u/Existing-Republic172

What the title says.

I'm slowly starting to accept myself the way I am. I ordered a lot of new clothes and I'm feeling myself, yay! I even bought buffalo platform boots, which is a big deal for me, because I didn't dare to wear something like this for a long time, not just because of my hight but also because of my shoe size. In my fucked up brain shoes like this can't look good on me because boots that size look so loooong and big. But I'm doing it anyway. I want to finally wear what I think is pretty!

Anyway, I'm just wondering how did you gain confidence? Because being tall and fat you're obviously standing out and it's far from the beauty standard. I mean, we can't escape societal expectations. It's so deeply engrained in us to have to be small and petite as a woman...

I need to unlearn all the shame around my body size, so, pls tell me how you did it if you want to tell <3

I don't just have binges, I also have following problem.

I can't fall asleep easily because I'm often very awake when I actually should be sleeping. I can't relax! But I learned that one things gets me to relax a bit. Having a very very full belly. So even if the day was fine, the real challenge starts at night. I plan my day accordingly and eat very filling food at night that won't be too many calories but still fill me up - on good days. On bad days, well, I don't need to tell.

Sometimes I can do yoga nidra and/or sleeping meditations. Sometimes it works. But tbh mostly I'm so exhausted I can't even put on the video. Eating is easy.

When I'm talking about it with my friend she even says that she can't sleep with a full belly so for her it's opposite. I wish I was like her with this because 50% of my slip ups are at night because I can't relax otherwise :(

It's an exile. I didn't know about exiles when it showed itself and it showed itself as me (ageless I guess) in a kind of prison. My mind is blown. Mind you, I didn't know about exiles when this happened. This was the second time I saw my therapist.

The day after therapy I saw her in my mind and I had to cry. I didn't really cry for a long time.

Yesterday I wanted to do a break and follow my breath. I got the idea to put my hands on my heart and belly, like I did in therapy when she showed herself to me for the first time and I imagined her in my mind. She said "leave me alone!!" which I accepted.

Today I learned more about ifs and meanwhile I felt her again a bit. I got a bit sad and scared but nothing dramatic.

I'm so happy to have found this therapist and I'm so excited for what's to come!

Just wanted to tell the world or idk.. I'm just very happy and my mind is blown. This kind of work is crazy! Wow

For Death is not the end I can see the lyrics on YouTube but not for the second part, does she sing something else there?

And the dark I just can hear a few words here and there. I really want to know the full lyrics, someone please help me out 🙏