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So I have a friend with an ED who won’t admit it. I know she knows because she literally studies this. She’s become very close with my other friend who I’ve known to always have had a horrible ED the entire time I’ve known her. Anyway. Yesterday we spoke in the middle of the day and she said “oh I’ve only had 10,000 steps today, I need to walk more!!!”
I know she could hear my disapproval in my silence as she then said ‘don’t judge me!!’
Mind you this girl has always been VERY. Thin. She has lost a SEVERE ammount of weight in the past year or two, to the point where strangers in public will comment on her body, and NEVER in a good way. It’s always something along the lines of ‘I could snap that girl in half’. She no longer fits into any of the clothes she’s spent her life collecting, all of which are size S or XS already. She talks about not fitting into her clothes anymore like it’s normal.
Anyway later yesterday evening I was with her and our other ED friend and she was showing us how she (seemingly, at the recommendation of ED friend #2) added her step count as a WIDGET TO HER LOCKSCREEN. Am I dumb or is this beyond not normal? I’ve only counted steps when actively trying to lose weight, and only had friends doing this when they were at their lowest in their ED, one before she went to treatment. And no, before you ask, she’s not eating a lot either. She thinks she is but she never finishes her food / eats one meal in two portions over the day and calls it two, or leaves half of the meal on her plate unless it’s something like a small appetizer which we are sharing. She had an apple with a little bit of yoghurt for dessert the other day and genuinley ‘left half for breakfast in the morning’. One apple. It got to a point where one night she drank a normal amount and became insanely sick, and since then has clearly chosen not drinking over eating a normal human ammount. Counting steps is one thing to try and keep active if you’re notoriously under active or if you are sure you’re eating enough to keep yourself nourished — it is NOT for someone in a constant calorie deficit who is already beyond severely underweight. I’ve spoken to her briefly about how her not eating or just picking at food and then pretending she ate SO MUCH has been really affecting me and worrying me, and she pretends not to notice and says that’s just not true. Am I wrong to be genuinely very worried??? I supposed to say something or just leave it?? (Please be nice to me I’m very sensitive and genuinely worried about my oldest friend. I don’t mean any of this in a harmful way, just trying to give adequate context to get responses that can be helpful.)

Also edit: I don’t worry as much about friend #2 because for one she’s a very new friend and second this seems like something she’s dealt with her whole life and ‘solved’ by being vegan and only eating vegetables and fruits (no I’m not exaggerating. Every meal is veggies that usually come with a side or a rice or something that I’ve never seen her touch. Recently we were at a party where she only ate a bit of mango salad and then the birthday cake came out, vegan chocolate ((alledgedly her favorite)) and she was quite literally foaming at the mouth but wouldn’t have more than a bite of my slice. She also hides herself to extreme extents, wearing long shirts under every single outfit. Clearly not ok but clearly has been this way for far longer than I have known her. I guess she thinks this makes it unnoticeable, but our other friends are all VERY aware of it and disheartened by it. The two friends together have been making eachother worse though and we all can see it but them. Neither of them think they’re sick or at least think that anyone notices that they’re sick. It breaks my heart but I don’t know what to do. I feel like I shouldn’t have introduced them.

So I have a friend with an ED who won’t admit it. I know she knows because she literally studies this. She’s become very close with my other friend who I’ve known to always have had a horrible ED the entire time I’ve known her. Anyway. Yesterday we spoke in the middle of the day and she said “oh I’ve only had 10,000 steps today, I need to walk more!!!”
I know she could hear my disapproval in my silence as she then said ‘don’t judge me!!’
Mind you this girl has always been VERY. Thin. She has lost a SEVERE ammount of weight in the past year or two, to the point where strangers in public will comment on her body, and NEVER in a good way. It’s always something along the lines of ‘I could snap that girl in half’. She no longer fits into any of the clothes she’s spent her life collecting, all of which are size S or XS already. She talks about not fitting into her clothes anymore like it’s normal.
Anyway later yesterday evening I was with her and our other ED friend and she was showing us how she (seemingly, at the recommendation of ED friend #2) added her step count as a WIDGET TO HER LOCKSCREEN. Am I dumb or is this beyond not normal? I’ve only counted steps when actively trying to lose weight, and only had friends doing this when they were at their lowest in their ED, one before she went to treatment. And no, before you ask, she’s not eating a lot either. She thinks she is but she never finishes her food / eats one meal in two portions over the day and calls it two, or leaves half of the meal on her plate unless it’s something like a small appetizer which we are sharing. She had an apple with a little bit of yoghurt for dessert the other day and genuinley ‘left half for breakfast in the morning’. One apple. It got to a point where one night she drank a normal amount and became insanely sick, and since then has clearly chosen not drinking over eating a normal human ammount. Counting steps is one thing to try and keep active if you’re notoriously under active or if you are sure you’re eating enough to keep yourself nourished — it is NOT for someone in a constant calorie deficit who is already beyond severely underweight. I’ve spoken to her briefly about how her not eating or just picking at food and then pretending she ate SO MUCH has been really affecting me and worrying me, and she pretends not to notice and says that’s just not true. Am I wrong to be genuinely very worried??? I supposed to say something or just leave it?? (Please be nice to me I’m very sensitive and genuinely worried about my oldest friend. I don’t mean any of this in a harmful way, just trying to give adequate context to get responses that can be helpful.)

Also edit: I don’t worry as much about friend #2 because for one she’s a very new friend and second this seems like something she’s dealt with her whole life and ‘solved’ by being vegan and only eating vegetables and fruits (no I’m not exaggerating. Every meal is veggies that usually come with a side or a rice or something that I’ve never seen her touch. Recently we were at a party where she only ate a bit of mango salad and then the birthday cake came out, vegan chocolate ((alledgedly her favorite)) and she was quite literally foaming at the mouth but wouldn’t have more than a bite of my slice. She also hides herself to extreme extents, wearing long shirts under every single outfit. Clearly not ok but clearly has been this way for far longer than I have known her. I guess she thinks this makes it unnoticeable, but our other friends are all VERY aware of it and disheartened by it. The two friends together have been making eachother worse though and we all can see it but them. Neither of them think they’re sick or at least think that anyone notices that they’re sick. It breaks my heart but I don’t know what to do. I feel like I shouldn’t have introduced them.