u/FATT-TOFU
▲ 144 r/AmazonDSPDrivers
Don’t EVER order a football off of Amazon.
And if you do, you better hope I’m not the one delivering that mf. Because imma DELIVER that thang if you know what I mean. I’m stiff arming yo wife, I’m hurdling yo dog, AND I’m throwing yo cat (fuck Dr. Elsey’s).
u/FATT-TOFU — 3 days ago
▲ 242 r/AmazonDSPDrivers
Fuck you and fuck yo cat too.
All this damn cat litter. 500 cats and I can’t even pet one, and why is your house so damn dirty? Maybe you need to order a damn vacuum instead of two heavy ass boxes of Dr. Elsey’s every week. Next time I get a third floor apartment with five boxes of this litter I’m pissing in it myself. Your porch smells like cat piss and you probably do too. I know one of these cats is paying rent because ain’t no human living like this voluntarily. Every step up these stairs sounds like I’m hauling concrete mix for a feline construction project. And why do all cat people open the door like they’re surprised? B****, you ordered 84 pounds of sand for that 900 year old raccoon you can’t let go of. DAMN this shit is heavy it’s 94 degrees outside and Dr. Elsey if you’re reading this FUCK YOU TOO.
u/FATT-TOFU — 5 days ago
▲ 1.4k r/golf
Hole-in-one dilemma.
I am a 26 handicap playing the game of my life. I have played the whole round (up to #17) with one ball and I hit my first hole in one on the par 3 #17 to bring my total score up to 93 before the par 5 18th hole. The question is, would you play the last hole with this ball so you can say you broke 100 for the first time, got your first hole in one, and kept a ball for the whole round for the the first time ALL IN ONE GAME???? Decide what you would do before I tell you what I did in the comments.
u/FATT-TOFU — 14 days ago