u/Fabulous-Stop-1095

I understand that a lot of people go to the office just to get the job done and not necessarily to make friends. In my case, though, I feel like for this type of job, it’s necessary to have a couple of friends you can sit with and just chit chat between calls because it makes the day easier and less stressful and boring.

I’ve been in this industry for about 13 years. For the last five years (COVID), I was working from home and only had to respond to emails, so I didn’t have to interact directly with people but I was fired from that job this year. It was kind of hard for me because I had gotten used to being home and being somewhat isolated, but I was also excited to get out again, meet people, and potentially form some friendships.

That idea quickly went away when I started working at my current job and noticed that about 80% of the people working there are 20–26, while I’m a 34 year old woman. So obviously, I don’t have much in common with them. The only thing we have in common is the job. I don’t really have anything to talk about with them, and I’m feeling pretty lonely.

I had a friend I met during training, and we used to sit together, but we were separated, and now I’m all alone and just bored in my cubicle while everyone around me has their own clique. On top of that, the outgoing people who love to ask, Why are you alone? or Why don’t you talk to anyone?

I’m only three weeks into the job and already feeling out of place. I understand that some people don’t care about having friends at work, but for me, it’s important not to feel this way about my job because I already dread going to work.

I've (34F) never really trusted my parents. I grew up with an emotionally absent father and a mother who constantly criticized me for being quiet and reserved, while comparing me to my brother or other people. She still does it to this day.

I feel like those experiences made it impossible for me to trust them or open up about my life. I don't feel comfortable sharing anything with them. It honestly feels like they're not my parents, but just people I happen to live with.

They know very little about me, and they rarely ask. But whenever we argue, they'll say things like, "I don't know who your friends are," "I don't know where you work," "You never talk to me," "I don't know if you're dating anyone," or "I know nothing about your life or what's going on in your mind." And they're right; they don't.

I dread talking to them. Sharing things about myself doesn't feel natural; it feels heavy. I've always been secretive, and I've lied to them for years because it was easier than explaining myself.

The hardest part is that I still have to live with them because my brother and I fully support both of our parents financially. So living on my own isn't an option right now, and I don't know when it will be. It's honestly depressing because I've always dreamed of having my own place.

I hate feeling like I have to explain every little thing: where I'm going, why I'm leaving the house, why I'm coming home late. At this point, it's gotten so exhausting that sometimes I'd rather not do anything at all just so I don't have to answer questions. My brother is the complete opposite of me. He's an oversharer, so naturally my parents compare me to him.

Some people would probably say, "Just grow up and talk to them more." But it isn't that simple. It feels like I'm wired this way. After years of not feeling emotionally safe with them, opening up doesn't feel natural; it feels uncomfortable. I'm going crazy.

I'm 34, and I've never been in a real relationship. I had a situationship that lasted almost four years, but most of our conversations were just about everyday life or his job.

For as long as I can remember, I've believed that I don't have anything interesting to share, so I've never really pursued relationships because of that fear. And it's not just romantic relationships; I struggle with friendships too. Once our lives start going in different directions, I usually distance myself instead of trying to maintain the connection.

The truth is, I don't feel like I've built a life that's worth sharing. I also struggle to develop interests or hobbies that I genuinely stick with. And whenever I meet someone new, it's like my mind goes blank. If someone asked me who my favorite artist is or what I like to do, I honestly wouldn't know what to say. It's like I have a blank personality because I don't really know myself.

Intimacy is another issue. My sexual experience is very limited, so even if I'm attracted to a guy, I usually avoid anything physical because I care way too much about what people think of me.

Ironically, I don't have trouble attracting men. I'm considered '' cute '', so guys approach me fairly often, but that actually terrifies me. I never know what to talk about, how to keep a conversation going, or how to let someone get to know me. I'm also naturally quiet and reserved, which makes it even harder because I feel like I can never truly relax and be myself.

I recently met a guy who told me he'd like to get to know me better. I'm attracted to him, and he seems attracted to me too. But he's incredibly smart and has so many hobbies and interests that I immediately feel like I have nothing to contribute. Instead of getting to know him, I've been avoiding him.

I'm tired of feeling this way. I want to build a life that feels meaningful to me, discover who I am, and learn how to connect with people on a deeper level. I just don't know where to start.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? How did you overcome it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Is it something that starts in childhood? Does it come from parents encouraging that mindset? Is it something people learn by observing others?

I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes some people dream big and constantly want more for themselves, while others seem content just getting by. Where does that drive come from? Is it personality, upbringing, parental support, mentors, or a combination of all those things?

Personally, I didn't grow up in an environment that encouraged ambition in that sense. My father is a lazy bum. All his life, he’s been financially dependent on his family, working just enough to help my mother and him keep the household running. Now he has nothing, and we, his children, have to support him. My poor mother, overwhelmed by how useless my father was and having to juggle work, the house, and taking care of him and his children, I feel like she didn’t have the energy for anything else. So, they weren't the type to sit down with me and ask what I wanted out of life, what my goals were, or where I saw myself in the future.

Part of me feels just as useless as my father and harbors resentment. The only time I remember my father sitting down to give me career advice was when I was about to start college and had no idea what to study. He told me he thought I should major in Business, and that was pretty much the extent of the conversation.

Now, when I see people describe themselves as highly ambitious, driven, and unwilling to settle, I genuinely wonder where that mindset comes from. Were they taught that growing up? Did they have parents or mentors who encouraged them to dream big? Or is it something people develop on their own?

I don’t know if this comes with age, but I’m 34f and nothing really interests me the way it did in my 20s. I remember being obsessed with an artist, a TV show, a song, or a band, as if it were somehow part of my personality.

I used to have very defined interests, but for a while now, I feel like I can like things without it going so deep that it becomes part of who I am. If someone asks me what my favorite artist, movie, or TV show is, I honestly wouldn’t know what to say. I like things, but I don’t feel strongly attached to them anymore. At the same time, I feel a bit jealous of people who still have very clear, fixed interests. It just feels meh. I've tried new hobbies, but they don't feel interesting to me, like it doesn't spark '' joy ''.

I'm really into makeup, perfumes, clothes, and bags, but I barely buy any of it anymore because I don't really have anywhere to wear it. Every time I see a cute dress or a bag that I absolutely love, I end up not buying it because I know it'll just sit in my closet.

I work from home, which doesn't help. I'm also single and don't have a huge social life, so there aren't many occasions to dress up. Buying something that I'll wear maybe once every few months just feels sad.

And yeah, I know people will say, "Just dress up for yourself" or "Go out alone," and I get it. But for me, it's not quite the same.

I had a boyfriend a while back, and we'd see each other about once a week. That was my chance to pull out all the makeup, nice clothes, and perfume. I'd get completely dressed up to go get ice cream, and every single time he'd look at me and say, "Why are you so dressed up?"

Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "Because this is my one opportunity to wear all the stuff I never get to wear."

Siempre nos dicen que debes ahorrar, que debes guardar dinero, pero ¿para qué exactamente? ¿Sus ahorros tienen nombre y apellido? ¿O solo es guardar por guardar?

Por ejemplo, yo tengo mi ahorro para fondo de emergencia, ahorro en general y un fondo para viajes. Sé que con lo difícil que está la cosa en este país, estamos sobreviviendo y rara vez podemos «ahorrar». Pero para los que sí pueden, ¿para qué ahorran ustedes? ¿Cuáles son sus categorías de ahorro? ¿O para qué propósito?

Soy mujer, estudié Adm. de empresas, me casé joven y por circunstancias de la vida no he ejercido mi carrera. Solo he tenido trabajitos, pero nada de oficina. Recientemente aprendí inglés y estoy trabajando en un call center, pero quiero salir de eso.

No sé por dónde empezar para trabajar en oficinas y construir una carrera y, honestamente, no sé qué hacer, como que no me gusta nada, no sé cuál es mi propósito. Como estoy en mis 30's, ya en este punto de mi vida lo que quiero es hacer carrera en algo y tener buen dinero. Quiero saber qué hace la gente en este país que muchos tienen su buen dinero, ¿a qué se dedican?

Emprender no sé si es algo para mí.

No encuentro información de estas cosas, digamos, en el Ministerio de Trabajo o informes oficiales, o sea, ¿no sé cuáles son las carreras u oficios que en este país están buscando y que dejen dinero y que no se haga difícil para la mujer entrar? ¿Me pueden aconsejar?

Estoy cansada de ser espectadora y vivir con sueldo mínimo. Gracias

Desde muy joven viajo, pero nunca hacía comparaciones con RD hasta hace poco. Desde el año pasado hasta ahora he ido a Colombia, Ecuador, Guatemala y Puerto Rico. No me gusta compararlos porque algunos de estos son más grandes que RD pero me daba como tristeza pensar y ver que estos países estaban mejor cuidados, todo pintado, la gente respetuosa, limpio, se veían vibrantes. Y luego llegaba a RD y no sé por qué, pero lo veía sucio, gris, el caos del tráfico, el caos visual por los tendidos eléctricos, las aceras no afaltadas, los motoristas, falta de mantenimiento a lugares públicos, etc.... Y sentía hasta vergüenza y me cuestionaba cómo es que recibimos tantos turistas. Y sé que la mayoría van a PC pero me pregunto también cuántos de ellos de verdad regresan por buena experiencia o se van con buena imagen, porque el dominicano es bien particular y quiere ser el más tiguere y lardon. Yo con todo y todo amo mi país y siento que tendríamos mucho más potencial si el dominicano cambiara su forma y se adaptara. En fin, ¿a quién más le ha pasado?