u/Fabulous_Support_556

I’m a 24yr old dark skin black women and have been on the app for over a month. I get about 2-4 likes a week. Which is fine but a lot less than what I was hoping for. I’m considered above average and model part time while working and studying full time.
I prefer LTR and there is nothing objectively wrong with my profile. Yet I receive low engagement from low quality profiles (men with unfinished profiles looking for hookups).

So I went ahead and deleted my profile and started a new one a week later listing my ethnicity as white and I’ve never received so many likes from decent men before. Most are looking for what I’m looking for. And they’re well educated and aren’t interested in me for my body. Not all but most.

But I feel to embarrassed and ashamed of my skin color to celebrate. All this time I thought I wasn’t good enough but it was just the apps racial biases. I don’t know if wanna continue using it anymore. I’ve haven’t felt so rejected and excluded in a very very long time.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I was dating a guy for about 2 months and he was okay. Had issues about him communicating and ghosting at in appropriate times but we enjoyed the relationship. I enjoyed it. He’s 4 years older than me and works in tech. I work in the beauty industry and just started this month.

We were on a call a while ago and I told him I’m starting work soon and will be trying a new aesthetic for my job (this was beginning April). He told me to order some stuff online and that he’ll reimburse me. He said to order things no more than $125. Which I did.

2 weeks ago he calls me and says his grandad is sick then he ghosted me. I would call and see him online and ignoring me. At this point it wasn’t about the money, but solely about his well being because he was crying and hysterical last time I called. I kept trying to reach out for a week. Each time he would read my messages, like my stories and just ghost.

The second week I told him I don’t want to be with him because it’s a respect thing at this point. He didn’t answer. I tried calling again today and he blocked me.

I’m not upset more so about about the ghosting because he could be grieving. What I’m upset by is the fact that he didn’t respect me enough to just tell me he can’t talk and doesn’t want to be with me. I’d have been VERY fine with that.

I did not deserve this. I did nothing to deserve this. I hand crafted him a bouquet for his deceased sister’s birthday which he told his mom about because they live together and they both appreciated it.

I don’t care about whatever he wants to say and just want my money because it’s a lot and it’s mine. We live in the same state and I want to set up a “business” meeting to try and get him to send what he owes so we can part ways.

AITH

My partner and I have been together for what would be 4 years this month. We met online and in person. He is my first everything. I’m 25 and his 24.

The last few months has been difficult for us. We met at a bad time and still were for the majority of our relationship. We were students with mental health problems. I saw a therapist about it because I had to. He doesn’t believe in it so never did though he seems fine. But yeah, we wanted to move out and couldn’t because of finances. Which made me feel tired and defeated after being with him for so long and having no real progress.

Our relationship strained since we were both upset about where we were and we slowly. Very slowly, became distant. Last month I initiated the conversation about breaking up and we both didn’t want to. We really didn’t. So we worked on things and it felt whole again. Things felt like they were back to normal.

He felt happy but seemed on the fence. Last Saturday he tells me we need to talk and it has to be in person which was odd because all our discussions happened online with no issues. And I just knew.

He told me he cheated in January this year. Met a girl on tinder and had sex with her twice then stopped it, he was on hiv prep and was worried he caught and std and got a bunch of negative tests results. He said he knew and was absolutely certain we were going to break up so he did it for revenge and in hopes of replacing me.

He said he felt repulsed by her and couldn’t stay erect throughout the whole ordeal. He told me he did it becaise he was upset at me for not loving me and wanted to hurt me. To make me jealous.

I don’t feel anger or rage or anything. Just sadness.
Just sadness.
I told him I’m not jealous and his revenge worked in hurting me forever. I told him I’ve loved him for the entirety of the relationship and that this was not deserved. He said he felt sick and disgusted by himself because of how well things were going and that he didn’t think they’d work out. He didn’t want to keep it a secret so he told me. We met yesterday and he didn’t even want touch me in any way. Which is something I was on board with because he made me feel dirty.

I feel so embarrassed and ashamed and disgusted that he continued to have sex with me. I don’t want to share this story but have no one to talk to

I’ve been in a relationship for a few months and a week ago he called me with bad news about a relative then proceeded to ghost me. I’ve heard nothing and know nothing

It’s been a week now and he owes me a substantial amount of money. Money he promised to return and I get the feeling his ghosting because of that. He reads my messages and what not but doesn’t respond. I thought at first he might be grieving but I don’t know that. I know nothing and I’ve only been with him for a few months so there’s no benefit of the doubt to give him based on the fact that his blatantly ignoring me. His actions are telling me his ghosting and I want to secure my money.

Would I be the a hole if I sue to make sure he gives it back since his not communicating with me?

I’ve been with my partner for about 2 months. And his a great guy, great communication, great dates and I’m happy I’m with him. Last week Sunday he went off for a few hours which is highly unlike him. I called a few times to make sure his okay and he eventually got back to me the evening.

His grandpa is 84 and has been going through dialysis for years. The family can no longer afford it and he was very distraught about the possibility of saying goodbye. I comforted him and he cried for a while then we said goodnight. I told him I’ll be here for him and that he can reach out for some support.

That’s the last I’ve heard of him. I know it’s just been a few months but I care for him. I want him to be safe. It’s been 4 days since that call and I’ve heard absolutely nothing from him. Not a text, not a call. Nothing. I can’t function not knowing whether he is safe or not.

I don’t know if his grandpa is fine because I haven’t heard anything and I don’t have any of his relatives info because I’m still new in his life.

I’m terrified. I’m worried something happened to him. I tried doing a wellness check and couldn’t because we layed off on visiting each others homes and his apartment complex don’t perform the wellness checks on your behalf. There is no way of me reaching out to anyone to make sure his okay.

Except his sister.

I did not email her but I managed to get a hold of her address but I’m debating whether or not to send it. I need to know his okay. I’m worried he might of self harmed or done something drastic and I just want to know his okay then I’ll let things be or … grieve him. Which is not a reality I want to focus on.

AITH for wanting to reach out to her to make sure his okay?

Any advice would appreciated