Hey,
Lets pretend we never met before. Ill extend my hand first and introduce myself.
Ill allow you to reimagine yourself if you let me do the same. We are after all different people now.
Wanna give it a go?
Im ready when youre ready.
I watched myself ruin myself just to obtain you back; I begged and knelt and exerted too much effort just to tell you /show you how much I love you and how I don't want to lose you. And then I reached a point in my life where all the things I did for you are not enough, so I realized that you don't deserve me.
You don’t care about it though, do you?
Was hurting me with the intention to ruin me work out the way you wanted?? Did that make you happy?
Hopefully it did, you got what you wanted. Right?
Byeee
D,
Ohhhh
Never mind, I don’t know what I was thinking. For a brief moment I had some delusional thought of “hope”.
Also, before I sent that, I had a weak moment and looked through our chats and heard your voice on a video. Ahh my heart, for that moment I missed you SO much I could barely breathe. All I could think about is being next to you. Seeing you next to me. Ughhh. Then yet again reality hits me…
You don’t care and you really know how to show it with the dry reply’s and lack of communication.
Hope you get your happy ending even if it’s not me.
Hope losing me brings you the happiness I could never bring you, truly.
While you are exploring, just know I’m here yearning for you like a fool. Don’t get too lost, ok??
There’s no point in trying anymore, I’ll miss you a lot.
Miss you, ya ya. See you later never goodbye!?..🥺
Love you, always.
T🥺💜
All good, have a good weekend.
Dj
This doesn't matter anyway, what I say . You won't read it anyway.
Ya. I wish you understood how much I wish this could work out. You and I. You being the end game. The happy ending I thought we always could have. We were always good in the beginning, bliss. Sometimes after it being good, maybe too good, you avoid. You disappear. Or maybe there's just someone else, who knows at this point.
It's a cycle, a pattern that I know too well. It hurts. I don't want you to change yourself. I don't want you to think you can't have your own time, with yourself, friends, or family, whatever really. I never wanted to control you.... I never expect anything really.
I just wanted you to be there sometimes when I needed you to be there for me, even if it meant me sitting there or being somewhere, idc. As long as you were around! You always make me feel calm. Safe and happy. The silence kills me. I just wanted to build our friendship back. Doesn’t mean we are JUST friends, clearlyyyyy. Ehh, you lack the communication to make things okay, the silence doesn't help anything but to assume the worst. Even if it was just to say you don't want to talk, you'll hit me up when you feel like it, then at least I knew not to bother you. How can I love you the way you want to be loved if you won't speak to me about anything at all? I wish you completely believed me when I say I care about you and how you are. You are enough for me just as you are....
T🤪
Dj,
It's 3am, little down time at work and all I can think about is you. Us. Laying there giggling about something silly you said. Fuck how badly I want to hear your laugh, feel you next to me. See you laying there sleeping peacefully and how badly I have to fight the urge to not kiss your face up cause you'll wake up annoyed I woke you up lol 😂
Sometimes I give in and just kiss you few times. Ha can't help it though, I look at your face and my whole body is filled with excitement of how cute you are....
I pushed you away and attempted to let it all go but keep you online at most cause idk how to make anything work anymore.
The silence hurts me at some point and it makes me feel like you are completely gone. I crave you in ways that just a simple conversation would do, rather than nothing at all. I wish you’d understand that.
I'm sorry for being a brat and assuming the worse of you. I don't know how to not do that with the constant silence. I want to understand why you do it though and not overthink it and say dumb shit.... maybe that's for a conversation in person or over the phone. Just help me understand you
more. I don't want to give up on everything.. ugh
Love youuuu
T
D
I wish you cared enough about me. Us.
I get it now. Mehh
I wish you'd just tell me on some platform that the doors are unlocked and hurry up, call me and tell me silly things as I'm on my way. ugh. Feels like a nightmare I can't wake up from.
Wishful thinking and I get it, it's all over with.
Sorry, I've tried this long.
Sorry, for the games I sent you thinking we could play together while we were apart living our lives.
Sorry for just trying and not getting the silence, I got the hint. My bad. Silly me, silllllly me…. Eeeee
I'll let it go. Ok?
I love you though. Fuck I love you so much it hurts to walk away and I wish we could have gotten it right. Damnnnn it why couldn't we?
See you later, never goodbye... right?
T 💜🥺
DJ, you were NEVER suppose to be someone/something I was suppose to heal from. You were NEVER expected to save me either. You were just suppose to be there. F*ck.
I’m sad we can’t make it work in this lifetime.
See you later never goodbye!
Love you
T
Would you notice if I just disappeared?
If I stop reaching out to you, stop trying to make plans to see you, do something… Stop all together? Would you even care?
You barely speak as is. Why won’t you just let us build any kind of friendship?? I guess I’m just lost on what to do anymore at this moment in time….
I don’t know if I have it in me to keep trying at this point. When you make me feel like I’m just a burden to you.
I miss when you put some effort, tried to talk to me.
I suppose it was always just me, huh? To put in any kind of effort, I’m exhausted.
Hope when you realize I’m gone you can appreciate I tried to make it all work. I always fought for you, us.
I’ll always love you. Don’t ever get that twisted.
See you later, never goodbye .
T.
Ohhhh Dj, I just miss you. Miss your voice, your body. Miss your sassy silly self. That’s all, need to get it out of my system before u keep sending you things lol 😂
See you soon? Ya? Pleaseeee
👾T
As I'm doing my laundry, a random show is going on. Mid-fold of some kind of shirt, I think to myself, all I'm missing to make this evening good is you. You aren't in view anywhere, I don't hear you saying something about something or even that little chuckle you do after saying something very absurd.
I'm content, fine. Sad, whatever the usual, but fuck do I just want you in view, hear you, something to give my mind a little peace. I'm not going to send this, what's the point? You aren't going to ask me to come over. So here I’ll be all night, trying to remember the feeling next to you. Ughhh
Miss you as always,
Hope you have a good weekend, see you soon? Hopefully 😭🥺💜 T
Dj,
I’m in my head, lost wondering where you are?
Are you home yet??
I’ll be on the way.
I’ve daydreamed about us hanging out for a few days now when life is overwhelming me and I need that peace you bring me.
I want, need to feel you next to me. Pretty please!!!
Why aren’t you home yet??
I’ll hug you ever so gently but with the rush you know I needed it and missed you, you as a whole. Ahhhh
I want to be able to wake up and hate it’s morning already because the time went by too fast next to you.
Reach for you and kiss you. Hold you, you know how much I adore just your face alone?? Right? Ughhh neeeed it in front of meeeee!
Just tell me to come home, that you miss me too.
I’ll be on my way, let’s play your favorite game pls 🥺👾 let’s escape this nightmare together, with our playful little banter for a few hrs, ya know the usual? Ugh I hope so.
T💜💜
Welp, Dj, here I am at work, 3am and all I can think about is you.
Next few nights off, and all I can hope is you reach out at some point and want to speak. Something.
I miss you.
Even if we can’t hang out, let me hear your voice. Tell me how work is going, tell me anything on your mind. Honestly, at this point, I don’t care as long as I hear your voice.
I miss you. I said that I know. I missssss you.
Hope you aren’t in your head too much.
Love you 😘
Hope I can see you soon. Even if we do nothing and everything, let’s just relax and enjoy our little time we have together, okay?
Xox always YOUR crazy T 🤪💜🥺