u/FaithlessnessOld3594

hey y’all i had a couple of people as about an update. we got my stepson yesterday and i am very happy to say that there was no undies in his clothes basket this week!!! i would like to thank everyone for their support and for making me laugh with ideas on what to do if it happens again lol. like i said i really don’t know if it was intentional or if laundry got mixed up, i do feel like she did it on purpose only because after my husband told her she could take him to court she backed off and started crying and saying no she didn’t want to go to court.

EDIT: usually i send her pictures of stepsons outfits for school every morning so she can have pictures of him she told me not to text her anymore so that means no outfit pics right!? well she’s mad that she didn’t recieve a picture of her son this morning 😂😂😂 and i have blocked her!!!!!

someone asked if this was the first time something weird has happened and no it’s not,

last year stepson had an awards ceremony and my husband and i were waiting inside and she called him to ask if they had started and he said no we were just waiting and she got mad that i was there because she thought i was trying to steal her mom role, so i decided to step out and wait in the truck because i didn’t want her to create a scene and ruin stepsons day. when she pulled into the parking lot she got out and started yanking on the door handle telling me to get out and if i really wanted to be kiddos stepmom i would get out and talk to her. i did not get out of the truck and i stayed inside the whole time. after everything was done she demanded i stay and hear her “apology” which i did and afterwards i didn’t have anything to say to her and she proceeded to look at my husband and say “you see i’m trying to be respectful she isn’t“., could i have said something? yes, but anything that was going to come out of my mouth wasn’t nice so i decided to keep quiet.

after that she got a boyfriend and i was able to attend stepsons games and events, they did break up around 4 months ago and then this happened.

TL;DR: no undies this week, new debate she told me not to text her every again and i always send her pictures of stepsons school outfits so she can have pictures of him and doesnt feel like she’s missing out on his life, i didn’t send pictures this morning and she’s mad lol 😂

so my husband and i have been married for 3 years, he was previously married to his ex and he found out she cheated the whole marriage and they got divorced,

well they share custody of their son 50/50 and 4 weeks ago she sent kid over with a basket of clothes and i was picking out clothes for him to wear to school one morning and i found 3 panties in the basket. now immediate thought was ok laundry probably got mixed up no biggie, i told my husband about it he said if it happened again we would say something because he doesn’t want her stuff at our house. two weeks later kid comes over to our house for the week with a new basket and i’m picking out his clothes for school and i find 2 more panties and lingerie. i immediately told my husband and we agreed we would say something.

now anytime my husband brings up anything she always gets defensive so i told him i would send her a text and all i said was “hey!! kid was sent home with his basket, on top are a lot of your personal items, this has happened twice before and we both ask that from now on you please be more careful with what gets sent with him., thank you!!” i didn’t hear back from her all day so i assumed she got embarrassed and didn’t want to say anything back which was perfect for me because no conflict. later that night she sends two texts back to back saying “don’t ever text me again, you are not and never will be kids mom” i didn’t say anything back to her because i’ve never claimed to be her sons mom i’ve always said i’m just an extra support system i’m not here to steal anyone’s role. well she proceeded to call my husband screaming saying she was going to take him to court and that i threatened her and was trying to tell her how to parent. mind you my husband saw the texts of what i said there was no threatening done whatsoever. soooo AITJ for telling my husbands ex to keep her personal items at her house?? 

TL;DR: ex wife was sending kid over with a basket of clothes for the week and her lingerie was in it two weeks in a row, i said something to her about it and she threatened to take my husband to court for it.

don’t even know where to begin because this has been building up inside me for so long…

life is complicated as is, but dealing with everything involving you has affected me in so many ways, i have spend countless days, overthinking, stressing, questioning myself, and walking on eggshells. i feel like no matter what i do there is always drama, conflict, or judgment just waiting to burst. 

i have let myself replay stupid situations in my head over and over again. i’m so angry that i let myself feel small and insecure because of you. i never wanted tension, competition, or any resentment, all i wanted was peace. i don’t want to carry this forever with me anymore. i no longer want your actions and words to have power over my emotions…

and as much pain and anger this situation has given me i can’t ignore that it also gave me the best gift of all. 

i never thought that a child i didn’t birth could bring me so much love and have such a big place in my heart. in the middle of all the drama and chaos i’m thankful that you are his mom, because of you he exists, and i get the wonderful privilege of knowing him, loving him, and watching him grow into who he is. 

and although you made choices that broke your relationship apart, i’m glad you did, because without them i never would’ve found the love of my life, who chooses me over and over again even on difficult days. 

i don’t know if i’ll ever stop grieving the stress but i won’t sit here and act like i wish things were different because if they were, i wouldn’t have the life i have now. 

hello everyone, i’m a new stepmom have been with my husband for 3 years, first 2 years were rough i wasn’t allowed in SK life which was understandable being a parent you have to be cautious of who joins your kids life., this year was my first year fully involved, (getting kid ready for school, attending school games, etc). my husband does not have a good co parenting relationship with bio mom but he is actively working on it for kids sake., and i’ve tried to have a good friendship with her but all i ever get is “you’re not his mom and never will be“ from her. does anyone here actually have a good relationship with the bio mom? and if so how long did it take to achieve that friendship?

also to add i’ve never stated i was SK mom, from the beginning i told my husband im not mom he has his own mom i’m just an extra support system for him.