u/Fancy-Surround-7624

Me '26F' an my boyfriend '30M'are 2,5 years together, but during the relationship (epecially last year) we started to realise that our personalities are completelly different. We became a couple really quickly after we met each other (only after one month), so we didn't really knew each other. I like his personality (major of it), but for him it's most like he likes only a minor of my personality, and I kind of agree with him, because I don't really like some parts of me and how I'm dealing with some life situations and how I function sometimes. So I want to change, becase I'm genuinely not happy in my life because of this parts of me, it actually makes me psychologicaly sick (please note, that it is not because of my partner, I had issues with this even before we met)

So his personality is more optimistic, high achieving, he acts, on stuff, he is able to solve problems, he is acivelly selfimproving himself, he has good communicaion skills, he gets to do things on time, the life drives him, he likes to complete tasks and is happy after he does them. He doesn't take himself too serious and is able to make fun of anything. He is comfident, and he is good at asserting his opinions.

My personality on the other hand is avoidant (I avoid problems, hiding myself - currently working on it), bad at communicating any problem even a minor one (also currently working on it), I tend to procrastinate a lot (also currently working on it), I don't have drive to my life (never have since 12 years old - or even earlier), I have problems with wakeing up, doing things - I just don't "enjoy my life", like I'm forcing myself to do almost evererything, I have a problem to see tasks as a big things to do, and after completing a task I only feel relief and not joy or anything like that. I had/have a problem with dopamin addictions (from screens like movies, series, games, socials ect.) - also currently working on it, I don't get how to "fall in love with the process" I'm always focused on the end point rather then the process, therefore is hard for me to finish things. I tend to pitty myself (lately it's only in my head, previously I also spoke about it - also currently working on it)). I'm not good at asserting my opinions, I'm not confident. I'm always pessimistic - also currently working on it, don't believe myself at all.

When we speak about this incompatibility, he claims that he want's to help me, which is true, anytime I can speak about something or I need hepl with something he is always there and is trying to support me and give me advice what to do.

So my question is do you thing it is possiple for us to be happy once I will change at least part of it?

Also if anyone had any advices on how to deal with any of my problems, I'd be glad and thankfull if you share them.

If you have any questions about anything to this "case" I'd be glad if you ask.

Also excuse my english, it is not my native language.

In advance I really thank anyone of you for any advice or opinion.

TLDR: Is incompatibility innpersonalities a big problem in relationship? Could the relationship be healthy if one of the partners does want to change his own personality (me - 26F)?

Me '26F' an my boyfriend '30M'are 2,5 years together, but during the relationship (epecially last year) we started to realise that our personalities are completelly different. We became a couple really quickly after we met each other (only after one month), so we didn't really knew each other. I like his personality (major of it), but for him it's most like he likes only a minor of my personality, and I kind of agree with him, because I don't really like some parts of me and how I'm dealing with some life situations and how I function sometimes. So I want to change, becase I'm genuinely not happy in my life because of this parts of me, it actually makes me psychologicaly sick (please note, that it is not because of my partner, I had issues with this even before we met)

So his personality is more optimistic, high achieving, he acts, on stuff, he is able to solve problems, he is acivelly selfimproving himself, he has good communicaion skills, he gets to do things on time, the life drives him, he likes to complete tasks and is happy after he does them. He doesn't take himself too serious and is able to make fun of anything. He is comfident, and he is good at asserting his opinions.

My personality on the other hand is avoidant (I avoid problems, hiding myself - currently working on it), bad at communicating any problem even a minor one (also currently working on it), I tend to procrastinate a lot (also currently working on it), I don't have drive to my life (never have since 12 years old - or even earlier), I have problems with wakeing up, doing things - I just don't "enjoy my life", like I'm forcing myself to do almost evererything, I have a problem to see tasks as a big things to do, and after completing a task I only feel relief and not joy or anything like that. I had/have a problem with dopamin addictions (from screens like movies, series, games, socials ect.) - also currently working on it, I don't get how to "fall in love with the process" I'm always focused on the end point rather then the process, therefore is hard for me to finish things. I tend to pitty myself (lately it's only in my head, previously I also spoke about it - also currently working on it)). I'm not good at asserting my opinions, I'm not confident. I'm always pessimistic - also currently working on it, don't believe myself at all.

When we speak about this incompatibility, he claims that he want's to help me, which is true, anytime I can speak about something or I need hepl with something he is always there and is trying to support me and give me advice what to do.

So my question is do you thing it is possiple for us to be happy once I will change at least part of it?

Also if anyone had any advices on how to deal with any of my problems, I'd be glad and thankfull if you share them.

If you have any questions about anything to this "case" I'd be glad if you ask.

Also excuse my english, it is not my native language.

In advance I really thank anyone of you for any advice or opinion.

TLDR: Is incompatibility innpersonalities a big problem in relationship? Could the relationship be healthy if one of the partners does want to change his own personality (me - 26F)?

Me '26F' an my boyfriend '30M'are 2,5 years together, but during the relationship (epecially last year) we started to realise that our personalities are completelly different. We became a couple really quickly after we met each other (only after one month), so we didn't really knew each other. I like his personality (major of it), but for him it's most like he likes only a minor of my personality, and I kind of agree with him, because I don't really like some parts of me and how I'm dealing with some life situations and how I function sometimes. So I want to change, becase I'm genuinely not happy in my life because of this parts of me, it actually makes me psychologicaly sick (please note, that it is not because of my partner, I had issues with this even before we met)

So his personality is more optimistic, high achieving, he acts, on stuff, he is able to solve problems, he is acivelly selfimproving himself, he has good communicaion skills, he gets to do things on time, the life drives him, he likes to complete tasks and is happy after he does them. He doesn't take himself too serious and is able to make fun of anything. He is comfident, and he is good at asserting his opinions.

My personality on the other hand is avoidant (I avoid problems, hiding myself - currently working on it), bad at communicating any problem even a minor one (also currently working on it), I tend to procrastinate a lot (also currently working on it), I don't have drive to my life (never have since 12 years old - or even earlier), I have problems with wakeing up, doing things - I just don't "enjoy my life", like I'm forcing myself to do almost evererything, I have a problem to see tasks as a big things to do, and after completing a task I only feel relief and not joy or anything like that. I had/have a problem with dopamin addictions (from screens like movies, series, games, socials ect.) - also currently working on it, I don't get how to "fall in love with the process" I'm always focused on the end point rather then the process, therefore is hard for me to finish things. I tend to pitty myself (lately it's only in my head, previously I also spoke about it - also currently working on it)). I'm not good at asserting my opinions, I'm not confident. I'm always pessimistic - also currently working on it, don't believe myself at all.

When we speak about this incompatibility, he claims that he want's to help me, which is true, anytime I can speak about something or I need hepl with something he is always there and is trying to support me and give me advice what to do.

So my question is do you thing it is possiple for us to be happy once I will change at least part of it?

Also if anyone had any advices on how to deal with any of my problems, I'd be glad and thankfull if you share them.

If you have any questions about anything to this "case" I'd be glad if you ask.

Also excuse my english, it is not my native language.

In advance I really thank anyone of you for any advice or opinion.

TLDR: Is incompatibility innpersonalities a big problem in relationship? Could the relationship be healthy if one of the partners does want to change his own personality (me - 26F)?