u/Far-Balance5784

I had a dream I was speaking to my partners father about the natural world. He was telling me how the world was cruel and lonely, nature is ruthless-animals and humans alike are alone.
I responded by telling him that there is beauty in the act of selfless love, despite the pain of life and death. There’s community in the animal world and our world, it eases the pain. Love is the only thing that can ease the pain for the living.
Also, in this dream I was able to connect with someone with no need to communicate verbally, I felt like they understood my perspective, and I felt the side of myself that is shunned away from modern society be seen. Like an invisible network of nerves binding consciousness together.

I woke up and I began to think about what I would’ve replied with if it was a real conversation and not just a dream. I also reflected on that feeling of connection I felt in my dream, how it is truly not obtainable.
Humans are social animals that can develop myriad of issues if not loved properly. We are one brain in one body that will always yearn to expand outwards and be understood while understanding everything.
The fact we die alone, stay alone in our bodies, walk around in our minds all day and night-reflect on our individuality and society to no end-it’s awfully lonely to be so sentient. We evolved in a way that ensured survival in-order to reproduce, not happiness.

I began to compare this to the suffering of animals. No doubt they are capable of experiencing love, grief, and all the other suffering life has to offer. They lack an internal dialogue, they can’t critique their individuality, and they are most importantly not capable of true evil.
Considering they lack ability to consent, critically think, and commit evil actions, they are put in a vulnerable position beneath us on the food chain. Humans have to put a large amount of effort into keeping other animals alive and push them through man made horrors, something we have done to our own species as-well. The worst part about humans is that we create and maintain our own hell through continuing the human race.

Anyways, I would much rather hear what you guys think about my dream instead of ai or some shit. Thank you for reading :)

To preface this post, I’m a 20 year old woman. My mother had a child and was due for another child at this age.

I have a disposition about myself that drives new people away, so when my friend offered for me to join a group chat with other young women-I instantly agreed.

I was active at first but I felt that typical disconnect with people I usually do. I went from being active to observing, and I noticed that so many of these women and their friends were devastatingly lost.

They’d discuss being pregnant, unsafe sex, absent fathers, and poverty. But the topic of birth control, abortion, and the concept that “maybe this isn’t a good idea” wasn’t there. I’d see things like “you’re going to be such a great mama!!” Directed towards an expecting mom under 18.

They’d rant about the fathers of their children getting other young women pregnant and their struggles with poverty. Dispite this there was always this notion of “fuck men, you got this mama!” No. Why isn’t anyone telling them the reality? Are they just in denial of it? Are they being malicious?

These are people my age with similar resources, it doesn’t make sense. I just wanted to grab these women by the shoulders and shake some sense into them.

Obviously, even if they weren’t poor teenagers with shitty boyfriends the child would still end up suffering and being a net negative to the planet.

But it opened my eyes to how prevalent natalism is in my generation and how important accessible abortions are.

The stigma around abortions needs so much work to prevent people from suffering like these young women and their children.

This is a rant about my experience growing up around pro-natalist Christians.

Growing up I have always been horrified at the concept of carrying a child. As a little girl when I would sit down with the women in my family and tell them that I don’t want to ever become pregnant, they would gently tell me that I ultimately do not have a choice-just like how they didn’t.

They’d tell me I’d forget the pain, the hormones would make it okay. Fuck the pain and fuck the hormones.

It would disgust me how casually they would tell me I don’t have control over my body because I am a woman, like I’m not a person but a machine.

Most of the mothers I see mourn their old bodies. Like it’s just fate-I’m just gonna trade off loving myself for motherhood. When they tell me this I just nod, whatever makes you feel better.

Child me would think-suggesting I don’t have a choice implies violation and loss of autonomy. I would rather die before I surrender myself to “biological incentives”.

I was listening to my boyfriend’s grandma talk about her pain at the loss of one of her grandchildren, then she began to talk about other suffering she’s experienced.

She watched several family members die, slowly lost her husband, lives with chronic pain and disability, barely mobile. Every time I see her she seems to be in a state of misery, she always talks to me about it whenever she gets a chance. I feel unsettled knowing she’s in so much pain. I feel like it would’ve been better if she wasn’t brought into this world. I don’t want to seem like I am undervaluing her life, I only feel this way because I care about her well being.

What gets me is that the people around her see her suffering and continue to stay stuck in cycles of suffering-like procreation. It makes me feel like they fundamentally don’t understand, or maybe they just don’t care.

I asked my mom if she ever thought about the day I’d lose her, she explained that she never thought about it before I was born.
She came to a realization when talking to me: about how she loves me and wants the most pain free life for me, and that it would’ve been completely pain free if I never existed to begin with.
She told me she was sorry and that she didn’t think about it at the time, she suggested a biological clouding of logic. I feel so much closer to her now :)