u/FarMaterial6

Hi everyone, I'm currently 17 years old (FTM) and I distinctively remember in the 9th grade, my mom one day suggested she change my name. She asked this because she did and does not like the way I present myself: masculine, baggy clothes, streetwear-y style, short hair, etc. Basically not like a feminine girl she has in mind, and she has let me know on many occasions how much she hates that I'm not that. (I'm still closeted so she does not know I'm trans btw) I kept telling her no, very annoyed with hormones on fire and attitude (I admit it) but she'd just ask "why not? why not?" or laugh at my reaction. Then go watch 'Chinese name suggestions for women' (we are Chinese) youtube videos at an obnoxious loud volume. Mind you, this went on for maybe a month or two where I'd repeatedly tell her no, I don't wanna change my name to where she'd have those same reactions or get annoyed. She told me she's never found my name pretty, and that my dad chose it when she originally wanted to search for more possibilities. She also wanted a more feminine name probably to compensate for my masculine appearance and things, I don't know

Eventually I started kinda forgetting about the name change thing as you do when you just go on and about w ur life and that topic gradually just started becoming background noise bc of how much she'd go on about it. I didn't think shed actually do it, but I was naïve to think that lmao.
One Wednesday I came home from school and laid down on the couch, I remember I was already having a bad day so I decided to try and take a nap on the sofa, mom was out and it was cloudy n shit. Then I hear the car drive into the driveway and a min later my mom bursts through the door all smiley and tells me she just went to the municipal building/local government offices/town hall (sorry Idk the right word in English) or something and changed my name. I was obv shocked and surprised, meanwhile my mom seemed so happy about it.
Obv I got mad and super frustrated bc I honestly couldn' t believe she ACTUALLY did that after months of me telling her no and dismissing the idea. My siblings were also in the room and told me to calm tf down and said bro it's not that serious, bro chill, I wouldn't be mad if my name was changed and i was genuinely tweaking.

My mom told me to hurry up bc I had to renew my ID bc of the new name and/or it was going to expire soon so we had to go to the municipal building again. I can still remember how angry I was at her and my siblings, I was like do they not have empathy?? Cuz I think I would know how big of a deal it is... bc ur name is literally ur IDENTITY and you... Idk I just felt so betrayed that my own mother could do that and seem so goddamn happy and giddy about the fact she just crossed such a big boundary/line by her own child. I was fuming at the municipal office, I like gave her the cold shoulder and stuff and it was just very tense lmao between us, I feel bad for that office worker who helped us. Am I overreacting about it? We changed my name back to my og name a week or a couple days after that luckily bc my mom didn't realise how much paperwork changing a name actually takes. I don't know, whenever I told my oldest sister I was mad about it, she'd tell me I should have just made it more clear that I didn't want to change my name.. she told me I was always moping but that I had to clearly say no (which I did). And whenever I mention this to my friends they joke about it lightheartedly and it is funny ofc to look back on, but at the same time... I've realised this event has changed me and my mother's relationship, I'm still mad about it and at her. She's never apologised or acknowledged it ever since then and I don't think she ever will, I don't wanna bring it up bc I don't wanna spend my energy on it as I know it will drain me.

This is very long FOR WHICH I APOLOGISE, if u read all the way to the end, I just wanna say thank u so muchh!! and if u wanna share something that happened to u, I'll gladly read it

ETA: I had the new name for only a few days/weeks and this happened when I was 14. To clarify, with 'much paperwork' I meant my mom would have to change my name on all of my official documents (like bank docs, my Chinese ID (dual citizenship), etc), so it just became a nuisance for her. Which is why we changed it back to my original one.

Hi y'all, I'm 17 years old and I decided to read Fatherland after reading many positive things and recommendations on threads for my dutch speaking/oral exam (every junior has to read a book) and safe to say, I LOVED it. My new favorite book. I cried at the end. This is the first book I've read from Harris but definitely not the last and I got very attached to March and Charlie.

It's so excellently written, I'd recommend it to everyone. I personally really liked Harris’ writing style and the story & plot in general. The gruesome yet not sugarcoated details from the excerpts or columns (I think that's what it's called in English?) that were in Luther's bag made me sick. The part with Globo and the baseball bat, and just all the scenes with him and March towards the end of the book also made me wince and recoil. Also what the hell Max??? I know it's very complex and not black-and-white at all, but that plot twist had me. I don't know if I'm just slow but I had to reread the sentences where it was made clear Max was betraying March all along because my brain couldn't comprehend it at first.

10/10, definitely gonna reread. What did y'all think about it?