u/Fei_Mao

Shaken by this whole ordeal. In disbelief that such people exist. A married, covert narcissist partner poacher relentlessly pursued my bf. I have since come to learn that it's a pattern and she's constantly hitting on/or trying to poach taken men and is a huge advocate for cheating. I found out after my bf came clean cos she was getting psycho. He showed me all the text exchanges between them and clued me in on all that I was blissfully unaware of, was happening in my own relationship.

She was married and knew my bf was in a committed relationship too. They met through mutual friends and she portrayed herself to be harmless and shared that she was newly married, thus "safe" for my bf to platonically chat to when their paths crossed.

She saw all of our social media content in which bf publicly posted about our joint lives together and how much he treasured our relationship and on hindsight, I suspect that was the hook that got her determined to partner poach. She slowly but surely inserted herself into his life, despite him not being attracted to her at all but she was relentless in her pursuit.

She was sly - initially, she kept telling him how good i looked and how happy we looked together and that he and I were great together. This was a plot to get him to trust her and establish that she was "safe". When that was achieved, she switched her focus to him: she piled on the compliments about how great a partner he was, how handsome he was, etc., and how she wished her husband loved her the way that my bf loved me and how lucky I was. She then started to devalue me, insinuating that I likely was not appreciative of my bf enough and that I took him for granted. She said she'd never do that to him and if she were with him, she'd totally dote on him and love him better than I ever could.

While he had no attraction to her and didn't plan on nor ever wanted to end things with me, he was enjoying the attention and validation he got from her (I know.. and trust me, he's paying for that now but also working on fixing his issues). However, he was not keen on her being so enmeshed in his life. For him, her sole purpose was to boost his ego but hers seemed to be to isolate him from friends and family and get him to choose her over me. It was a one sided competition which I didn't even know I was a part of and her prize was to break us up.

When she started showing signs of possessiveness and intense jealousy, he snapped out of his stupor and tried to cut her off. But she'd turn up where he worked or if she knew he was gonna be some where by stalking his socials, she'd turn up there and act like it was a "coincidence". She kept giving him explicit signs that she wanted him. She'd keep acting like a damsel in distress and cried at the drop of a hat whenever he talked about me or how happy he was with me. She tried to play the victim card, position herself as being neglected by her husband "despite being a wonderful wife", and she also accused me of cheating my bf and made up lies about me to make him dislike me and doubt me.

That's when shit really hit the fan. He realised she was devious and desperately trying to split us up. He saw through her damsel act. He finally grew a pair and some brains and told her to get the eff out of our lives and she was not welcome and there was no room for her and her craziness. The covert narcissism showed up instantly with this rejection - she instantly lost interest, presented an unbothered, strong front, blamed him for "making use of her" and walked away with a certain coldness. No tears and no damsel in distress act this time as she realised it was not effective anymore. DARVO through and through.

The thrill of the chase of a taken person is what these partner poaching, homewrecker-wannabe narcs are after. When it becomes apparent that their attempts are futile, they move on to other supplies. The level of emotional manipulation we experienced was unbelievable... I'd never wanna cross paths with a covert narc ever again but if I do, I know the signs to look out for. Btw, I'm not at all absolving him of his own mistakes and stupidity and need for validation. This post is more to highlight the woman who thrives on bringing other women down.

Shaken by this whole ordeal. In disbelief that such people exist. A married, covert narcissist partner poacher relentlessly pursued my bf. I have since come to learn that it's a pattern and she's constantly hitting on/or trying to poach taken men and is a huge advocate for cheating. I found out after my bf came clean cos she was getting psycho. He showed me all the text exchanges between them and clued me in on all that I was blissfully unaware of, was happening in my own relationship.

She was married and knew my bf was in a committed relationship too. They met through mutual friends and she portrayed herself to be harmless and shared that she was newly married, thus "safe" for my bf to platonically chat to when their paths crossed.

She saw all of our social media content in which bf publicly posted about our joint lives together and how much he treasured our relationship and on hindsight, I suspect that was the hook that got her determined to partner poach. She slowly but surely inserted herself into his life, despite him not being attracted to her at all but she was relentless in her pursuit.

She was sly - initially, she kept telling him how good i looked and how happy we looked together and that he and I were great together. This was a plot to get him to trust her and establish that she was "safe". When that was achieved, she switched her focus to him: she piled on the compliments about how great a partner he was, how handsome he was, etc., and how she wished her husband loved her the way that my bf loved me and how lucky I was. She then started to devalue me, insinuating that I likely was not appreciative of my bf enough and that I took him for granted. She said she'd never do that to him and if she were with him, she'd totally dote on him and love him better than I ever could.

While he had no attraction to her and didn't plan on nor ever wanted to end things with me, he was enjoying the attention and validation he got from her (I know.. and trust me, he's paying for that now but also working on fixing his issues). However, he was not keen on her being so enmeshed in his life. For him, her sole purpose was to boost his ego but hers seemed to be to isolate him from friends and family and get him to choose her over me. It was a one sided competition which I didn't even know I was a part of and her prize was to break us up.

When she started showing signs of possessiveness and intense jealousy, he snapped out of his stupor and tried to cut her off. But she'd turn up where he worked or if she knew he was gonna be some where by stalking his socials, she'd turn up there and act like it was a "coincidence". She kept giving him explicit signs that she wanted him. She'd keep acting like a damsel in distress and cried at the drop of a hat whenever he talked about me or how happy he was with me. She tried to play the victim card, position herself as being neglected by her husband "despite being a wonderful wife", and she also accused me of cheating my bf and made up lies about me to make him dislike me and doubt me.

That's when shit really hit the fan. He realised she was devious and desperately trying to split us up. He saw through her damsel act. He finally grew a pair and some brains and told her to get the eff out of our lives and she was not welcome and there was no room for her and her craziness. The covert narcissism showed up instantly with this rejection - she instantly lost interest, presented an unbothered, strong front, blamed him for "making use of her" and walked away with a certain coldness. No tears and no damsel in distress act this time as she realised it was not effective anymore. DARVO through and through.

The thrill of the chase of a taken person is what these partner poaching, homewrecker-wannabe narcs are after. When it becomes apparent that their attempts are futile, they move on to other supplies. The level of emotional manipulation we experienced was unbelievable... I'd never wanna cross paths with a covert narc ever again but if I do, I know the signs to look out for.

Edit: Btw, I'm not at all absolving my bf of his own mistakes and stupidity and need for validation. He's working on those issues in therapy. This post is more to highlight the woman who thrives on destroying another woman's peace.

Shaken by this whole ordeal. In disbelief that such people exist. A married, covert narcissist partner poacher relentlessly pursued my bf. I have since come to learn that it's a pattern and she's constantly hitting on/or trying to poach taken men and is a huge advocate for cheating. I found out after my bf came clean cos she was getting psycho. He showed me all the text exchanges between them and clued me in on all that I was blissfully unaware of, was happening in my own relationship.

She was married and knew my bf was in a committed relationship too. They met through mutual friends and she portrayed herself to be harmless and shared that she was newly married, thus "safe" for my bf to platonically chat to when their paths crossed.

She saw all of our social media content in which bf publicly posted about our joint lives together and how much he treasured our relationship and on hindsight, I suspect that was the hook that got her determined to partner poach. She slowly but surely inserted herself into his life, despite him not being attracted to her at all but she was relentless in her pursuit.

She was sly - initially, she kept telling him how good i looked and how happy we looked together and that he and I were great together. This was a plot to get him to trust her and establish that she was "safe". When that was achieved, she switched her focus to him: she piled on the compliments about how great a partner he was, how handsome he was, etc., and how she wished her husband loved her the way that my bf loved me and how lucky I was. She then started to devalue me, insinuating that I likely was not appreciative of my bf enough and that I took him for granted. She said she'd never do that to him and if she were with him, she'd totally dote on him and love him better than I ever could.

While he had no attraction to her and didn't plan on nor ever wanted to end things with me, he was enjoying the attention and validation he got from her (I know.. and trust me, he's paying for that now but also working on fixing his issues). However, he was not keen on her being so enmeshed in his life. For him, her sole purpose was to boost his ego but hers seemed to be to isolate him from friends and family and get him to choose her over me. It was a one sided competition which I didn't even know I was a part of and her prize was to break us up.

When she started showing signs of possessiveness and intense jealousy, he snapped out of his stupor and tried to cut her off. But she'd turn up where he worked or if she knew he was gonna be some where by stalking his socials, she'd turn up there and act like it was a "coincidence". She kept giving him explicit signs that she wanted him. She'd keep acting like a damsel in distress and cried at the drop of a hat whenever he talked about me or how happy he was with me. She tried to play the victim card, position herself as being neglected by her husband "despite being a wonderful wife", and she also accused me of cheating my bf and made up lies about me to make him dislike me and doubt me.

That's when shit really hit the fan. He realised she was devious and desperately trying to split us up. He saw through her damsel act. He finally grew a pair and some brains and told her to get the eff out of our lives and she was not welcome and there was no room for her and her craziness. The covert narcissism showed up instantly with this rejection - she instantly lost interest, presented an unbothered, strong front, blamed him for "making use of her" and walked away with a certain coldness. No tears and no damsel in distress act this time as she realised it was not effective anymore. DARVO through and through.

The thrill of the chase of a taken person is what these partner poaching, homewrecker-wannabe narcs are after. When it becomes apparent that their attempts are futile, they move on to other supplies. The level of emotional manipulation we experienced was unbelievable... I'd never wanna cross paths with a covert narc ever again but if I do, I know the signs to look out for. I hope this helps anyone who may be dealing with such ppl.