u/Feisty-Hour7127

I'm a minor, well obviously by my pfp but I have a question. I know I'm mentally ill, I've had suicidal thoughts and have acted upon them (mostly threatening myself with a knife to my mom) and I have a very harsh background (abused ever since I was a few months old) but my mom refuses to acknowledge that I have mental problems.

Based on my own research, I think I have AuDHD, depression and bpd (I don't know yet, but I want to get it checked out). Most of my mental problems comes from school, family dynamic, years of being lied to by my mom and my mom herself. I suspect I have way more mental illness than the ones I just listed above, how do I convince my mom to take me to the hospital for a check up? She's a undiagnosed narcissist too so idk

If anything, I just want to get diagnosed either way. Either with my mom or without my mom. Actually, can I, as a minor, get diagnosis/treatment? My teachers asked me why I always ponteng once a day in a week and if my mom cared or not and ect..I think they know my situation or smth idk

Update 1: My school kaunselor just talked to me today, she said she's gonna help me change class since I told her my current class is too stressful and pressuring. She even gave a letter to the psychiatrist or something

What am I even doing with my life? There are too many voices inside of my head, I might actually just shoot myself in the head if this keeps going istg. I'm pathetic, all of my friends hate me and they don't even try to hide it. I told them that I wanted to harm myself but instead of comforting me and stuff they just laughed it off like it's some kind of sick joke. If someone else said the same thing they'd be concerned but if it was me, they wouldn't even bat an eye.

I truly have no one, I'm genuinely alone. Even if they comfort me, it's some half-assed paragraph about "oh me, (name) and (name) love you so don't kys!", it's the same thing over and over again. I've been a loner since SJKC until SMK and I JUST got into SMK and it's my 1st year. I'm a pathetic hikikomori otaku with no life.

Not only that, but I'm a passive smoker too. What am I doing? God, just take me already. It's so lonely in this world, why am I even born?

Even if I have someone to vent to, it's my mom and she'd say some bullshit about how she loves me and shit.. sometimes when I think of wanting to kms I keep thinking on how much she had spent on me and how she worked her ass off just for spoiled stupid me

Omds, what am I doing hahahahaaa

What do you call a genre of music that doesn't move, makes no sounds, doesn't talk and is around the world?

Rock.