When reality hits me of how ugly and wonky my face looks I get these feelings but never act on them. I’m also autistic so can’t even communicate properly and have no friends so I’m basically fcked and being ugly doesn’t help
I’m 21F and fed up, can’t decide if I want to die.
Other girls my age have friends, hobbies they can stick to, better jobs.. and I don’t. Whenever I post about my MH being bad on here I always get desperate me DMing me just bc I’m F when I’m not interested. I have no friends or support outside of my mum (who I’m so grateful for). But I’m autistic and have communication difficulties so I’m basically fcked for any kind of success.
I take fluoxetine 20mg but still wanting to never wake up sometimes. I’ve OD before on paracetamol but more as SH than an attempt but I’ve been thinking of doing it again even though it was traumatic for me. On the other hand I luckily still have days where I guess I’m happy and nothing matters. I hate my confusing brain and when reality hits. I don’t even need actual support from the GP or any MH team bc I’m not even in danger
Does anyone relate? Management obviously don’t care and lie when they claim to. I’m in a predicament whether to leave or stay, don’t want to go through being new all over again
Like I’m not diagnosed but I’ve genuinely had suicidal ideation because of my appearance a while ago but earlier today again. My parents accuse me of having body dysmorphia and a doctor sent me a link about it 2 years ago.
My face is genuinely lobsided and wonky- one nostril bigger, one cheek bigger, one eye bigger, one brow higher, forehead huge. I’ve tried to be more positive but I feel so ugly😭. Can it even be body dysmorphia if I’m correct in what I say?
I’ve been using my back camera everyday for over a year to get used to my face after refusing to look at it from that view my whole life. I literally had a breakdown after using the inverted filter.
I’m going to Greece with my mum as my late 21st bday present but now I’m worrying I’ll have no nice photos of myself there, feel insecure.