u/Few_Pineapple_1498

So i’ve had so many bad experiences with dating men as a trans man, what i usually do to avoid chasers/violent transphobes on dating apps is to not disclose it until the end of the first date and only like people who identify as bisexual or something similar. This ensures i can get a persons vibe as well as be able to quickly leave a situation if it goes wrong. I am very passing and prefer to live my public life stealth, many of my friends don’t even know i’m trans.

I met this guy on a dating app, we met at a halfway point which was a movie theater and sparked up conversation instantly. Nothing was awkward at all like previous dates i’ve been on from the same app. I snuck in snacks, we went to an art store after.

At the end, i told him about me being trans as well as a few other things that i said i wished i would have mentioned on prior dates to ensure compatibility.

He litterally did not care at all and just said that wouldn’t be a problem for him, i asked if he had any questions for me and he said no and that he still thinks im really cute and would like to go on more dates.

He also has the most fantastic personality of anyone i’ve ever met online and we are now planning our next date.

Biggest win in a while yall.

So for starters, all this info was me finding it myself, my mom believes dna tests are evil through conspiracy theories so all of my info has been 100% me and through certain apps that don’t have dna testing that have helped me.

So basically i started my tree simple, my parents and grandparents on one side are living so i used their information. So i was born into a german family (except my grandma she married in) i had their last name until i was 13 and was adopted. (saving the details but it was the best thing that ever happened to me)

So when i was little my grandma told me we were also french on her side but never said anything more than that , i brushed it off, now that ive been researching her side her father was litterally a 1st gen french immigrant and i never would have known if i didn’t research.

I was reached out to by a distant cousin who wanted to talk to my grandma because she’s the last of her siblings. I told her where i met this cousin and she agreed to speak with her.

After that she told me everything was right and she actually went to that part of france and experienced their life?

I’m not mad i’m more french than german, im just mad i spent all these years not knowing until my research and now i feel confused after leaning german for 6 years if i should have been learning french?

Ok so a few months ago i started having sleep paralysis. I never had it prior and it started out kind of mild but now it’s absolutely terrifying and happens a few times a month. I’m talking like a few weeks ago i watched a dark figure climb out of the crack of my bed and crawl over me to my other side and start breathing roughly in my ear. I’m always able to like yell but not words like just like an “uhhhhhhhhhh” because nothing else comes out and i can’t move. Last night i couldn’t sleep so i took a sleep aid im prescribed (i have insomnia). Right as it was kicking in and i fell asleep i got it again and like a deformed almost melted woman walked by my bed and then at the end of the bed started like hunching over and melting and screaming. Luckily these instances don’t last incredibly long but they absolutely terrify me and i don’t know how to deal with it. My mom has experienced it in the past but her stories have been so much worse and she eventually just stopped having it happen except very occasionally and i’m scared to bring it up because i don’t want her to feel like she genetically passed it to me because i have a few minor health issues she blamed herself for passing to me (insomnia but my other side has it too to the point my grandfather gets around 3 hours of sleep and the rest of the time sits in a chair in the dark because he’s afraid of dying i’ve seen him do it with my own eyes so i most likely didn’t 100% get it from her)

i don’t know how to minimize it and it scares me to sleep.