u/Few_Witness225

Soooo, I just finished everything for today!! Homework and all, weeeell, I mean not everything. I still have to tidy and get together a gift but apart from that everything’s allll done.

I have a huuugeeee headache I can’t seem to get rid of, it absolutely sucks. ☹️ but I’m not tired and I know I won’t be till round 1am, but yeah anyways

I would love to chat with someone. Like I really actually would. I’ve been looking for something long term for a loooong time, as you can probably tell from my account lol. Anyways, would love to hear from someone :3

So it’s 11pm and I have school tomorrow but I feel so fucking lonely I’m incredibly bored and I just feel, sad? I dunno.

think loneliness is one of those things people don’t take seriously until it’s all they can feel.

Like, people joke about being single, or say “you don’t need anyone,” and sure, independence matters and all thatbut no one really talks about what it’s like when you actually feel alone. Not just physically, but emotionally. Like there’s no one who really knows you, no one you can go to without overthinking everything first.

And I don’t mean I want constant attention or something fake. I mean I want something real. Something steady. Something that doesn’t disappear the second it gets hard or inconvenient.

Because that’s what I’ve been around for so long temporary people, temporary feelings. Conversations that feel deep in the moment and then mean nothing the next day. People who say they care, but only in ways that are easy for them.

And it gets exhausting.

I’m 15, and yeah, I know what people are gonna say. “You’re young,” “focus on yourself,” “it’ll come eventually.” I get it. I really do. But knowing that doesn’t magically fix the feeling of wanting someone now. Wanting to feel chosen, not just tolerated.

I don’t want to feel like I have to compete for basic attention. I don’t want to feel like I have to change parts of myself just to keep someone around. And I definitely don’t want to feel like the only reason I’m noticed is because of how I look.

I want someone to stay.

Not in a dramatic, forever way. Just…stay long enough to actually know me. To understand how my mind works, how I overthink, how I care more than I should sometimes. I want conversations that don’t feel forced. I want silence that isn’t awkward. I want something that feels safe instead of confusing.

Because right now, everything feels kind of empty.

Like I’m giving energy into places that don’t give it back. Like I’m trying to build connections with people who were never really planning to stay in the first place. And I keep telling myself to stop, to be more careful, to not get attached so easilybut it’s hard when all you really want is to feel close to someone.

And I know I should be okay on my own. I’m trying to be. I’m trying to learn how to sit with myself without feeling like something’s missing. But if I’m being honest, it still feels like something is.

I don’t think it’s wrong to want a real relationship. Not something perfect, not something out of a movie just something genuine. Something where you don’t feel like you’re guessing all the time. Something where you’re not questioning if you matter.

Because I want to matter to someone. In a real way.

And maybe I don’t have that right now. Maybe it’s going to take time, maybe it won’t come when I want it to. But that doesn’t make the feeling any less real.

So if you feel like this too like you’re surrounded by people but still somehow alone I get it. I really do.

And I hope one day we both find the kind of connection that doesn’t make us feel like we’re asking for too much just by wanting something real.

(I apologize if my posts seem kind of bot like, I don’t mean them too, I just simply want them to get a bit more traction)

think loneliness is one of those things people don’t take seriously until it’s all they can feel.

Like, people joke about being single, or say “you don’t need anyone,” and sure, independence matters and all thatbut no one really talks about what it’s like when you actually feel alone. Not just physically, but emotionally. Like there’s no one who really knows you, no one you can go to without overthinking everything first.

And I don’t mean I want constant attention or something fake. I mean I want something real. Something steady. Something that doesn’t disappear the second it gets hard or inconvenient.

Because that’s what I’ve been around for so long temporary people, temporary feelings. Conversations that feel deep in the moment and then mean nothing the next day. People who say they care, but only in ways that are easy for them.

And it gets exhausting.

I’m 15, and yeah, I know what people are gonna say. “You’re young,” “focus on yourself,” “it’ll come eventually.” I get it. I really do. But knowing that doesn’t magically fix the feeling of wanting someone now. Wanting to feel chosen, not just tolerated.

I don’t want to feel like I have to compete for basic attention. I don’t want to feel like I have to change parts of myself just to keep someone around. And I definitely don’t want to feel like the only reason I’m noticed is because of how I look.

I want someone to stay.

Not in a dramatic, forever way. Just…stay long enough to actually know me. To understand how my mind works, how I overthink, how I care more than I should sometimes. I want conversations that don’t feel forced. I want silence that isn’t awkward. I want something that feels safe instead of confusing.

Because right now, everything feels kind of empty.

Like I’m giving energy into places that don’t give it back. Like I’m trying to build connections with people who were never really planning to stay in the first place. And I keep telling myself to stop, to be more careful, to not get attached so easilybut it’s hard when all you really want is to feel close to someone.

And I know I should be okay on my own. I’m trying to be. I’m trying to learn how to sit with myself without feeling like something’s missing. But if I’m being honest, it still feels like something is.

I don’t think it’s wrong to want a real relationship. Not something perfect, not something out of a movie just something genuine. Something where you don’t feel like you’re guessing all the time. Something where you’re not questioning if you matter.

Because I want to matter to someone. In a real way.

And maybe I don’t have that right now. Maybe it’s going to take time, maybe it won’t come when I want it to. But that doesn’t make the feeling any less real.

So if you feel like this too like you’re surrounded by people but still somehow alone I get it. I really do.

And I hope one day we both find the kind of connection that doesn’t make us feel like we’re asking for too much just by wanting something real.

(I apologize if my posts seem kind of bot like, I don’t mean them too, I just simply want them to get a bit more traction)

I think loneliness is one of those things people don’t take seriously until it’s all they can feel.

Like, people joke about being single, or say “you don’t need anyone,” and sure, independence matters and all thatbut no one really talks about what it’s like when you actually feel alone. Not just physically, but emotionally. Like there’s no one who really knows you, no one you can go to without overthinking everything first.

And I don’t mean I want constant attention or something fake. I mean I want something real. Something steady. Something that doesn’t disappear the second it gets hard or inconvenient.

Because that’s what I’ve been around for so long temporary people, temporary feelings. Conversations that feel deep in the moment and then mean nothing the next day. People who say they care, but only in ways that are easy for them.

And it gets exhausting.

I’m 15, and yeah, I know what people are gonna say. “You’re young,” “focus on yourself,” “it’ll come eventually.” I get it. I really do. But knowing that doesn’t magically fix the feeling of wanting someone now. Wanting to feel chosen, not just tolerated.

I don’t want to feel like I have to compete for basic attention. I don’t want to feel like I have to change parts of myself just to keep someone around. And I definitely don’t want to feel like the only reason I’m noticed is because of how I look.

I want someone to stay.

Not in a dramatic, forever way. Just…stay long enough to actually know me. To understand how my mind works, how I overthink, how I care more than I should sometimes. I want conversations that don’t feel forced. I want silence that isn’t awkward. I want something that feels safe instead of confusing.

Because right now, everything feels kind of empty.

Like I’m giving energy into places that don’t give it back. Like I’m trying to build connections with people who were never really planning to stay in the first place. And I keep telling myself to stop, to be more careful, to not get attached so easilybut it’s hard when all you really want is to feel close to someone.

And I know I should be okay on my own. I’m trying to be. I’m trying to learn how to sit with myself without feeling like something’s missing. But if I’m being honest, it still feels like something is.

I don’t think it’s wrong to want a real relationship. Not something perfect, not something out of a movie just something genuine. Something where you don’t feel like you’re guessing all the time. Something where you’re not questioning if you matter.

Because I want to matter to someone. In a real way.

And maybe I don’t have that right now. Maybe it’s going to take time, maybe it won’t come when I want it to. But that doesn’t make the feeling any less real.

So if you feel like this too like you’re surrounded by people but still somehow alone I get it. I really do.

And I hope one day we both find the kind of connection that doesn’t make us feel like we’re asking for too much just by wanting something real.

(I apologize if my posts seem kind of bot like, I don’t mean them too, I just simply want them to get a bit more traction)

So, it’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and this is something we should actually be talking about. Not just in May, but all year. It’s honestly sad that we don’t. It’s sad how quick people are to shut others down just for feeling things deeply. Like…that’s not fair, is it? Imagine if someone did that to you. You wouldn’t feel good about it. And that’s the thin..when you’re struggling, when everything inside you feels heavy and overwhelming, sometimes all you need is someone to just be there. Even if it’s quiet.

It’s also sad how people kind of put mentally ill people into this tiny box, like they’re not allowed to be anything outside of it. Like I always say, everyone is worth it. Always. And I want to share part of my story, not because it’s easy, but because maybe someone will see it and realize it is worth it to keep going, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

I’m 15, my name’s Alessandra. I guess it kind of starts when I was around 6. I’ve always been the “chubby” kid. My sibling was always super skinny, always dancing, always getting praised at family gatherings. And I tried too, I really did. But my dad would say things like, “you’re too big to be doing all that.” Maybe he meant my age, but that’s not how it felt. And after that, the comments just kept coming. I was 6. I didn’t control what I ate. I just ate what I was given, I didn’t complain I mean I didn’t know any better, and no one really taught me.

The comments and that feeling stuck with me until I was around 9. That’s when I got access to the internet. At first, it was just workout videos, constantly. I did lose weight, but not in a healthy way. And eventually, I gained it back. Then I changed schools, got more into social media, and ended up around people who…weren’t good for me. But I stayed because it made me feel loved. It felt like the only way I could be loved. Because in my head, my body was disgusting.

They would compliment me though. And then things got worse. I got hurt by someone my age. After that, everything just spiraled. More pictures, more people, more nights crying because I didn’t know how else to feel okay about myself unless I was giving people what they wanted.

And yeah, I knew it was wrong. I did. But at the same time, it made me feel seen, and that’s hard to walk away from. I’ve felt sexualized by so many people in my life, and it hurt it rlly did but it also confused me, because part of me felt like that was the only kind of “love” I could get.

I changed schools again. Got into relationships. And it kind of repeated itself being seen more for my body than for me. I left one because I felt like I was “too much.” Another left me for the same reason. And honestly, maybe we were all just kids trying to figure things out.

I’ve also been in the psych ward twice. And it wasn’t what I needed. It didn’t fix things. I’m still dealing with everything, even now. I’m trying to stop old habits. I really am. I’m trying to learn how to connect with people in a real way, not just for validation. But it’s hard when that’s all you’ve known for so long.

I want love. Real love. Not something based on my body just …love for who I am. I want to learn patience, with myself and with others. I want to respect myself. I want to know that I matter, not just say it. And at the same time, I know everyone else matters too.

That’s why we shouldn’t put people into boxes or ignore what they’re going through. Leaving someone alone with their thoughts doesn’t help it just makes everything louder.

I’m still struggling. I’m not “fully okay.” But I’m trying. And I think that counts for something.

So yeah..every story matters. No matter how “small” you think it is. Your feelings matter. You matter. Speak up. Check on people. Even if things aren’t okay right now, maybe one day they will be. Slowly, piece by piece.

You are so loved. You matter. Don’t be scared to speak up.

And if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. I really am. I just want real connection. Maybe I won’t find that here, maybe I will..but it’s worth trying.

Have a beautiful day.

So, it’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and this is something we should actually be talking about. Not just in May, but all year. It’s honestly sad that we don’t. It’s sad how quick people are to shut others down just for feeling things deeply. Like…that’s not fair, is it? Imagine if someone did that to you. You wouldn’t feel good about it. And that’s the thin..when you’re struggling, when everything inside you feels heavy and overwhelming, sometimes all you need is someone to just be there. Even if it’s quiet.

It’s also sad how people kind of put mentally ill people into this tiny box, like they’re not allowed to be anything outside of it. Like I always say, everyone is worth it. Always. And I want to share part of my story, not because it’s easy, but because maybe someone will see it and realize it is worth it to keep going, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

I’m 15, my name’s Alessandra. I guess it kind of starts when I was around 6. I’ve always been the “chubby” kid. My sibling was always super skinny, always dancing, always getting praised at family gatherings. And I tried too, I really did. But my dad would say things like, “you’re too big to be doing all that.” Maybe he meant my age, but that’s not how it felt. And after that, the comments just kept coming. I was 6. I didn’t control what I ate. I just ate what I was given, I didn’t complain I mean I didn’t know any better, and no one really taught me.

The comments and that feeling stuck with me until I was around 9. That’s when I got access to the internet. At first, it was just workout videos, constantly. I did lose weight, but not in a healthy way. And eventually, I gained it back. Then I changed schools, got more into social media, and ended up around people who…weren’t good for me. But I stayed because it made me feel loved. It felt like the only way I could be loved. Because in my head, my body was disgusting.

They would compliment me though. And then things got worse. I got hurt by someone my age. After that, everything just spiraled. More pictures, more people, more nights crying because I didn’t know how else to feel okay about myself unless I was giving people what they wanted.

And yeah, I knew it was wrong. I did. But at the same time, it made me feel seen, and that’s hard to walk away from. I’ve felt sexualized by so many people in my life, and it hurt it rlly did but it also confused me, because part of me felt like that was the only kind of “love” I could get.

I changed schools again. Got into relationships. And it kind of repeated itself being seen more for my body than for me. I left one because I felt like I was “too much.” Another left me for the same reason. And honestly, maybe we were all just kids trying to figure things out.

I’ve also been in the psych ward twice. And it wasn’t what I needed. It didn’t fix things. I’m still dealing with everything, even now. I’m trying to stop old habits. I really am. I’m trying to learn how to connect with people in a real way, not just for validation. But it’s hard when that’s all you’ve known for so long.

I want love. Real love. Not something based on my body just …love for who I am. I want to learn patience, with myself and with others. I want to respect myself. I want to know that I matter, not just say it. And at the same time, I know everyone else matters too.

That’s why we shouldn’t put people into boxes or ignore what they’re going through. Leaving someone alone with their thoughts doesn’t help it just makes everything louder.

I’m still struggling. I’m not “fully okay.” But I’m trying. And I think that counts for something.

So yeah..every story matters. No matter how “small” you think it is. Your feelings matter. You matter. Speak up. Check on people. Even if things aren’t okay right now, maybe one day they will be. Slowly, piece by piece.

You are so loved. You matter. Don’t be scared to speak up.

And if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. I really am. I just want real connection. Maybe I won’t find that here, maybe I will..but it’s worth trying.

Have a beautiful day.

Im probably being silly but it makes me super upset that I’ll see all these videos online of all these sweet sweet couples. Couples in person, long distance couples, online couples. And it seems like they are so so in love, and it only makes me thing about the fact that that’s all I’ve ever wanted. For so long. For someone to love me for me, not my body, yk? And I mean, when you’ve faught for that for so long you learn to be patient, really really patient. Tho I know it doesn’t seem like it with how much I post.

I am patient though. More than ever, and I love myself, but I don’t wanna be called a whore anymore, I don’t wanna be identified as such simply because of the fact that I don’t know how to get love anymore. It’s sad. It really really is. And like I said, perhaps it’s silly to search for these things instead of letting them come to you, but you get to terms with the fact that you may never have it, that’s when you search, that’s when you put effort in.

Perhaps, I mean, I guess u should always put effort in, effort is important, but u should never diminish your self worth simply because you can’t fin someone to love you for you. And that sounds stupid to say because I don’t apply it to myself, but that’s beside the point yk? I just want the love in the videos ykwim? I do, I really really do. I want to be loved so so badly. And maybe one day I’ll get that, maybe not. And that’s okay too.

Anyways, remember it’s mental health awareness month my loves! Never be afraid to reach out, you matter so much more than whatever you think. And your problems matter, if it’s affecting you it’s worth speaking up about, always. You matter, and your sorroubdings matter too. Check up on ur family and friends, no matter how ok they may seem.

I’m open to chatting with anyone, mwaaah! Hope to hear from u guys 💗

Im probably being silly but it makes me super upset that I’ll see all these videos online of all these sweet sweet couples. Couples in person, long distance couples, online couples. And it seems like they are so so in love, and it only makes me thing about the fact that that’s all I’ve ever wanted. For so long. For someone to love me for me, not my body, yk? And I mean, when you’ve faught for that for so long you learn to be patient, really really patient. Tho I know it doesn’t seem like it with how much I post.

I am patient though. More than ever, and I love myself, but I don’t wanna be called a whore anymore, I don’t wanna be identified as such simply because of the fact that I don’t know how to get love anymore. It’s sad. It really really is. And like I said, perhaps it’s silly to search for these things instead of letting them come to you, but you get to terms with the fact that you may never have it, that’s when you search, that’s when you put effort in.

Perhaps, I mean, I guess u should always put effort in, effort is important, but u should never diminish your self worth simply because you can’t fin someone to love you for you. And that sounds stupid to say because I don’t apply it to myself, but that’s beside the point yk? I just want the love in the videos ykwim? I do, I really really do. I want to be loved so so badly. And maybe one day I’ll get that, maybe not. And that’s okay too.

Anyways, remember it’s mental health awareness month my loves! Never be afraid to reach out, you matter so much more than whatever you think. And your problems matter, if it’s affecting you it’s worth speaking up about, always. You matter, and your sorroubdings matter too. Check up on ur family and friends, no matter how ok they may seem.

I’m open to chatting with anyone, mwaaah! Hope to hear from u guys 💗

Im probably being silly but it makes me super upset that I’ll see all these videos online of all these sweet sweet couples. Couples in person, long distance couples, online couples. And it seems like they are so so in love, and it only makes me thing about the fact that that’s all I’ve ever wanted. For so long. For someone to love me for me, not my body, yk? And I mean, when you’ve faught for that for so long you learn to be patient, really really patient. Tho I know it doesn’t seem like it with how much I post.

I am patient though. More than ever, and I love myself, but I don’t wanna be called a whore anymore, I don’t wanna be identified as such simply because of the fact that I don’t know how to get love anymore. It’s sad. It really really is. And like I said, perhaps it’s silly to search for these things instead of letting them come to you, but you get to terms with the fact that you may never have it, that’s when you search, that’s when you put effort in.

Perhaps, I mean, I guess u should always put effort in, effort is important, but u should never diminish your self worth simply because you can’t fin someone to love you for you. And that sounds stupid to say because I don’t apply it to myself, but that’s beside the point yk? I just want the love in the videos ykwim? I do, I really really do. I want to be loved so so badly. And maybe one day I’ll get that, maybe not. And that’s okay too.

Anyways, remember it’s mental health awareness month my loves! Never be afraid to reach out, you matter so much more than whatever you think. And your problems matter, if it’s affecting you it’s worth speaking up about, always. You matter, and your sorroubdings matter too. Check up on ur family and friends, no matter how ok they may seem.

I’m open to chatting with anyone, mwaaah! Hope to hear from u guys 💗

Hi guys! Hope everyone’s having an AWESOME day

I have been absolutely exhausted which is terrible. And I’ve been having really bad headaches, and I don’t know why. I wish I did I mean I think it’s because I’ve been binging and not coping properly, as in, I haven’t been regressing as much as I usually do. Which isn’t great, because I love regressing, I mean, it makes me feel good. Tho I probably shouldn’t be nitpicking on who I talk too on Reddit or looking for comfort on here, I should start finding comfort in myself, tho, it’s often quite hard for me to do so. I dunno why. Also Reddit is weird, I mean ofc it is, it’s the internet but like, people will ghost, people will sexualize and it’s just a lot some times. Then you’d probably think to yourself ‘oh then why are u here then’. Simple, I’m bored, I really truly wanna make a REAL connection. Tho, maybe that’s asking for too much, as I said it is the internet after all. Hmm..but perhaps, who knows.

I post a ton anyways too, so might as well try, right? Maybe I’ll find someone who loves me as much as I love myself. Not for my body, but for me, the real me. We’ll see. I’ve learned to be patient, very patient, because I know it’ll be ok, no matter what. I’ve got time and I’m growing. My life will be as beautiful as I make it.

Happy mental health awareness month my loves! Never feel scared to reach out, you matter and your problems matter too no matter how small you think they may be, if it’s affecting you, it’s worth speaking up. You have a beautiful life you deserve to live to the fullest. Do so.

I’m open to chatting with anyone :3 MWAAAH BYE LOVELIES

Hi guys! Hope everyone’s having an AWESOME day

I have been absolutely exhausted which is terrible. And I’ve been having really bad headaches, and I don’t know why. I wish I did I mean I think it’s because I’ve been binging and not coping properly, as in, I haven’t been regressing as much as I usually do. Which isn’t great, because I love regressing, I mean, it makes me feel good. Tho I probably shouldn’t be nitpicking on who I talk too on Reddit or looking for comfort on here, I should start finding comfort in myself, tho, it’s often quite hard for me to do so. I dunno why. Also Reddit is weird, I mean ofc it is, it’s the internet but like, people will ghost, people will sexualize and it’s just a lot some times. Then you’d probably think to yourself ‘oh then why are u here then’. Simple, I’m bored, I really truly wanna make a REAL connection. Tho, maybe that’s asking for too much, as I said it is the internet after all. Hmm..but perhaps, who knows.

I post a ton anyways too, so might as well try, right? Maybe I’ll find someone who loves me as much as I love myself. Not for my body, but for me, the real me. We’ll see. I’ve learned to be patient, very patient, because I know it’ll be ok, no matter what. I’ve got time and I’m growing. My life will be as beautiful as I make it.

Happy mental health awareness month my loves! Never feel scared to reach out, you matter and your problems matter too no matter how small you think they may be, if it’s affecting you, it’s worth speaking up. You have a beautiful life you deserve to live to the fullest. Do so.

I’m open to chatting with anyone :3 MWAAAH BYE LOVELIES

Hi guys! Hope everyone’s having an AWESOME day

I have been absolutely exhausted which is terrible. And I’ve been having really bad headaches, and I don’t know why. I wish I did I mean I think it’s because I’ve been binging and not coping properly, as in, I haven’t been regressing as much as I usually do. Which isn’t great, because I love regressing, I mean, it makes me feel good. Tho I probably shouldn’t be nitpicking on who I talk too on Reddit or looking for comfort on here, I should start finding comfort in myself, tho, it’s often quite hard for me to do so. I dunno why. Also Reddit is weird, I mean ofc it is, it’s the internet but like, people will ghost, people will sexualize and it’s just a lot some times. Then you’d probably think to yourself ‘oh then why are u here then’. Simple, I’m bored, I really truly wanna make a REAL connection. Tho, maybe that’s asking for too much, as I said it is the internet after all. Hmm..but perhaps, who knows.

I post a ton anyways too, so might as well try, right? Maybe I’ll find someone who loves me as much as I love myself. Not for my body, but for me, the real me. We’ll see. I’ve learned to be patient, very patient, because I know it’ll be ok, no matter what. I’ve got time and I’m growing. My life will be as beautiful as I make it.

Happy mental health awareness month my loves! Never feel scared to reach out, you matter and your problems matter too no matter how small you think they may be, if it’s affecting you, it’s worth speaking up. You have a beautiful life you deserve to live to the fullest. Do so.

I’m open to chatting with anyone :3 MWAAAH BYE LOVELIES

HIII ok so, despite my last post my days started kinda iffy, i mean, it’s..weird..i dunno.

I am absolutely EXHAUSTED. I’ve been sleeping super early these past few days yet wake up terribly tired and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not eating properly, I mean maybe so. Which sucks, bc I’m really tryna recover from binging, but it just doesn’t happen for me.

Anyways, I’ve also been struggling a bit with my age regression, which also sucks, but I mean, it’s fine I guess, I dunno.

I’m just overall tired. I reeeeaaally would love to talk to someone, anyone. I’m available like, ALL day. Sooooo feel free to reach out :3

HIII ok so, despite my last post my days started kinda iffy, i mean, it’s..weird..i dunno.

I am absolutely EXHAUSTED. I’ve been sleeping super early these past few days yet wake up terribly tired and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not eating properly, I mean maybe so. Which sucks, bc I’m really tryna recover from binging, but it just doesn’t happen for me.

Anyways, I’ve also been struggling a bit with my age regression, which also sucks, but I mean, it’s fine I guess, I dunno.

I’m just overall tired. I reeeeaaally would love to talk to someone, anyone. I’m available like, ALL day. Sooooo feel free to reach out :3

HIII ok so, despite my last post my days started kinda iffy, i mean, it’s..weird..i dunno.

I am absolutely EXHAUSTED. I’ve been sleeping super early these past few days yet wake up terribly tired and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not eating properly, I mean maybe so. Which sucks, bc I’m really tryna recover from binging, but it just doesn’t happen for me.

Anyways, I’ve also been struggling a bit with my age regression, which also sucks, but I mean, it’s fine I guess, I dunno.

I’m just overall tired. I reeeeaaally would love to talk to someone, anyone. I’m available like, ALL day. Sooooo feel free to reach out :3

I’ve been having a really really hard time with my age regression, like it’s been sitting on me heavier than usual and I can’t just ignore it. I keep thinking about how badly I just want someone to talk to pr someone who actually understands what this is like instead of making me explain every little thing or feeling like I’m too much. It’s been so hard trying to find a caregiver liek genuinely draining because it feels like I’m always searching and hoping and it never really works out, and every time it doesn’t it just leaves this bigger empty space. Which absolutely suchks. My soul aches for one in a way that’s hard to put into words, like a deep, constant longing, and my little self feels it even more, like it’s always reaching for comfort and not finding it. It’s not just a small want, it’s something that feels so important to me, and not having it makes everything feel heavier. I just wanna be able to be little for days on end and know I’ll be taken care of, like really taken care of, without worrying about having to come back to everything so quickly or handle things on my own. That’s probably sounds stupid but it’s true I want to feel safe enough to stay in that space, to relax into it instead of feeling like I have to keep one foot out at all times. I want someone there who understands, who’s consistent, who makes me feel secure and not alone, someone who notices when I’m struggling and doesn’t just disappear. And maybe that sounds silly or unrealistic, maybe it sounds like too much to want from someone, but it doesn’t feel that way to me. It just feels like something my heart keeps asking for over and over again, and not having it is starting to hurt more than I expected. I know it probably sounds silly (well I know it does) to want something like this, especially from people on the internet, and I’m not oblivious to how dangerous that can be either. I know there are risks, I know not everyone has good intentions, and I know I should be focusing on myself instead of looking for comfort in someone else like this. I’ve told myself that over and over again, tried to be independent, tried to just deal with everything on my own and not need it so much. But even knowing all of that doesn’t make the feeling go away. It doesn’t stop the ache or the exhaustion that comes with constantly holding everything together by myself. I’ve tried to push through it, to ignore it, to be “strong” about it, but right now I just feel worn down, like I don’t have the energy to keep fighting it the same way. And more than anything, I just need to breathe, to not feel like everything is so tight and overwhelming for a moment, to just exist without carrying all of this at once.

Anywayyyss..

I just really wanna talk to people right now, like actually talk real conversations where I don’t feel like I have to hide parts of myself. I want people to feel free to talk too, like they don’t have to hold back or pretend everything’s fine, because I get how hard that can be.I just want that feeling of connection, of not being alone in my thoughts for a little while, and knowing someone else is there, listening and sharing too.

Sooo..feel free to reach out :3

I’ve been having a really really hard time with my age regression, like it’s been sitting on me heavier than usual and I can’t just ignore it. I keep thinking about how badly I just want someone to talk to pr someone who actually understands what this is like instead of making me explain every little thing or feeling like I’m too much. It’s been so hard trying to find a caregiver liek genuinely draining because it feels like I’m always searching and hoping and it never really works out, and every time it doesn’t it just leaves this bigger empty space. Which absolutely suchks.

My soul aches for one in a way that’s hard to put into words, like a deep, constant longing, and my little self feels it even more, like it’s always reaching for comfort and not finding it. It’s not just a small want, it’s something that feels so important to me, and not having it makes everything feel heavier. I just wanna be able to be little for days on end and know I’ll be taken care of, like really taken care of, without worrying about having to come back to everything so quickly or handle things on my own.

That’s probably sounds stupid but it’s true I want to feel safe enough to stay in that space, to relax into it instead of feeling like I have to keep one foot out at all times. I want someone there who understands, who’s consistent, who makes me feel secure and not alone, someone who notices when I’m struggling and doesn’t just disappear. And maybe that sounds silly or unrealistic, maybe it sounds like too much to want from someone, but it doesn’t feel that way to me. It just feels like something my heart keeps asking for over and over again, and not having it is starting to hurt more than I expected. I know it probably sounds silly (well I know it does) to want something like this, especially from people on the internet, and I’m not oblivious to how dangerous that can be either. I know there are risks, I know not everyone has good intentions, and I know I should be focusing on myself instead of looking for comfort in someone else like this.

I’ve told myself that over and over again, tried to be independent, tried to just deal with everything on my own and not need it so much. But even knowing all of that doesn’t make the feeling go away. It doesn’t stop the ache or the exhaustion that comes with constantly holding everything together by myself. I’ve tried to push through it, to ignore it, to be “strong” about it, but right now I just feel worn down, like I don’t have the energy to keep fighting it the same way. And more than anything, I just need to breathe, to not feel like everything is so tight and overwhelming for a moment, to just exist without carrying all of this at once.

Anywayyyss..

I just really wanna talk to people right now, like actually talk real conversations where I don’t feel like I have to hide parts of myself. I want people to feel free to talk too, like they don’t have to hold back or pretend everything’s fine, because I get how hard that can be.I just want that feeling of connection, of not being alone in my thoughts for a little while, and knowing someone else is there, listening and sharing too.

Sooo..feel free to reach out :3

it’s been weighing on me more than I expected, like my regression is something that’s part of me but I don’t always feel like I have a safe place for it to exist, and that makes everything harder than it should be. sometimes I can handle it on my own, but other times I just feel really small and overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do with those feelings, and that’s when it hits me how much I wish I had a caregiver, not in some perfect or unrealistic way, just someone steady who actually understands and doesn’t make me feel weird about it. but trying to find someone like that is so frustrating, because either people don’t take it seriously or they act like they understand but don’t really show up in a way that feels safe or consistent, and that just makes it harder to trust anyone at all. I end up holding a lot of it in, trying to manage everything by myself, even when I don’t really have the energy to, and it gets lonely in a way that’s hard to explain, like I’m dealing with something really vulnerable but there’s no one I can fully let into that space. and I don’t think people realize that it’s not just about wanting attention or something simple like that, it’s about needing comfort and stability during moments where everything feels too big, and not having that can make those moments feel even more overwhelming. I keep hoping I’ll eventually find someone who gets it, someone I don’t have to over-explain myself to, but right now it just feels like I’m stuck between wanting that support and not knowing where to find it, and that in-between feeling is honestly really exhausting.