Why cant I move on. Im sick of it i hate being like this.im disgusting and i should die. I hate that I exist. Im a freak and a mentally ill shut in loser. I cant do anything useful amd i hope it ends for me.
My life sucks. I am a loser with no friends and a shitty job. I receive litte to no attention from people other then family and colleagues. Met someone online and I fell in love with her but I am obsessed and it isnt healthy so I had to leave. Everything is going wrong and I feel like dying. Its all i think about. I cant do this anymore, I cant be a loser anymore it has to end please. I dont care how i just want into stop. I want to stop thinking and feel nothing. I feel anxious all the time and depressed. Please help me.
Im sorry ☹️ i love you so much. I understand why it will never work and that we love differently but it hurts. I think about you every second of everyday and just, wonder if you're ok or not. I hope you are. I wish I could be enough for you, I really do. Everything about you is perfect, from head to toes. I love your beautiful lips and dark eyes, your adorable nose and warm smile, your pretty dark hair and the way you dress, your voice and all those adorable expressions you make. But its more then just physical appearance that I love. Your creativity, work ethic, confidence, social skills, your different perspective on things and how you just dont give up, your goals in life and how much you feel for other people. I am madly in love with you. If im being honest though im kinda obsessed too ☹️which isnt healthy. Im selfish and a piece of garbage for doing this ik but I have no other options. I cant get over you cause everytime I see you i fall harder for you.
I know you'll probably move on and forget me but I want you to know i love you and will love you forever. If you're reading this rn i want you to know i love you more then anyone. Im sorry 🌹
I feel like a mentally ill freak with no life. No friends just existing and being worthless. I want to lay here and just starve to death. Gonna be living alone in a few days so ill finally have the chance to end it without traumatising someone else, just counting down the days now. I dont deserve friends i am a loser. Part of me hopes the few people i talk to online ghost me because i really dont deserve them. I am depressing, selfish and boring. My family knows I am worthless too which sucks. Im sure they would do better without me. Gonna use the week to mentally prepare myself i think. Goodbye