Hey guys, I opened spotify for the first time and have multiple premium features (free skips, DJ) i was skipping for a while a few minutes before a made this post, getting no ads until i caught this. I have yet to have paid for premium and i'm very confused, is this a promo?
This is my first time posting on this forum and my first time finding out about this disorder. Since I was a kid I noticed I was ALWAYS sensitive to small noises like humming, signing, tapping noises, and chewing. At that age, I used to act out, going into an entire fit and breaking down crying. I used to be called dramatic, or to just ignore it, but I never could. To make matters worse, I also had tinnitus, where I would go nights where I couldn't sleep or have to cry myself to sleep because of the constant ringing in my ears. Growing up, always being in a classroom full of noisy children the agitating noise of a pencil tapping on the table, someone humming to themself, or even someone whispering would send me to completely shut down and just cry.
In my household, I lived with my grandmother, who would ALWAYS hum. And being the undiagnosed, unmedicated child I was, I would lash out at her, having arguments about how her humming sparked genuine rage inside of me. Now, she's became way more understanding and does it way less (at least around me). I can't say the same for company, as when something like that happens, I have to just hide in another room, still hearing it in the back of head as I cry.
I understand this probably sound so dramatic but I'm on the vacation right now with about six people. One of the women here keep CONSTANTLY humming and I just have to distance myself from her all the time but it just seems like she always wants ti be next to me. And like I said, I don't mean to be dramatic, but it has completely ruined my vacation. I have to always check that shes not near me or I will break down. I have been counting down the three days left of my twelve day vacation. I fully believe I have misophonia and it ruins my life because I feel like I'm going crazy while everyone around me is normal.
This is just a rant I wanted to get off my chest because I've only talked about this with a teacher who confronted me about it because she assumed I had really sensitive ears and shared her experience with it. But I understand now that it is a more than just being 'sensitive'. I feel pure rage and genuinely want to hurt myself. I tend to scratch myself, leaving scars, pulling my hair off, wanting to rip my ears off or banging my head against a hard surface to hear anything other than the sounds.
I remember seeing this lime-greenish chibi thing with a straight face. It has no real defining features and I usually see it as a figurine