u/Financial_Method7793

a friend of mine got into a car accident (they were driving) where the other part ended up with some fractures. i don’t know much but the police have to keep him under arrest for up to 48 hours. is there any possibility for this person to get out before those 48 hours and if so how can they do it?

hi i’m 23f. i’ve been living with my mom, brother, grandma and more family members all in one house since always. me and my mom never had issues like what im about to talk about until we moved out, grandma passed and my brother moved out. we live in a apartment just us two, 3 beds, 2 baths.

i’ve noticed she’s not used to cleaning. she rarely washes her dishes or even puts them away/in the sink. she rarely cleans (i sweep, wash the floors, kitchen, common areas, my bathroom, my bedroom and my studio ( i wfh)). i don’t see her do her laundry often or wash her towels/floor towel.

this has over time caused me to get very tired, angry and frustrated for many reasons. first, it doesn’t matter how much I clean there’s always something dirty/disorganized. second, she cooks and gets grease/condiments all over the counter (which is fine cause it’s part of cooking) but she never cleans the counter as she goes and it always has flies or ants. third, every single time i’m doing my laundry she casually asks if i can put some of her pieces with my clothes so i eventually end up doing all of her laundry. forth, when it happens that she does the dishes like pots and pans they’re poorly done (still got grease, oil).

this of course wouldn’t be an issue if I didn’t do anything and just lived here but that is not the case. I have a full time job and of course having to do most of the house chores by myself is extremely tiring (she only cooks). like i can’t enjoy all of my weekend because i’ll spent at least one whole day cleaning.

i’ve tried talking to her about it but she says that she has a job and she’s tired but so do i. and i still have time to clean as i go. i’ve asked her to do the same because it’s the only way the house doesn’t get super dirty and when i do the full cleanse during the weekend it doesn’t take me 30 minutes just to clean the kitchen.

this has been going on for months, cause me to feel extremely bad and tired, spending a lot of time cleaning and not being able to have friends come over unplanned because the house is dirty and it’s honestly embarrassing. and she’s gotten super angry for me asking her the same thing for months so she’ll yell at me and we’ll fight a lot

given all this i’ve decided to move out, however i feel really bad cause im scared she’ll neglect herself and end up in a very poorly way. i’m scared this feeling will eventually stop me from moving out.

is there any approach i could take to get her to do what i’ve been asking?

i’ve also spoken with my therapist about and she told me to just not do it anymore and let her notice how bad it gets if i don’t do anything or just wash my own dishes/my own laundry and clean only my spaces.

summary/tdlr: i live with my mom. ive realized that she rarely cleans, leaves dirty dishes, doesn't tidy up after cooking, and often relies on me to do the laundry and most household chores. Although both work full-time, i ends up cleaning almost the entire apartment every weekend, leaving me exhausted and frustrated. i’ve repeatedly talked to my mother about sharing responsibilities, but she says she's too tired from work, and these conversations usually turn into arguments. The situation has become so overwhelming that ive decided to move out, but l feel guilty because im afraid my mother won't take care of herself. my therapist has suggested that l stop cleaning up after her and only take care of my own spaces so she can experience the consequences of her own behavior.