u/Fineasskelia

Hey everyone. My original post got a massive amount of traction a few days ago, and a lot has happened since then. Many of you told me that she doesn't care and to just hang it up. You guys were right. We haven't spoken, and she has completely iced out both me and my kids. She won't even react to pictures of her grandkids on socials, though the algorithm proves she's lurking on my page waiting to see if I expose her. She even stayed silent on the phone when my sister visited my house and told her she was with my boys. She doesn't care, and honestly? That’s fine. I have my answer.
But the biggest update is that I had a massive, emotional heart-to-heart with my grandmother (who I call Ma, because she has always been my real mother).
I had previously posted a TikTok reacting to toxic mom videos that mirrored my childhood. Out of respect for Ma, I took it down because she saw it and was deeply hurt and shocked. She told me, "Kelia, this is some dark stuff." It turns out my mom had been watering down the abuse to her for years—claiming she only pulled our hair because we "swung on her" or that it was standard discipline.
Ma couldn't make an excuse for my mom chaining the fridge—she knew that was flat-out wrong—but she truly didn't know the extent of the rest. I understand why Ma didn't see it before; when you love your child, you want to see the best in them. But the biggest lie exposed was this: My mom tried to tell me that Ma felt I was a burden and didn't want me calling her for everything.
Ma was absolutely heartbroken to hear this. She told me she never said that, and that she is incredibly happy I come to her. My mom tried to completely fabricate a lie to make me feel isolated, lonely, and rejected by the one stable maternal figure I have. My hypothesis? My mom felt neglected by her own mother, so she tried to force that exact same psychological trauma onto me. The hypocrisy is wild, considering my 40-year-old mother lives with Ma and relies on her to help pay her bills, while I can't even ask my mom for a Big Mac without her watching me starve while she feeds my kids.
I now realize my mom takes every opportunity of miscommunication and turns it into a malicious plot to make people feel isolated. She did it to Ma's new husband, Mr. Clyde, running a smear campaign to our uncle claiming Mr. Clyde was trying to "intrude" on Mother's Day and "one-up" gifts—even though my mom was the one picking the gifts out for him to buy! She did it to my sister on Thanksgiving, turning the whole family against her for "entertainment" while I was stuck working to keep my job.
And speaking of my sister, what my mom did during her recent delivery is unforgivable. This pregnancy was supposed to be a peaceful, healing experience for my sister after a history of incredibly stressful, difficult times. It was also her partner's very first child. My sister dilated incredibly fast, but my mom convinced her she wasn't in active labor and told her to text her boyfriend and tell him not to come yet. Why? Because after the baby was born, my mom bragged that "some people just weren't meant to be in the hospital," exposing that she sabotaged the father losing the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see his first child born just so she could have the narcissistic privilege of being the only one there.
Then, she proceeded to dump all her relationship drama and mommy issues onto my sister while she was literally trying to heal from childbirth. When we have problems, my mom claims the "negativity is too much for her lupus," but she has no problem bringing pure negativity to a postpartum room.
She even tried to sabotage my sister's baby's health. She bought a bulk supply of preemie formula from a friend, but the baby isn't a preemie and kept violently throwing it up. When my sister asked around for the correct formula, my mom cussed her out for "wasting money." I stepped in and bought the right formula myself. Ma offered to pay me back, but my sister caught my mom whispering in the background, begging Ma not to pay me back just so I wouldn't get the $20.
My mom loves to set these petty, passive-aggressive traps. She tried it at Mother's Day dinner at Golden Corral, trying to publicly make it look like I ignored one of the kids' plates. I caught it instantly and told her flat out: "I'm not doing this with you." She shut up because she didn't expect me to address it calmly and maturely. She tried it again by hogging the shower for an hour until the water was freezing, then lying out of her mouth saying she "didn't know I needed to wash," not realizing Ma was sitting right there shaking her head.
My mom is currently on Facebook playing the victim, posting about "fake love" without naming names because she knows her spot is hot and she'll get called out on her garbage.
I’m done. My sister is seeing the truth and is ready to go no-contact. Ma knows the truth. I am a 20-something-year-old dealing with a middle-school bully who happens to be my biological mother. Thank you to everyone who gave me the courage to stand my ground.

Hey everyone. My original post got a massive amount of traction a few days ago, and a lot has happened since then. Many of you told me that she doesn't care and to just hang it up. You guys were right. We haven't spoken, and she has completely iced out both me and my kids. She won't even react to pictures of her grandkids on socials, though the algorithm proves she's lurking on my page waiting to see if I expose her. She even stayed silent on the phone when my sister visited my house and told her she was with my boys. She doesn't care, and honestly? That’s fine. I have my answer.
But the biggest update is that I had a massive, emotional heart-to-heart with my grandmother (who I call Ma, because she has always been my real mother).
I had previously posted a TikTok reacting to toxic mom videos that mirrored my childhood. Out of respect for Ma, I took it down because she saw it and was deeply hurt and shocked. She told me, "Kelia, this is some dark stuff." It turns out my mom had been watering down the abuse to her for years—claiming she only pulled our hair because we "swung on her" or that it was standard discipline.
Ma couldn't make an excuse for my mom chaining the fridge—she knew that was flat-out wrong—but she truly didn't know the extent of the rest. I understand why Ma didn't see it before; when you love your child, you want to see the best in them. But the biggest lie exposed was this: My mom tried to tell me that Ma felt I was a burden and didn't want me calling her for everything.
Ma was absolutely heartbroken to hear this. She told me she never said that, and that she is incredibly happy I come to her. My mom tried to completely fabricate a lie to make me feel isolated, lonely, and rejected by the one stable maternal figure I have. My hypothesis? My mom felt neglected by her own mother, so she tried to force that exact same psychological trauma onto me. The hypocrisy is wild, considering my 40-year-old mother lives with Ma and relies on her to help pay her bills, while I can't even ask my mom for a Big Mac without her watching me starve while she feeds my kids.
I now realize my mom takes every opportunity of miscommunication and turns it into a malicious plot to make people feel isolated. She did it to Ma's new husband, Mr. Clyde, running a smear campaign to our uncle claiming Mr. Clyde was trying to "intrude" on Mother's Day and "one-up" gifts—even though my mom was the one picking the gifts out for him to buy! She did it to my sister on Thanksgiving, turning the whole family against her for "entertainment" while I was stuck working to keep my job.
And speaking of my sister, what my mom did during her recent delivery is unforgivable. This pregnancy was supposed to be a peaceful, healing experience for my sister after a history of incredibly stressful, difficult times. It was also her partner's very first child. My sister dilated incredibly fast, but my mom convinced her she wasn't in active labor and told her to text her boyfriend and tell him not to come yet. Why? Because after the baby was born, my mom bragged that "some people just weren't meant to be in the hospital," exposing that she sabotaged the father losing the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see his first child born just so she could have the narcissistic privilege of being the only one there.
Then, she proceeded to dump all her relationship drama and mommy issues onto my sister while she was literally trying to heal from childbirth. When we have problems, my mom claims the "negativity is too much for her lupus," but she has no problem bringing pure negativity to a postpartum room.
She even tried to sabotage my sister's baby's health. She bought a bulk supply of preemie formula from a friend, but the baby isn't a preemie and kept violently throwing it up. When my sister asked around for the correct formula, my mom cussed her out for "wasting money." I stepped in and bought the right formula myself. Ma offered to pay me back, but my sister caught my mom whispering in the background, begging Ma not to pay me back just so I wouldn't get the $20.
My mom loves to set these petty, passive-aggressive traps. She tried it at Mother's Day dinner at Golden Corral, trying to publicly make it look like I ignored one of the kids' plates. I caught it instantly and told her flat out: "I'm not doing this with you." She shut up because she didn't expect me to address it calmly and maturely. She tried it again by hogging the shower for an hour until the water was freezing, then lying out of her mouth saying she "didn't know I needed to wash," not realizing Ma was sitting right there shaking her head.
My mom is currently on Facebook playing the victim, posting about "fake love" without naming names because she knows her spot is hot and she'll get called out on her garbage.
I’m done. My sister is seeing the truth and is ready to go no-contact. Ma knows the truth. I am a 20-something-year-old dealing with a middle-school bully who happens to be my biological mother. Thank you to everyone who gave me the courage to stand my ground.

Hey everyone. My original post got a massive amount of traction a few days ago, and a lot has happened since then. Many of you told me that she doesn't care and to just hang it up. You guys were right. We haven't spoken, and she has completely iced out both me and my kids. She won't even react to pictures of her grandkids on socials, though the algorithm proves she's lurking on my page waiting to see if I expose her. She even stayed silent on the phone when my sister visited my house and told her she was with my boys. She doesn't care, and honestly? That’s fine. I have my answer.
But the biggest update is that I had a massive, emotional heart-to-heart with my grandmother (who I call Ma, because she has always been my real mother).
I had previously posted a TikTok reacting to toxic mom videos that mirrored my childhood. Out of respect for Ma, I took it down because she saw it and was deeply hurt and shocked. She told me, "Kelia, this is some dark stuff." It turns out my mom had been watering down the abuse to her for years—claiming she only pulled our hair because we "swung on her" or that it was standard discipline.
Ma couldn't make an excuse for my mom chaining the fridge—she knew that was flat-out wrong—but she truly didn't know the extent of the rest. I understand why Ma didn't see it before; when you love your child, you want to see the best in them. But the biggest lie exposed was this: My mom tried to tell me that Ma felt I was a burden and didn't want me calling her for everything.
Ma was absolutely heartbroken to hear this. She told me she never said that, and that she is incredibly happy I come to her. My mom tried to completely fabricate a lie to make me feel isolated, lonely, and rejected by the one stable maternal figure I have. My hypothesis? My mom felt neglected by her own mother, so she tried to force that exact same psychological trauma onto me. The hypocrisy is wild, considering my 40-year-old mother lives with Ma and relies on her to help pay her bills, while I can't even ask my mom for a Big Mac without her watching me starve while she feeds my kids.
I now realize my mom takes every opportunity of miscommunication and turns it into a malicious plot to make people feel isolated. She did it to Ma's new husband, Mr. Clyde, running a smear campaign to our uncle claiming Mr. Clyde was trying to "intrude" on Mother's Day and "one-up" gifts—even though my mom was the one picking the gifts out for him to buy! She did it to my sister on Thanksgiving, turning the whole family against her for "entertainment" while I was stuck working to keep my job.
And speaking of my sister, what my mom did during her recent delivery is unforgivable. This pregnancy was supposed to be a peaceful, healing experience for my sister after a history of incredibly stressful, difficult times. It was also her partner's very first child. My sister dilated incredibly fast, but my mom convinced her she wasn't in active labor and told her to text her boyfriend and tell him not to come yet. Why? Because after the baby was born, my mom bragged that "some people just weren't meant to be in the hospital," exposing that she sabotaged the father losing the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see his first child born just so she could have the narcissistic privilege of being the only one there.
Then, she proceeded to dump all her relationship drama and mommy issues onto my sister while she was literally trying to heal from childbirth. When we have problems, my mom claims the "negativity is too much for her lupus," but she has no problem bringing pure negativity to a postpartum room.
She even tried to sabotage my sister's baby's health. She bought a bulk supply of preemie formula from a friend, but the baby isn't a preemie and kept violently throwing it up. When my sister asked around for the correct formula, my mom cussed her out for "wasting money." I stepped in and bought the right formula myself. Ma offered to pay me back, but my sister caught my mom whispering in the background, begging Ma not to pay me back just so I wouldn't get the $20.
My mom loves to set these petty, passive-aggressive traps. She tried it at Mother's Day dinner at Golden Corral, trying to publicly make it look like I ignored one of the kids' plates. I caught it instantly and told her flat out: "I'm not doing this with you." She shut up because she didn't expect me to address it calmly and maturely. She tried it again by hogging the shower for an hour until the water was freezing, then lying out of her mouth saying she "didn't know I needed to wash," not realizing Ma was sitting right there shaking her head.
My mom is currently on Facebook playing the victim, posting about "fake love" without naming names because she knows her spot is hot and she'll get called out on her garbage.
I’m done. My sister is seeing the truth and is ready to go no-contact. Ma knows the truth. I am a 20-something-year-old dealing with a middle-school bully who happens to be my biological mother. Thank you to everyone who gave me the courage to stand my ground.

I (24F) am currently cutting my mother out of my life for the third time, and this time it is permanent. I am a mom to two young sons now, and after a recent conversation triggered a panic attack so severe my medication barely touched it, I realized I have to protect my kids and my own sanity.
People keep telling me "but she's your mother," so I want to lay out the history from top to bottom to see if I am genuinely losing my mind, or if this is the only logical choice left.
Early Childhood & The "Boot Camps"
Growing up, my mother was physically and emotionally abusive. We would get beaten for the smallest things, like spilling juice. She instituted "boot camps" where my sister and I were stripped of toys, TV, and the right to go outside. My sister has autism and ADHD; because she couldn't conform to my mom's rigid control, my mom would physically fight her. My sister was later diagnosed with a plethora of conditions (psychosis, bipolar 2)—honestly, I think because her brain couldn't tolerate the childhood abuse.
There was always a rotating door of men. When my mom argued with her boyfriends, she took her hatred out on us. Our stepfather had a severe drinking problem and couldn't keep the lights on; he literally drank away my sister's disability checks. We moved constantly—never staying anywhere longer than two years. My mom always claimed it was a "mold issue" or wanting a "change of environment," but as an adult, I found out the truth: we moved every time CPS was called on her.
By intermediate school, I was severely bullied. My mom always had her hair and nails professionally done, while my sister and I wore "talking shoes" with holes in them and high-water pants. She told other adults we just "didn't know how to take care of things." If it weren't for our grandmother buying us clothes and styling our hair, we would have had nothing.
Teenage Years, Medical Neglect, & Animal Cruelty
As we got older, the beatings evolved. She went from punching our backs to swinging us around by our braids. She would take us to get tight box braids, and the moment she got mad, she’d grab us by the braids and swing us. It caused me severe traction alopecia; I am 24 and only just now growing my edges back.
The cruelty extended to our pets, too. When we moved into my late grandfather's house, we had three dogs. When our small dog Mickey passed away, my mom forced my sister to throw his corpse into the garbage can. When our big dog Buddy passed, she tried to force me to throw garbage into his outdoor kennel where his body was. It was horrific.
Cut-Off #1: The Court Case & Betrayal
The first time I cut her off was after my biological father attempted to sexually assault me during a family trip around Halloween. I managed to run away, and the police later found cocaine and a gun in his hotel room.
When it came time for the trial, my mother refused to show up for me. She went to work instead. She never checked on my mental health, and instead grew furious with me because I was "angry at the world" and she "couldn't deal with it." I didn't know how else I was supposed to feel. I left to live with a best friend and developed a severe drinking problem just trying to cope with the trauma.
Cut-Off #2: Expired Food & Extended Homelessness
Eventually, I had to move back, and the fighting escalated until my best friend’s mom took me in. I bounced around houses and didn't speak to my mother.
Meanwhile, the abuse at home was so severe that my sister ran away at 14. She ended up incarcerated for two years, and when her 16th birthday approached, she purposely committed infractions to stay locked up until she was 18, because she knew juvenile detention was safer than living with our mother.
When my sister turned 18, we ended up homeless on the streets. Starving and desperate for a stable address to get food stamps, we reached out to my mom to do a joint case. Instead of giving us the EBT card or ordering us groceries, she cleared out her freezer and deep freezer and gave us expired food and drinks. We only realized it when we drank it, noticed a bizarre chemical taste, and checked the expiration dates. I went no-contact again.
The Final Straw
I broke the silence when I got pregnant with my oldest son. I just wanted a mother to be there with me for that milestone. Things were superficially "okay" until recently.
I am now diagnosed with chronic PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and bipolar 2. I tried to have a transparent conversation with her about why I carry these diagnoses. Instead of showing an ounce of accountability, she looked me in the eye and blamed everything on me. She claimed I was just a "bad child," that I "hated her," and that I wanted to make her life hell. (For context: I was a good kid, never got in trouble at school, and when I did occasionally act out, my teachers pulled me aside to comfort me because they knew my home life was a disaster).
Hearing her deny reality triggered a massive, chronic panic attack. My prescription hydroxyzine barely touched it. I realized right then that keeping this woman in my life is a threat to my health. I have two sons to raise, and I cannot risk having a total emotional breakdown because I am trying to force a relationship with a monster.
I’m cutting her off for the third and final time.
Advice?

I (24F) am currently cutting my mother out of my life for the third time, and this time it is permanent. I am a mom to two young sons now, and after a recent conversation triggered a panic attack so severe my medication barely touched it, I realized I have to protect my kids and my own sanity.
People keep telling me "but she's your mother," so I want to lay out the history from top to bottom to see if I am genuinely losing my mind, or if this is the only logical choice left.
**Early Childhood & The "Boot Camps"**
Growing up, my mother was physically and emotionally abusive. We would get beaten for the smallest things, like spilling juice. She instituted "boot camps" where my sister and I were stripped of toys, TV, and the right to go outside. My sister has autism and ADHD; because she couldn't conform to my mom's rigid control, my mom would physically fight her. My sister was later diagnosed with a plethora of conditions (psychosis, bipolar 2)—honestly, I think because her brain couldn't tolerate the childhood abuse.
There was always a rotating door of men. When my mom argued with her boyfriends, she took her hatred out on us. Our stepfather had a severe drinking problem and couldn't keep the lights on; he literally drank away my sister's disability checks. We moved constantly—never staying anywhere longer than two years. My mom always claimed it was a "mold issue" or wanting a "change of environment," but as an adult, I found out the truth: we moved every time CPS was called on her.
By intermediate school, I was severely bullied. My mom always had her hair and nails professionally done, while my sister and I wore "talking shoes" with holes in them and high-water pants. She told other adults we just "didn't know how to take care of things." If it weren't for our grandmother buying us clothes and styling our hair, we would have had nothing.
**Teenage Years, Medical Neglect, & Animal Cruelty**
As we got older, the beatings evolved. She went from punching our backs to swinging us around by our braids. She would take us to get tight box braids, and the moment she got mad, she’d grab us by the braids and swing us. It caused me severe traction alopecia; I am 24 and only just now growing my edges back.
The cruelty extended to our pets, too. When we moved into my late grandfather's house, we had three dogs. When our small dog Mickey passed away, my mom forced my sister to throw his corpse into the garbage can. When our big dog Buddy passed, she tried to force me to throw garbage into his outdoor kennel where his body was. It was horrific.
**Cut-Off #1: The Court Case & Betrayal**
The first time I cut her off was after my biological father attempted to sexually assault me during a family trip around Halloween. I managed to run away, and the police later found cocaine and a gun in his hotel room.
When it came time for the trial, my mother refused to show up for me. She went to work instead. She never checked on my mental health, and instead grew furious with me because I was "angry at the world" and she "couldn't deal with it." I didn't know how else I was supposed to feel. I left to live with a best friend and developed a severe drinking problem just trying to cope with the trauma.
**Cut-Off #2: Expired Food & Extended Homelessness**
Eventually, I had to move back, and the fighting escalated until my best friend’s mom took me in. I bounced around houses and didn't speak to my mother.
Meanwhile, the abuse at home was so severe that my sister ran away at 14. She ended up incarcerated for two years, and when her 16th birthday approached, she purposely committed infractions to *stay* locked up until she was 18, because she knew juvenile detention was safer than living with our mother.
When my sister turned 18, we ended up homeless on the streets. Starving and desperate for a stable address to get food stamps, we reached out to my mom to do a joint case. Instead of giving us the EBT card or ordering us groceries, she cleared out her freezer and deep freezer and gave us expired food and drinks. We only realized it when we drank it, noticed a bizarre chemical taste, and checked the expiration dates. I went no-contact again.
**The Final Straw**
I broke the silence when I got pregnant with my oldest son. I just wanted a mother to be there with me for that milestone. Things were superficially "okay" until recently.
I am now diagnosed with chronic PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and bipolar 2. I tried to have a transparent conversation with her about why I carry these diagnoses. Instead of showing an ounce of accountability, she looked me in the eye and blamed everything on me. She claimed I was just a "bad child," that I "hated her," and that I wanted to make her life hell. (For context: I was a good kid, never got in trouble at school, and when I did occasionally act out, my teachers pulled me aside to comfort me because they knew my home life was a disaster).
Hearing her deny reality triggered a massive, chronic panic attack. My prescription hydroxyzine barely touched it. I realized right then that keeping this woman in my life is a threat to my health. I have two sons to raise, and I cannot risk having a total emotional breakdown because I am trying to force a relationship with a monster.
I’m cutting her off for the third and final time. AITA?