u/FirmResponsibility10

So the past couple years I just feel numb to physical touch. I’m this way with my bf and his children and now I’m this way with my parents brothers and nephews. I live 8 hrs from family and when it’s time to visit I’ll think about how I can’t wait to hug my mom and dad because I miss them so much. When the time comes though I just don’t feel like the normal joy or feelings or whatever from that contact like I had hoped. With my bf i love him and all that he’s great to me but it’s the same I don’t find joy out of hugs and cuddling things of the sort. I can’t think about things and I get feelings from that but when it real I don’t at all. Same with the kids they love me so much and I love them but I find no joy or comfort hugging them. Don’t get me wrong we have good times. We laugh and play and stuff I just have no physical reaction to anything. I often wonder if everyone can feel that I don’t feel anything from given affection idk 🤷🏻‍♀️. A good example- I had a horrible bout of anxiety after a hospital stay in February. I couldn’t barely talk to my mom on the phone without hysterically crying trying to explain my anxiety and how I was feeling. Anyway my bf packed up the boys and brought me home and the whole time I just couldn’t wait to hug my mom and I just knew I would cry and be a disaster the minute I did but I got there hugged her and no feeling of comfort relief nothing just blank. There’s times I’ve went back home without my bf and can’t wait to get back and hug him and snuggle etc and I get back and feel nothing physically. I don’t know why. I do struggle with a lot of anxiety and other things of the sort so maybe it’s related. All I really know is if I hugged someone and actually felt something I would shatter into a million pieces and probably break down instantly.

I’m leaving for vacation and I’ve had my starter good and strong for 3 months. Do I feed it and then put it in the fridge immediately? I don’t want to lose another starter!

Is this a sign that it’s going away? It was very mild with only burning first thing in the mornings. Started d-mannose the very first day it happened and was positive for nitrates and leukocytes then. Now only trace leukocytes. I’m hoping it’s working because I really don’t want antibiotics again. I’ve had problems with utis since August of last year. They seem to come back after about 2 weeks. I had sepsis from a kidney stone in February and hadn’t had a uti again until the 20th of April took 5 days of keflex and now it came back 3 days ago. Burning is gone now with the d-mannose tho still frequent urination in the mornings tho.