u/Firm_Cranberry_7469

I know that if you have problems with mostly everyone you know, it’s probably an internal problem. I definitely overthink, but sometimes I don’t know if I’m overthinking because of insecurities or if what I’m thinking is actually right.

For example, I have this close friend who I’ve been friends with for so long, but we’ve recently drifted apart. Every now and then we text each other to hang out, but it never happens, and sometimes it’s because they reply really late and leave me on delivered. It confuses me because they seem super excited when they text me, but then they suddenly start replying late.

And there was one time when we were supposed to hang out in a few hours, but they suddenly said they might not be able to go. So I asked them to let me know, but they left me on delivered until the next day. This really confuses me because I really like being friends with them, but it’s also like, at this age (18-19), everyone knows what they’re doing. Like, this is disrespectful, no?

And I do try to invest less energy, but then I’m like, what if I’m missing out and self-sabotaging by distancing myself from them without communicating? But I also don’t want to be vulnerable and seem sensitive by asking them directly.

I even have problems with my best friend where I feel like they don’t really treat me like they care about me, but then I’ll get occasional texts or TikToks saying they really appreciate me.

And what I really want is friends who are emotionally mature and considerate, and who also want to go out and have fun. Right now, it feels like I only have friends who are either one or the other, not both. Like, for example, someone who likes to go clubbing but also isn’t the type of person who cares about unnecessary drama, is self-aware, and isn’t low vibrational (doesn’t say the n-word).

Like, I feel like everyone has no depth, or maybe I just don’t click with them.

Like, what do I doooo? Is it really just me who has problems, or the people around me, or a mix of both?

And obviously childhood trauma and experiences are a big factor in this because I used to be a happy child, but I got bullied, and my mum was also super stressed because of work. But she's fine now, but occasionally still gets really stressed, and I've also kind of moved on from the bullying, but It does make me scared of being judged.

And I’ve been walking a lot to get my steps in and get vitamin D from the sun, but I guess I still sleep really late because it’s hard to sleep.

And I can be confident but still scared to look weird. Like I know I should work on myself and mindset and stuff first but I feel like if i'm surrounded by the right people (subjective), then I'd be super content but it's also like you can't ignore the present just to wish for a better future but idk.

It used to be super quick for me to get really, really close to someone, but now I don't like opening myself up and wasting energy on people.

And I just graduated from pre-uni college and will join uni next year so like I'm alone at home (but i still interact with my mum's workers and sister's friends, but it's not the same as interacting with "my" own friends)

I also find it hard to express myself correctly, so I'm sorry if this is too messy, and I hope I haven't posted this to the wrong subreddit.

I know that if you have problems with mostly everyone you know, it’s probably an internal problem. I definitely overthink, but sometimes I don’t know if I’m overthinking because of insecurities or if what I’m thinking is actually right.

For example, I have this close friend who I’ve been friends with for so long, but we’ve recently drifted apart. Every now and then we text each other to hang out, but it never happens, and sometimes it’s because they reply really late and leave me on delivered. It confuses me because they seem super excited when they text me, but then they suddenly start replying late.

And there was one time when we were supposed to hang out in a few hours, but they suddenly said they might not be able to go. So I asked them to let me know, but they left me on delivered until the next day. This really confuses me because I really like being friends with them, but it’s also like, at this age (18-19), everyone knows what they’re doing. Like, this is disrespectful, no?

And I do try to invest less energy, but then I’m like, what if I’m missing out and self-sabotaging by distancing myself from them without communicating? But I also don’t want to be vulnerable and seem sensitive by asking them directly.

I even have problems with my best friend where I feel like they don’t really treat me like they care about me, but then I’ll get occasional texts or TikToks saying they really appreciate me.

And what I really want is friends who are emotionally mature and considerate, and who also want to go out and have fun. Right now, it feels like I only have friends who are either one or the other, not both. Like, for example, someone who likes to go clubbing but also isn’t the type of person who cares about unnecessary drama, is self-aware, and isn’t low vibrational (doesn’t say the n-word).

Like, I feel like everyone has no depth, or maybe I just don’t click with them.

Like, what do I doooo? Is it really just me who has problems, or the people around me, or a mix of both?

And obviously childhood trauma and experiences are a big factor in this because I used to be a happy child, but I got bullied, and my mum was also super stressed because of work. But she's fine now, but occasionally still gets really stressed, and I've also kind of moved on from the bullying, but It does make me scared of being judged.

And I’ve been walking a lot to get my steps in and get vitamin D from the sun, but I guess I still sleep really late because it’s hard to sleep.

And I can be confident but still scared to look weird. Like I know I should work on myself and mindset and stuff first but I feel like if i'm surrounded by the right people (subjective), then I'd be super content but it's also like you can't ignore the present just to wish for a better future but idk.

It used to be super quick for me to get really, really close to someone, but now I don't like opening myself up and wasting energy on people.

And I just graduated from pre-uni college and will join uni next year so like I'm alone at home (but i still interact with my mum's workers and sister's friends, but it's not the same as interacting with "my" own friends)

I also find it hard to express myself correctly, so I'm sorry if this is too messy, and I hope I haven't posted this to the wrong subreddit.

I know that if you have problems with mostly everyone you know, it’s probably an internal problem. I definitely overthink, but sometimes I don’t know if I’m overthinking because of insecurities or if what I’m thinking is actually right.

For example, I have this close friend who I’ve been friends with for so long, but we’ve recently drifted apart. Every now and then we text each other to hang out, but it never happens, and sometimes it’s because they reply really late and leave me on delivered. It confuses me because they seem super excited when they text me, but then they suddenly start replying late.

And there was one time when we were supposed to hang out in a few hours, but they suddenly said they might not be able to go. So I asked them to let me know, but they left me on delivered until the next day. This really confuses me because I really like being friends with them, but it’s also like, at this age (18-19), everyone knows what they’re doing. Like, this is disrespectful, no?

And I do try to invest less energy, but then I’m like, what if I’m missing out and self-sabotaging by distancing myself from them without communicating? But I also don’t want to be vulnerable and seem sensitive by asking them directly.

I even have problems with my best friend where I feel like they don’t really treat me like they care about me, but then I’ll get occasional texts or TikToks saying they really appreciate me.

And what I really want is friends who are emotionally mature and considerate, and who also want to go out and have fun. Right now, it feels like I only have friends who are either one or the other, not both. Like, for example, someone who likes to go clubbing but also isn’t the type of person who cares about unnecessary drama, is self-aware, and isn’t low vibrational (doesn’t say the n-word).

Like, I feel like everyone has no depth, or maybe I just don’t click with them.

Like, what do I doooo? Is it really just me who has problems, or the people around me, or a mix of both?

And obviously childhood trauma and experiences are a big factor in this because I used to be a happy child, but I got bullied, and my mum was also super stressed because of work. But she's fine now, but occasionally still gets really stressed, and I've also kind of moved on from the bullying, but It does make me scared of being judged.

And I’ve been walking a lot to get my steps in and get vitamin D from the sun, but I guess I still sleep really late because it’s hard to sleep.

And I can be confident but still scared to look weird. Like I know I should work on myself and mindset and stuff first but I feel like if i'm surrounded by the right people (subjective), then I'd be super content but it's also like you can't ignore the present just to wish for a better future but idk.

It used to be super quick for me to get really, really close to someone, but now I don't like opening myself up and wasting energy on people.

And I just graduated from pre-uni college and will join uni next year so like I'm alone at home (but i still interact with my mum's workers and sister's friends, but it's not the same as interacting with "my" own friends)

I also find it hard to express myself correctly, so I'm sorry if this is too messy, and I hope I haven't posted this to the wrong subreddit.