u/First-Bed-5918

There are 2 influencers in particular who just won't stop talking about this sub.

- Eli Vogel

-Hope in Hindy

They are taking it easy too seriously and don't seem to understand that becoming an influencer also means that they are opening themselves to scrutiny. They're also bringing more people to the sub.

Who else would you add to the list? I was going to add Golda, but she is all over the place and isn't any more obsessed with this sub than anything else she posts about. I'd say maybe Malka, but she'd be secretly obsessive and won't share it.

I'm so angry with this. Why are little kids being encouraged to travel away from home in the name of Chasidishkeit. This is what happens when you have a lack of supervision. The amount of Israeli and European kids who hang around Crown Heights for Tishrei. They stay and eat at strangers. Drink without supervision. This whole culture is so unsafe.

She has become more and more unhinged over the years. She has now become an AI slop machine. Does anyone know her personally? Do people actually take her seriously?

When she first surfaced, I felt sympathy for her. Being outed as a trans woman, as well as being a convert and losing her job because of it was wrong. She seemed genuinely invested in frum life, but was never accepted.

Since discovering that she is intersex, she has used her platform to fuel transphobic rhetoric. She seems to accept the way she was treated and, rather than pushing back against the transphobic narrative surrounding what happened to her, has publicly shared that she is intersex and that the rabbis ruled that she is a woman.

To me, she comes across as a hateful person who is desperate to fit into a hateful space where she will never truly be accepted, no matter how badly she wants to be.

Ok, I'll get ready for tomatoes to be thrown my way, but this has been pricking my brain for a while, and I'm curious to hear the thoughts of others.

As a disclaimer, I value everyone from the team, from domestics to porters to pharmacists to the MDT, and treat them with kindness and understanding as they deserve. I believe that everyone is run off their feet and don't think anyone is taking the mickey. I have very hardworking colleagues who all do their best.

As someone who has been an HCA and now a nurse for a number of years, I hate when nurses get lumped into the same category as HCAs, porters l, housekeepers and domestics. You cannot compare the level of responsibility and accountability we face. An HCA typically leaves the shift on time (often early during handover, as their day is over) and can leave their job within seconds for someone to take over, whether they're being moved to another ward or have an escort job. A nurse cannot just do that. There is always documentation, handovers and responsibilities they must ensure for the safety of a patient.

When I see comments online saying "it's the domestics/HCAs/porters who keep the place together", it feels so dismissive. There are plenty of times when we are short of a domestic, porter or HCA and we suddenly have those responsibilities on top of our own. This isn't to put down or belittle other roles. I was an HCA myself and really understand the level of work that goes into it, but please do not ever lump us together. I feel that the general public are quick to do that.

They go by what they see. They don't see all the behind-the-scenes work that goes on for a nurse. Or the hours we stay late. Or the breaks that we miss. It's very easy to think that the HCAs are working harder as they are more front-facing and able to assist with the most basic needs. As a nurse, I miss those times when all I could do was give a patient their tea, sit with them or wash them.

But when there is talk of paying nurses more or giving them more recognition, there always seem to be people saying that it's the HCAs who keep it together!

Fact is, we can (barely and dangerously) manage a shift with just nurses, but we cannot manage a shift without nurses.

Please don't put our profession down. We work and trained damn hard for it, and it feels like a slap in the face when that is ignored.

Hi lovely souls 🤍

Does anyone have a solar powered watch or clock that Sage can have? As you all know, I believe time is a construct, and I feel strongly that we should trust our inner beings rather than external sources to tell us when we are meant to be somewhere.

This has become complicated since Sage started school, as apparently schools do not believe in arriving when your soul feels ready. Sage has already complained that without knowing what time it is, they can't get to school on time. I explained that this is precisely why I don't like clocks.

Sage also came home and told us that apparently that most of his friends eat three meals a day at specific times. One when you wake up, another around noon and then one before you go to bed. I genuinely thought this sort of rigid routine was only followed in places like schools and jails. I teach my children to trust their bodies to tell them when they need to eat. Since Sage has been talking about this, Paprika has now become very interested in the idea of having meals at "proper times" and wants us to try it as part of a family schedule.

Schedules make everything feel so noisy and overwhelming. We stop listening to ourselves when we're constantly checking clocks and following someone else's idea of when we should be eating, sleeping, leaving the house or existing. I do wonder whether we've allowed the government to poke its nose so deeply into our lives that we've forgotten the natural rhythm we were born with.

And now Sage has brought home another new concept. Baseball. Apparently there are teams, and people choose a team, and then two groups of people go somewhere to compete against each other whilst everyone else watches.

I explained to Sage that I don't really understand why people need to compete against each other for fun, but they seem to enjoy it. Now Thyme and Turmeric have decided they would like to go to one of Sage's school games.

I suppose this is all part of letting them experience things for themselves, even when I don't necessarily understand the appeal. Perhaps there is something to be learned from baseball. Although I still don't understand why they can't just all play together without keeping score. 🤍

I know we keep discussing this, but how are people so OK with this. Just saw a reel from a smaller influencer (don't believe she's been mentioned here yet, and for the sake of the child, I won't mention it). Anyway, she shares her kids first day of school. The kids uniform is pretty clear, and in case you were unsure someone shared it in the comments and the influencer acknowledged it. Do they have no care for their children?

We know their birthdays, their schools, their names, their nickname, their hobbies, their tantrums, their vacations. Absolutely everything about them. It is so scary and dangerous. How irresponsible can these people be??

Don't follow either of them, but they both came up on my FYP.

Get ready for the wedding and gender reveals 🙄

I say this with a lot of compassion, but this woman needs a lot of psychological help. I used to see her reels periodically and thought she had an interesting outlook and attitude toward life.

I've been following her recent surgery because it was interesting for me to watch things from a different perspective, since I work in this field. But she is so extremely self-absorbed. I do have compassion for her, because I think a lot of this comes from her own trauma, but she always sees herself as the victim and cannot see things from any other perspective. She's taken it to an extreme.

According to her, no one has ever suffered as much as she has, and therefore everything should revolve around her needs. She also can't imagine anyone else ever truly understanding her, so she doesn't want anyone to message her. I meet plenty of people who have suffered what she has, and more, and they can still have empathy for others. They understand that other people are suffering too, or that there may be other patients who have greater needs than they do.

I also understand that her own trauma has led to her not having her needs met in the past. But OMG, she's insufferable.

With a lot of kindness, I hope she continues to heal, because she seems convinced that her healing is now over. It won't do her or her children any good if she stays stuck in this victim mentality.

​

Hi lovely souls 🤍

I don't think I've ever felt quite so many feelings at once.

Monday is Sage's first day at school and after the Meet the Teachers evening, I came home with 400 more questions than I arrived with. Everyone was so kind, but there were so many words I haven't used before.

For example, what exactly is an orientation? Is that the same as the first day, or is it something you do before the first day? Do the children need to orient themselves? Sage seems to think it involves getting shown around, but I wondered if there is some sort of ceremony.

And food has suddenly become something I've been thinking about constantly.If Basil is allergic to eggs, does that mean the school needs to have a rule that nobody is allowed to bring eggs because Basil is Sage's sibling? Or would that only apply if Basil was actually at the school? I realised I have absolutely no idea how schools manage these things. Do children all eat together? Does everyone bring their own food? Are there people who check ingredients?

My children are generally barefoot and wearing very minimal clothing at home because we don't like to put unnecessary restrictions on the body. Does school provide guidance about what children should wear? Are bare feet allowed if Sage feels called to be barefoot? And if there is a rule about shoes, does it matter which ones? Sage went to the evening his flipflops and some children gave him odd looks.

I also wasn't expecting how much preparation seems to be involved. Bags, books, shoes, lunch, timetables... I keep asking Sage what they need and they keep saying "I don't know" because apparently they're just as new to this as I am.

Sage has been very quiet the last few days. They've mostly been keeping to themselves and reading, and I've started wondering whether they're changing their mind but don't want to tell me as they worked so hard to convince me. I wish they knew that I will support them whatever their choice is. I don't want them to feel that they have to go simply because I finally said yes.

At the Meet the Teachers evening, I kept thinking how proud I was of them for getting this far. Now I'm suddenly wondering whether I have prepared them enough, whether I've prepared myself enough, and whether I should have asked approximately seventeen more questions.

Is there anything obvious that a completely school-unfamiliar Mum should know before Monday? 🤍

Honestly it's so sad to watch. These kids have been exploited since young, and it's like they don't know any other lifestyle.

CakeMyBreath's 2 daughters have a handle and it's as if each of her children will eventually get their own. The younger ones have been born into it and their whole life is revolved around the camera. I also noticed that Moses and Ziporah have now started involving their daughter and even made a new special mum and daughter account

What's the biggest Aveira? We all know that touching your beard or uncovering your hair is worse than being Mechalal Shabbos in Chabad, but which is the bigger evil?

View Poll

So this Mendy Amor has entered social media where he shows the world what Chabad actually is all about. These ex Chabad voices are very rare and often get shut down, as Chabad are very into PR. People can't take what he is revealing.

He is being gaslit by being told his experience is just his family (absolutely not) or one of a BT family (he's Gezhe so not the case at all).

​

Hi lovely souls 🤍

Tomorrow is such an exciting evening for our family as we prepare to meet Sage's teachers for the first time!

I have been thinking carefully about how to support Sage through this new experience, so naturally I have decided that we should all go together. Sage seems to think it is an evening just for parents, but I don't really understand why. Surely the children should be able to meet the people who will be teaching them too? We are a family, after all. And we all want to celebrate this new chapter with Sage.

Sage mentioned that Al isn't going, but I think perhaps Al just doesn't like going out at night because I can't imagine why anyone would choose to miss something like this.

I am also preparing some little snacks to bring because I don't know how long these meetings usually last. Are you expected to eat beforehand? Should I inform them of lovely Basil's allergies? Is there a timetable? Do teachers introduce themselves one at a time? Will we be sitting in a circle? Are parents allowed to ask questions during the lesson? Do we need to bring our shoes?

And most importantly, are children allowed to leave the room if they feel overwhelmed, or do they need to ask permission? My children aren't used to restrictive rules, so may find that difficult.

All the children are very excited to accompany Sage and show their support. Oregano has already said they would like to explore the school grounds beforehand to ensure the grounds will be welcoming for Sage. Basil is bringing a little stone for Sage to keep in their pocket. Cumin has simply been practising opening and closing the briefcase for Sage that Oregano discovered in the meadow.

Thyme and Turmeric have been preparing something very special for Sage's teachers. They have collected little pieces of bark, dried leaves and some things they found beneath the old oak tree and are making each teacher a little "earth bundle" to remind them to stay connected to the natural world. They said they wanted to include a little soil from our garden too, so the teachers can take a piece of home with them. I think it's very thoughtful, although I'm not sure how much soil they have actually put in each one.

Paprika has asked if they can sit with Saffron in the hallway during the evening, as they are both rather sensitive to lots of noise and unfamiliar sounds. I think it would be much kinder for them than expecting them to sit in a crowded room, but I'm not sure whether this is something schools usually allow? Would there be somewhere peaceful for them to sit?

I'm sure tomorrow will be a beautiful beginning. 🤍

Danny has such main character energy.

This is the latest one that ticked me off. What makes him think it's acceptable and OK to surprise your younger sister and crash them for a week or 2? Whilst she may be happy, it's just disrespectful. What if they had other plans? I can't imagine anything worse. And they constantly do this all the time. They think they're celebrities wherever they go, and always expect the royal treatment and the red carpet to be rolled out for them and their kids. And when it's not, they act so entitled.

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Edited to add. I didn't follow the story that much to know that the husband knew. I'm just saying that their whole general vibe is very entitled and that example is just another one. They think behave very entitled and act is if everything revolves around them. They're the type to think that anyone would jump for joy for them coming, without considering if the person had other plans, or may prefer a heads.

Whenever I'm paired with a certain HCA, I end up having a really stressful shift and end up being drained and staying really late. The hard part is that there's nothing obvious I can pull them up on. They're kind, patients really like them, and they know how to appear busy.

The problem is that they somehow always manage to be doing jobs that take them away from the bay, such as taking things to the bank or collecting items from other wards. They also seem to time their breaks just as patients are likely to need changing, take their full break (sometimes longer), and often leave for handover early. Meanwhile, I find myself doing far more of the personal care than I normally would, on top of all my nursing responsibilities.

I have absolutely no issue with personal care. It's part of nursing, and I'll always help. My frustration is that I'm trying to juggle medication rounds, assessments, documentation, referrals, phone calls and everything else, yet I end up missing breaks, staying late and feeling constantly behind when I'm working with this person.

They also expect me to be available for every transfer or change, regardless of what I'm doing. For example, I was in the middle of a medication round when she asked for help with a transfer. I explained I needed to finish giving some time-critical medication. I still stopped to help with a transfer because I wasn't going to not help. I then noticed the patient didn't have socks on, so I asked the HCA to sort that. I then quickly ran to collect medication from the clinic. I was gone for about two minutes, but when I came back they told me off and said I shouldn't leave them like that again. I don't have time to waste, so every second is precious. In hindsight I should have communicated, but I was so frazzled already, that I thought it was obvious what I was doing.

I think what I find difficult is that they don't seem to appreciate or respect the nursing workload. They'll sometimes comment, "Surely meds shouldn't take that long?", which makes me feel as though they don't understand or respect everything that medication rounds involve, especially when they're constantly interrupted.

What makes this especially difficult is that come across as caring and responsible, but somehow always manage to say "This patient needs changing," or "This one needs a wash," just as they're heading off on break. They have a knack with getting out of tasks. I know I should respond by asking them to do those tasks first, but I'm not naturally assertive, and I don't want a disagreement in front of patients. I'm also often caught by surprise, so I'll be knee deep in a task, and they'll announce that they're going on break and share what needs doing. I really struggled with her when I was NQ, and even brought it up to the sisters, but as there's not anything that I can pull her up on it's difficult. They all know she's like that and expect me to be more assertive. I just don't know how to.

I actually find her more difficult than incompetent staff (and trust me there's many) as they don't boss me about and are not demanding. Usually I can tell other staff what's expected, but it's really difficult to do this with her.

Any tips other than always hoping I'm not with her? How do you become more assertive without feeling confrontational?

What's up with that?

By the likes of Alyssa Goldwater, Miriam Ezagui and her SIL Jen.

You're not anyone's friend. It's just so fake.

I know she's one of the smaller influencers, but this week she's just shared that she secretly remarried her ex. She didn't share it with any of her friends beforehand, probably because they would have talked her out of it!

It's screaming 🚩🚩🚩

She has been very public about their messy divorce and sounds like he and his family are/were very abusive. She claims they reconnected due to her being arrested for his fines!!! Trauma bonding at its finest.

Hi lovely souls 🤍

It has been a little while since I've written. This summer has been one of the biggest seasons of growth our family has ever known.

After many long walks, quiet meditations, gentle conversations, and more tears than I expected, I have made the decision to allow lovely Sage to attend school.

This has been one of the hardest decisions I've ever made as a Mum, but I realised something very important. I was asking Sage to trust their inner voice, whilst quietly hoping it would always lead them to the path I had chosen. That wasn't freedom, and is the opposite of what I stand for.

So I've decided to let Sage follow the path that feels right for them, even if it isn't the one I imagined when they first arrived earthside. I also came to realise that I cannot ask Sage to carry the weight of my own childhood. My memories of school belong to me, not to them.

And goodness, they are so excited! I've never seen them smile quite like this. 🤍

To honour this new beginning, we'd love to invite anyone who feels called to join us this Saturday at noon for a very gentle Manifest Circle, simply to hold Sage in warmth and kindness as they begin this new chapter.

There will be herbal teas, blankets, quiet intentions and, knowing Basil, probably something involving blackberries. Paprika has been helping make little pressed flower bookmarks for Sage, which has been so lovely to see. Thyme and Turmeric are already discussing what colour ribbons carry the most encouraging energy. Oregano has announced they intend to forage Sage a "lucky acorn", although I'm not entirely convinced acorns can be lucky. Cumin is simply delighted that everyone is gathering together and has spent the morning collecting sticks for reasons known only to Cumin. Little Saffron will, as always, join me in my sling 🤍

I do have a few questions, if anyone doesn't mind helping me. Do children really stay inside all day, or are they allowed to wander outside if they need to think? If Sage needs to sit beneath a tree for a little while, is that something schools understand? Do they have to ask permission every time they need the toilet, even if their body is telling them now? Are children allowed to take their shoes off if their feet feel they need the earth? And do teachers still shout? I still have memories of Mr Downtrodden waving his stick and screaming at poor Carol Warburton. Not long after her family moved away.

Thank you to everyone who listened to my worries over the summer without judging me. I don't know exactly what this next chapter will look like, and I'm working hard to step back and be the Mum Sage needs me to be.

Sending you all softness as autumn begins to whisper its arrival. 🤍