Life after abuse

Rants of a single mom, 4 months post separation.

And part of me thinks…this is that feeling of endurance and resilience that you can feel in single mothers. Everyone else can clock out but if I do it everything falls apart. Whether you are having a hard day or a hard life, your children still need you and sometimes it is just you. I try not to resent anyone for it because regardless this is my child and I love my child. Romantic relationships end, as do friendships and family depends on circumstance and while they just not be able to help it doesn’t change the fact that my support system hangs by a thread. My sister doesn’t help as much hands on with the baby but she still does the other things. So I’m back to 25/8 parenting, working, exhausted and lonely but never able to be alone. Lately I’ve been contemplating just giving in and calling my husband. But ik it’s not to do that. Many have unsolicited advice or suggestions but few offer action or support. It’s not the losing him that hurts so much as realizing I don’t have much of anyone nowadays.

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u/Flaky-Card-8408 — 1 day ago
▲ 5 r/trauma+1 crossposts

Breaking the Trauma bond

I got my Order of Protection granted recently. I just want to know how long did it take you to stop missing your abuser? I try not to hate myself for even thinking of him and wanting him. For me he is death, I know that and still I miss him. I wake up and choose myself and my daughter everyday no matter how hard things can get. She deserves the world. So I fight everyday for her, she’s my why.
Why I will never go back or be with a man who treats me like that ever again. Idk I’m just thinking. Rebuilding has been brutal but my baby is flourishing, I’ve lost 40 pounds, I look good and feel good. I don’t have to worry about being hurt or hiding that I’m being hurt, spending everyday terrified and trying to protect my daughter from seeing it. A small part of me thought I’d never escape him, but for my baby that was never an option. According to his threats he was going to kill or sex traffic me. So even though I miss him, I will never go back. Even if it hurts.

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u/Flaky-Card-8408 — 2 months ago