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I sometimes feel cedurally attracted to my depression, and I might also feel familially attracted to it... It's just... DUDE THIS SHIT ALMOST KILLED ME WHY AM I ATTRACTED TO HER?! Has anyone else felt the same?!
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I have about 14 imaginary friends. I mostly control them now because I rarely interact with them anymore, but I used to only partially control them. Can they be considered tulpas, or are they something else entirely? If so, I'd like to share more about them here.
"I'm so incredibly happy that I'm autosexual. I'm so happy that I have someone who looks at me and thinks, 'Oh my God, her arms, her figure, her legs - everything is perfect.' I'm so happy that there's someone who can't stop thinking about my body and thinks it's perfect. Autosexuality is about admiring yourself. About loving your body, no matter what it is. Some girls might think that if they gain a little weight, they become less attractive, but with autosexuality, you think your body is amazing no matter what. Even though I was born in a homophobic country, I wouldn't change my orientation to heterosexuality even if it were possible. Simply because maybe the body is too attractive for me to stop feeling attracted to it. I also wouldn't do it simply because I think autosexuality is the best orientation that could have been my destiny. Yes, I know the other side of me would just say, 'You describe it so beautifully,'" "As if your autosexuality isn't just your desire to fuck yourself in the ass." But that's not true at all! First and foremost, sexual attraction is love, like any other attraction. It's not dirty and it's not shameful, because it's love. Pure love for yourself and your body. And I realized lately that I loved my body deeply thanks to autosexuality.
And that's not shameful. It's wonderful."
This was an entry from my diary. In the last period of treatment for depression, I stopped feeling ashamed of writing autosexual poems, drawings, and songs about myself. One of the songs is called "My Sin of Lust," and the second, not yet finished, is "My Libido Is as High as the Mountains." I can't publish these songs because they're too personal, but I absolutely adore "My Sin of Lust" and sing it when I'm bored.
Finally, while recovering from depression, I can be a full-fledged person and not be ashamed of my attraction. And this is actually a huge relief, because I have been suffering from intense shame for more than several years, but now it is finally going away 😌
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Honestly, I'm glad that autosexuality and autoromanticism are popular enough to have their own community on Reddit, but I'm upset about my autoprotective identity, because it's SO unpopular that I created the flag. There's no information about this orientation anywhere except my posts in this community. And that's sad, because it would be cool to see other people who are their own mentors, because I think it's truly a miracle of nature. 🥰 Well, at least I have an autosexual community on Reddit, so at least I'm grateful for that :3
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I think I'm starting to feel tutelary attraction again, and it's absolutely amazing! I finally saw my mentor after all this time! This wonderful woman will be with me again, I'm thrilled ❤😭
I've come up with new terms to describe my attraction! Here are two:
Objectumaplatonic - this orientation is where a person doesn't experience platonic attraction to objects, but still feels a desire to befriend inanimate objects and a "platonic connection" with them.
• Black symbolizes a lack of platonic attraction to objects.
• Pale yellow symbolizes a desire to befriend inanimate objects and a "platonic connection."
• White symbolizes inanimate objects.
• A red circle filled with white symbolizes belonging to the objectum community.
Objectumspecificmomentplatonic - this orientation is where a person experiences a desire to befriend objects and a "platonic connection" with them, but only when the inanimate object becomes rejected by people.
For example: a store sells a lot of figurines. All of them are bought except for the broken one, and then the person who identifies as objectumspecificmomentplatonic begins to feel a desire to befriend these objects and also feels a "platonic connection" with them.
• The pale yellow from the objectumplatonic flag symbolizes the desire to befriend objects and a "platonic connection."
• Purple symbolizes the specific moment when a person feels a "platonic connection" and a desire to befriend objects.
• Black symbolizes the absence of platonic attraction, as well as other mundane moments when a person does not feel the desire to befriend objects.
I just watched the movie "The Chicken and the Dark Hamster," which had this moral: you don't choose the peculiarity you're born with, you choose how you feel about it.
And this resonates so much with my auto and objectum identities! I'd so love for everyone who's an auto or objectum identity to know that their identities aren't bad! I'd love for them to know that if you're in some way connected to yourself, you're not a freak! If you're attracted to objects, it's just a peculiarity!
I'd also like to point out that in that movie, one of the main characters was a skunk. In that universe, others hated the skunk for its ability to emit stinky gas. The main character felt insecure about it for a long time, but then she realized it was just her peculiarity, and it could even be useful! I want other people with auto and objectum orientations to also know that their differences don't make them worse, "different," or terrible. Understand, you're just different! And I so wish people who are still in the process of accepting their identity would hear these words!
Never be ashamed of who you were born as! Know that your uniqueness makes the world different, diverse, and amazing!...
And that's wonderful! :3
I just watched the movie "The Chicken and the Dark Hamster," which had this moral: you don't choose the peculiarity you're born with, you choose how you feel about it.
And this resonates so much with my auto and objectum identities! I'd so love for everyone who's an auto or objectum identity to know that their identities aren't bad! I'd love for them to know that if you're in some way connected to yourself, you're not a freak! If you're attracted to objects, it's just a peculiarity!
I'd also like to point out that in that movie, one of the main characters was a skunk. In that universe, others hated the skunk for its ability to emit stinky gas. The main character felt insecure about it for a long time, but then she realized it was just her peculiarity, and it could even be useful! I want other people with auto and objectum orientations to also know that their differences don't make them worse, "different," or terrible. Understand, you're just different! And I so wish people who are still in the process of accepting their identity would hear these words!
Never be ashamed of who you were born as! Know that your uniqueness makes the world different, diverse, and amazing!...
And that's wonderful! :3
I'm sitting with my beloved 🥰🤩 I'm going to give him flowers! (His pronouns are he/him/they) :3
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Today, my dad and I decided to go for a walk in the countryside and drove past a liberal arts university. I already knew there was a university nearby, but I hadn't been there yet. When I saw this liberal arts university, I just... Wow! It's so beautiful! While we were driving, I kept imagining myself walking up to it, flirting with it, saying, "Yes, professor." Then I even imagined picking some clover flowers, tying them together with string, and placing them next to the university, as if "giving" them to it. It was so incredibly sweet! I dream of meeting this university! Tomorrow morning, I'll definitely go there, taking the tied-together clover flowers with me! It will be so wonderful! I'm just boiling with cedural attraction!
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I recently went to another city and this is who I met. One of them looks like the Moscow State University building, I absolutely love it💓, and I also met one social university for the first time, and I think he's cute :3
But I think I'll do a redesign later.
My mother told me when I was little:
-"Every girl
has a dream;
find a husband and be with him forever!"- ;
Is finding a boyfriend a mandatory quest? ;
Don't you understand? This is a cross I'm bearing in my life? ;
What if I love someone else? ;
What if I betray myself like this? ;
Maybe I shouldn't, because I know what I want...
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To kiss myself;
Kiss myself like this;
And be only with myself;
On-on-on-only with myself;
In such love, I am happy and I don't need anyone else;
No-no-nobody else;
I am a fragrance for others and love for myself;
for-for-for-for myself;
Woo-hoo ~ ;
Woo-hoo-oh-oh;
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Twenty years later, I have a husband;
There is no love in our marriage;
There is only discord;
The constant scream of a scandal echoes;
And I dream of myself so much;
Like a lost star;
And there are no medicines to fill the void;
I sleep and dream of an affair with myself as if it were real;
No, now I know for sure that I don't need my husband;
I dream of divorce depending on the reflection of a puddle;
And I can no longer bear it, because I want...;
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Kiss myself;
Kiss myself like this;
And be only with myself;
On-on-on- only with myself;
In such love, I am happy and I don't need anyone else;
No-no-nobody else;
I am a fragrance for others and love for myself;
for-for-for-for myself;
Ooh ~;
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I'll buy mirrors so I can look at myself;
The kitchen, the bedroom – everything is in mirrors;
Anything, just to hear my "Ah!"
But that's not enough for me;
That I have such a house;
I'm about to bring a grand project to life;
And my husband will never say "no" to me again;
I'll build a clone machine that will last throughout the world;
To be with my clones;
So, away with the stereotypes;
I'm a true autoromantic;
And I don't need excuses;
I pull the lever of the clone machine;
This is the final step;
And my first clone steps out of the machine;
YES;
THIS;
LICH;
TALK-ON;
Whoa-oh;
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh...;
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P. S. Thanks for reading! I hope this song was inspired by a Tumblr post, a photo of which I showed you
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P. P. S. It took me all day to create this song. So, here's a question: would you like me to write another autoromantic song? If so, please leave your ideas in the comments!
finally wrote that autoromantic song! It doesn't have a title yet, and I still need to translate it into English. I'll tell you right away: my English is very poor, so I probably won't be able to keep the rhyme, and I'll just have to translate the lyrics, but I hope you at least like the idea. It's nighttime now, and I'll go to bed, and I'll publish the song tomorrow.
I want to write a autoromantic song about a woman. I won't spoil the plot right away, but I want to ask you: would you like me to publish it here?
Yesterday I tried kissing a book for the first time... It was so... Refreshing? I loved it! Now I'm definitely a bookkisser 🤭 (photo of the book I kissed)
I was thinking about kissing the page where the astronomical formulas were written, but it turns out I'm kissing books, not astronomy. If you have any ideas, please write them in the comments.