u/Flimsy_Bullfrog_5930

Hi! I passed the ASWB Master’s exam with an 87 correct (needed 71) yesterday on my first try!

I used Agents of Change, RayTube, and Pocket Prep (I subscribed for the last month so I could use the practice exams). I also purchased the official ASWB practice exam!

Honestly, almost everything I really focused on to study was not on my exam. There were no questions on theories, crisis, mental health disorders, or medications. I had a lot of questions on LGBTQIA+ topics, cultural considerations, problem solving, community planning, ethics, and macro social work. There were also a lot of evaluation questions. I noticed quite a few questions related to school social work and child protective services as well. I also felt like the questions were trying to trick you.

I am so thankful I passed because the exam was definitely harder than I anticipated since I mostly have experience in clinical work! I think the most important thing that helped me pass, aside from my schooling and experience, was the official ASWB practice exam, process of elimination, and just taking the question if it were a perfect world.. I also flagged a ton of questions and reviewed my answers three times.

Good luck to everyone studying!

I just need to vent to people who understand pet loss.

I have been having such a hard time since losing my soul dog in July. There has been so much going and the last few months have been hard. Before she passed, our house got broken into, then we moved across the country back home to both my husband’s and my toxic families (big mistake), and then a week after she passed I started a new job after grad school.

My dog was my support and honestly my safe space. She was the one I came home to. Not having her here through all of this has been so hard. There have been so many times after a bad day where all I wanted was to go home and be with her, and then I remember that she’s not there.

My new job has also been nothing like I expected and has been really difficult. I had a bit of a breakdown after a really bad day and had a pretty bad anxiety attack. I should have called my therapist but instead I ended up calling a crisis hotline because I just really needed someone to talk to.

The person I talked to was honestly.... horrible and then they told me, “Why don’t you think about getting a new dog? Maybe a puppy!” I was honestly so upset by that and how that was what he said immediately.

As a therapist myself, I just cannot imagine saying that to someone who is grieving their pet. It also just really bothered me that someone on a crisis line seemed to have so little understanding of how devastating pet loss can actually be.

I am doing better mentally, and thankfully, I don’t think I needed the hotline as badly as some people might. But it is concerning to think that this could happen to someone who really did need that mental health support.

I am having a hard time cleaning up my home after losing my beloved dog two weeks ago. I keep seeing her dog hair everywhere and it makes me so happy to know a part of her is around. I have not swept or vacuumed since she has passed. I also do not want to clean our blankets since she was last on them... The issue is that my floors are looking very dirty.. but it makes me sick to think I would clean up her hair.

I am having a very hard time with the loss of my dog Ruby. it has been one week today. I have found music to help and put into words how I am feeling.

Sufjan Stevens describes grief so well. I just wanted to share some songs and lyrics in case it helps anyone else too. Some songs of his that I really connected with are Fourth of July, Death with Dignity, Goodbye Evergreen, and futile devices .

The Only Thing by Sufjan Stevens is another great one the whole songs describes my grief so well. I really loved the lyrics..

In a veil of great disguises, how do I live with your ghost?.... Should I tear my eyes out now?
Everything I see returns to you somehow
Should I tear my heart out now?
Everything I feel returns to you somehow

This just spoke to me because my life revolved around my dog. Everything I did was for her and to make her happy. Everything reminds me of her and being home has been so hard.

Also if anyone has any recs for songs I would love to listen!

It is long so dont feel any obligation to read. I just kept writing and writing last night when I was having a very hard time missing her. It was nice to reminisce on her life, our memories, and everything she loves. It may not be the best way to cope for everyone but it was nice for me.

(changed things for privacy)

Rupert “Ruby” J

August 28, 2014 - July 6, 2026

It is with profound sadness that we share Ruby crossed the rainbow bridge on July 6, 2026, at 11 years young. Ruby was peacefully put to sleep in our home in Winchendon with Luke and me by her side, telling her how deeply loved she was and singing our Ruby Dubie song. The last few days of her life were filled with Sniffspots and saying goodbye to all of her human and dog friends. We also spoiled her with plenty of steak and liver.

Ruby was my child and she meant everything to me. My life will never be the same without her. I want to share how wonderful Ruby was with everyone who did not have the blessing of getting to know her.

Ruby had such an incredible personality. She was so silly and sassy. She had a mind of her own and never had a problem letting us know exactly how she felt. She was stubborn, and on walks we always had to go her way. She loved yapping, and whenever we got ready for a walk she would yap with excitement and give love bites. She was selective about the dogs she liked and, for some reason, always seemed to have a soft spot for little dogs. Ruby never quite understood how to play like a "normal" dog. Instead, she loved flipping other dogs, which admittedly did not make many of them very happy. She would run at them at what felt like 100 miles per hour, duck underneath them, and flip them over. It was absolutely hilarious. 

Ruby was also incredibly loving and caring. She and I shared such a deep bond that I can only describe as a divine soul connection. My mom always said our brains and emotions were connected, and I genuinely believe they were. We always knew how the other was feeling. She was fiercely protective of me, and I was just as protective of her. I trusted Ruby with my life, and I always knew I was safe with her by my side. I think she felt the same way about me.

I took Ruby in shortly after my dad passed away, and I truly believe it was meant to be. Ruby loved my dad just as much as I did. We grieved him together, and I believe we helped each other through that loss. Ruby gave me purpose. I loved taking care of her and being her mom.

Ruby always had to be close to me. We called her my shadow. No matter what I was doing, she always had one eye on me or was right at my feet. She simply wanted to be close, and I loved having her there. When I cooked she would sit on the couch and keep an eye on me the whole time. When I worked at my desk, she would lie in her bed beside me. Whenever I ate dinner, she sat next to me, patiently waiting for little bites of whatever I was eating. She loved sharing Bobo's or eating my pizza crust. It's funny because she liked Bobo's, but otherwise she had expensive taste and only wanted meat... she snubbed her nose at fruit. Steak, bacon, pork belly, and liver were always her favorites. Ruby also had to eat on the couch (sometimes under a blanket) and if she was feeling extra spoiled we would even had to hold the bowl for her like a queen.. which she is!

Ruby was so full of love and simply wanted to be loved. She adored people, and I think it was because she truly believed she was a human. Honestly, sometimes I thought she was too because she was so smart. I genuinely believe she understood me whenever I talked to her. We definitely were able to communicate with each other. I could tell by her eyes how she felt and that she understood me. 

On walks, she wanted to say hi to everyone. She also had such a soft spot for children. I remember walking her and we passed a daycare where the kids were lined up to go inside. Ruby refused to move because she wanted to greet every single kid. 

Ruby adored Luke and he was her favorite person to play with. She knew his schedule and every day around 4:00 p.m. she would sit at the window waiting for him to come home. She also just loved living in Denver and watching people and animals pass by outside the window. She loved barking at them. I remember mornings in Denver when she would stare out the window and bark for hours at absolutely everything and wagging her tail.

Ruby's favorite thing to do was cuddle. From the moment Ian brought her home at nine weeks old until her last night on July 5th, Ruby slept in bed under the blankets. She was the best cuddle buddy, and I will miss sleeping beside her more than words can say. Ruby was very strict with her bedtime and around 7 PM she would whine to go to bed and would not give up until one of us would tuck her into bed. 

Ruby had to sleep with two fuzzy blankets. She had one underneath her and one covering her. During the warmer months, she slept by my legs under the blankets. During the colder months, usually early in the morning, she would crawl up between Luke and me and sleep on the pillow. Ruby also demanded morning cuddles. She would lie on her back, make little whines, and refuse to start her day until she got kisses, belly rubs, and at least 15 mins of attention. She absolutely loved her kisses and belly rubs. That is something I will miss the most.

Ruby never understood personal space. Whenever I sat on the couch, she had to be practically on top of me. After long days at school or work, I would come home, sit on the couch under a blanket, and Ruby would wedge herself beside me so we could both cuddle together and watch tv. Those times meant everything to me, and I will miss them forever.

Ruby also loved her walks. She demanded one every morning and every evening. She also insisted everyone walk together. If Luke was home and I tried to take her by myself, she would sit in the front yard and refuse to move until Luke came outside to join us. We had so many wonderful walks together. Even with her reactivity, I took the time to muzzle train her, which allowed us to enjoy longer adventures that she absolutely loved.

Ruby liked to walk at her own pace... very sloooowly. She loved sniffing everything and hunting squirrels and bunnies. She never seemed to realize they were much faster than she was, but she always gave it her best effort. She and Luke chased squirrels up and down the streets of Denver and Fryeburg. Ruby also had to roll in the grass at least ten times on every walk. She loved being back in Massachusetts because she finally had nice green grass to roll in again. In Denver, we had a special walking route just for her because it had the perfect grassy spots for rolling and, of course, lots of squirrels.

Ruby also loved to pull and play monkey in the middle (with her always being the monkey). She was incredibly strong, and I genuinely believe she could have pulled forever. She loved playing with Luke since he had the strength and enthusiasm to keep up with her. She also loved sunbathing and could spend hours lying outside in the yard, baking in the sunshine. We always called her our big little hot potato.

Ruby was also an incredible swimmer when she was young. She loved swimming, fishing, and chasing ducks. When we lived in Florida, she loved B Beach and the dog beach. She could swim for hours. She was fascinated by fish, and it was so entertaining watching her try to catch them by pawing at the water as if that would work. She also loved catching balls and sticks from the water and could do it all day.

Ruby lived an exciting 11 years. She lived in many places, experienced so much, and truly lived a bigger life than most dogs ever get the chance to. She was loved by so many people.

I know my dad is excited to see her again. I know my dad missed her so much and is happy to have his best friend back. Ruby will be missed more than words can ever express. I know I will think about her every single day and every moment of every day. She was my everything, and I still don't know how I will live without her. Ruby was... is loved beyond words and missed beyond measure.

I hope she is running and swimming pain-free and spending time with her dog friends Charlie and Malakai.

Ruby, I love you. I can't wait to see you again. I will be counting down the days until we are reunited and my heart is whole again.

My husband and I eloped last year. We invited his parents, but they chose not to come. My mom did come and even paid for over half of our elopement.

We recently moved back to our home state, so we decided to have a casual wedding cookout with family. His parents offered to host it at their house, which I thought was really kind. There were about 30–40 guests, and since I have a small family, most of the guests were from his side.

When we met to plan everything, my MIL said she would make two appetizers and put together gift bags. She joked that we could handle the rest of the food, so my husband, and I ended up making most, of it while my mom, sister, and grandmother made the rest. I also purchases all the decor etc which I am totally fine with since I love decorating.

We also planned to have dinner at their house the night before with my mom (dead dad and brother club) so our family could finally meet. My MIL said they could grill or make dinner then we could set up everything. My FIL also offered to help financially if needed. My husband asked if he could pick up/cover the tables and chairs. His mom said she wants to put out lanterns for her father who is passed and then looked at me and said "oh i guess for your father too.."

A few days before the party, we realized we had too much meat to cook in our new place. My husband asked if my MIL could cook half of it at their house. We provided everything literally the meat, seasoning, crockpot, and ingredients. All she had to do was turn it on. My husband’s sister texted him saying the party wasn’t planned well "too disorganized". He was asking too much of their parents, and then asked what my mom and I were even doing to help. Then my FIL told my husband that we had to pay for the tables and chairs.

The day before the party, my mom and I drove over an hour to help set up and for the dinner for our families to meet. On the way there, my husband called and said his parents didnt prepare any food. We went anyways to decorate. and it was just me, my husband, and my mom setting everything up while his parents mostly sat and watched. They barely offered to help until the very end, and even then it felt half-assed offer. My MIL barely spoke to my mom, and most of the conversation was about themselves.

For context, I wasn’t expecting them to do everything. I just thought that since they offered to host, they would want to help with the things and have some interest in the party.

The day of the party wasn’t much better or any different. The morning of they kept calling my husband asking when he’d get there because everything needed to be set up. My mom and I were still finishing the food at home before we came over. Two hours later when we got there My husband was literally running around doing everything so we helped him of course. My MIL didn’t even want to prep one of the appetizers she had promised so my husband ended up making them himself.

The whole party felt awkward. Our families stayed separated, and his parents made no effort to introduce themselves or make my family feel welcome. It was my mom and grandmother introducing themselves to everyone. His sister and cousin wife even made fun of my younger cousins and were mocking him and counting how many hot dogs they ate. Then they were telling people not to eat the dessert my grandmother made because my nephew had helped put whipped cream on it (i helped him with the whipped cream). Also my FIL pulled my husband aside and asked him if he was sure he was making the right decision and if he was truly happy with me... very odd and a year too late lol.

The thing that hurt me the most was that they took family pictures together and never asked me to be in any of them. There were also several passive-aggressive comments from my MIL and SIL about my mom serving the food “too early” or how she had prepared things.

Throughout the party, my husband and I were cleaning, washing dishes, putting food away, and taking care of everything. At the end of the party I had to leave early for our dog. My husband had to clean the entire yard, do the dishes, pack everything up, and take all of the leftover food home because my MIL said she didn’t want any of it (that was fine with me though lol). Oh also she never made the gift bags she had originally offered to do.

I will be honest I was pissed by the end of the party. I left and did not say goodbye or thank them. I have not spoken to them since they also have not reached out to us either. I spoke to my husband about it and he thinks I am too sensitive and overreacting about it all.

I’m not upset that they didn’t pay for the party or do all the work. I’m frustrated because they offered to host, volunteered for several things, didn’t follow through, and then seemed annoyed that we needed any help at all. On top of that, I felt like my family wasn’t welcomed, and my husband spent our own wedding celebration working instead of enjoying it.

AIO for being upset and frustrated about how everything went?