u/Flimsy_Zone3807

My husband [41M] plays golf 2-3 times a week.
He has always messaged me when he’s halfway done, when he is finished, when he’s on his way home etc.
Recently, he has been leaving for golf earlier than usual, (tee time at 5 but leaves at 3 even though it only takes 20 minutes to get there) or comes home early, (18 holes should take 4-5 hours but comes home after 6-7 hours)
I [35F] asked him about this recently and he got weirdly aggressive about it, calling me disrespectful and argumentative and that it’s never been a problem in the past.
That night I went through his phone (terrible I know! I already regret it!) no evidence of cheating, no strange messages, no messaging apps, no locks on any apps, no negative messages to friends about me. Everything seemed normal. Boring even.
One message from a golf buddy asking to play at a course. His reply “I don’t really like the course, but I like the cart girl.”
My heart dropped.
Went to his picture folder, no inappropriate pictures. Went in the recently deleted, there was a video that looked like he was hiding his phone to try and get a video of the cart girl without her noticing, as well as a screenshot of the video.
She looks young, not like illegal young, but young for a 40 year old. Maybe early 20’s.
Still no evidence of anything more than the video and saying to a friend he likes her, but still made me sick.
He apologized for how he reacted, but I didn’t say anything about going through his phone.
I never thought my husband could be capable of creep behaviour.
I cant even look him in the eye anymore.
I know crushes and finding people attractive is pretty normal and part of human nature, I’ve thought men were attractive too! But to take a video of someone without their knowledge or consent is what’s bothering me.
I weirdly feel more sorry for this girl than I am mad or disappointed at him.
How do I move on from this?

My husband [41M] and I [35F] have been together over 10 years, married for 8 with two children.
Over the winter, around Christmas, his best friend who lives pretty far away, told my husband he was getting a divorce.
They call each other a few times a week and his friend talks about the divorce often.
Just last week another one of his friends called him and told him that he was also getting a divorce.
This second one surprised us both as they seemed like a great couple. We have visited them on a few occasions and they always seemed silly and sweet to each other.

Since the second divorce announcement, my husband has been acting really short and abrasive with me.
Not interested in doing things together, kind of snippy and seems annoyed with me and like everything I say or ask is an inconvenience.

I’m not sure if this is just completely unrelated and I’m just overthinking it!

Anyone else’s partner get weird after their friends get divorced?