u/Foe_Hammer_Actual

Three days ago, I found out that an ex-girlfriend of mine passed away last December. I had no idea it had happened, so in a way it feels like I'm grieving months after everyone else.

I'm 32, happily married, and I genuinely have a wonderful life. This isn't about wanting to go back or wishing things had been different. It's just that she was someone who was an important part of my life.

We met when we were both 15 and dated when we were 18. We were only together for about seven months because her parents were extremely strict, so seeing each other was always difficult. Eventually we mutually decided to end the relationship, but we stayed friends afterward. We didn't talk often over the years, but we would occasionally catch up.

She had a daughter in 2020, who I believe is about 4 or 5 now, and she had been with someone for the last couple of years. From what I've learned, they were planning to get married.

Ever since I found out, I've felt this deep ache in my chest. I'm heartbroken—not because she was my ex, but because someone I cared about for nearly half my life is simply gone. I keep thinking about her daughter, her fiancé, her parents, and everyone who loved her. They have to live with this every day, and my heart breaks for them.

I guess I'm struggling because I don't know if what I'm feeling is normal. We hadn't been close in years, and yet this loss has hit me much harder than I expected. Has anyone else experienced intense grief over someone who was once a significant part of your life, even after so much time had passed?