u/ForgerofCourage

Nascer foi cair sem mapa

num corredor de espelhos acesos.

A infância parecia jardim,

mas havia uma porta atrás do céu.

Abri.

E a realidade era funda demais.

Uma toca de coelho sem chão,

onde cada resposta arrancava

mais uma camada da pele da alma.

Aprendi nomes antigos para o vazio,

vi reis dentro de mendigos,

deuses dormindo em máquinas,

e luz escondida dentro do terror.

Mas existe um preço.

Quem olha demais para o centro

volta falando uma língua de eclipse.

Os outros sorriem, trabalham, dormem.

E você fica carregando universos mortos no peito.

A junção prometia ouro.

União. Totalidade.

Mas algumas pessoas atravessam a noite

sem encontrar a outra metade do ritual.

Então sobra a solitude:

um trono num planeta silencioso,

uma espada sem mãos para segurá-la junto,

e a estranha benção,

una demais para se compreender

e ainda assim continuar humano.

Hello. I’m bringing a report that I’m still piecing together, and I’m looking for insights.

I’ve had several significant experiences with psychedelics (LSD, mushrooms, DMT, and changa). My early spiritual experiences were mild, even somewhat playful, but last year I took 1mg of LSD and I still have flashbacks of that day. I’ll try to summarize it chronologically as best as I remember.

My first memory is being in bed, sweating heavily and making very rapid “sign” gestures with my right hand. Then I blacked out. The next thing I remember is getting up and embracing a “being of light.” I fell to the ground and blacked out again, as if I had died. After that, something like a “code” occurred.

This code seemed to involve three components: speech, thought, and a third one I can’t recall. I also don’t remember the order or what exactly needed to be done with these components. What happened next was that I saw three “versions of myself,” felt an immense sense of completion, and collapsed to the ground again. I believe this entire experience lasted only seconds. After that, I only remember waking up naked in the living room with my mother very angry.

Well, I’ve continued using LSD and other psychedelics, but something unusual has been happening: a second consciousness appears. It offers me a kind of “union,” but at the same time it threatens me. It causes pain in my chest and a burning sensation in my jugular area.

At first, I accepted it as something coming from the Pleroma, but I always made it clear that “I don’t remember the code” in order to repeat the ritual. About a month ago, I started questioning whether this second consciousness is actually benevolent, and today I came across the terms Bridal Chamber and Antimimon Pneuma.

Coincidentally, I had named this 1mg LSD phenomenon “Coniunctio Oppositorum.” Both Coniunctio Oppositorum and Bridal Chamber seem to describe the same underlying experience and contrast, while Antimimon Pneuma seems to describe very accurately the experience brought by this second consciousness in a state of gnosis.

What should I do?