i have troubel remembering past. i need something NATURAL that is NATURAL AND NOT ANIMAL BASED
herbs etc
only replies that actually work... dont come in here with ur "vitamin d" bullshit
instead i get mkulta agents that work with the pentagon that are not even my parents. i have memories that i was stolen....
i was heavily abused during my childhood and it continued and still goes on. i really wanna get out of here... but to where?
i am basically in a program where i am stalked 24/7 and experimented on and studied. there is no running... running to where?
the moment i will be on my own will be my demise. and that i think is their goal... they want me to leave. they want me to be alone to have no one. they turn everyone against me. i dont even know how they do it or what even it is they are doing...
another thing i hate is the school systems. basically a big mkultra thing where i am forced to be around satanic families that have demonic roots and are basically demons that perceive good as bad and bad as good... they get pleasure from inflicting pain on others to the point they moan...
all my life i was surveiled be it through cameras or people pretending to be my friends or people that were in on it... pretty much 99% of people in the place i was.
cameras everywhere... all my life... constant surveilance... the demons i live around are basically mimicking me... if i flush the toilet guesss what they will do... ev en if its 3am... they seem to never sleep and never leave the house either... makes no god damn sense... the whole building is full of residents of a specific family so they are all related... i dont ev en know how they live there and how they make money.... they literally do not work...
seems like they are being paid to do all this shit...
too bad i wont get to... all the advice is "get a job" "find someone to marry" or something along those lines
im tired of dealing with people and their abusive little tricks... im so sick of dealing with people that i wanna puke the moment i see someone.
selfie doesnt do it and id doesnt do it.. i did it 3 times now and the same error
seems to be the main subject talked about... god forbid u show any emotion
if you are up for it let me know
what questions did the interrogators ask you? im curious to see if there are any similarities between peoples experience with the system
i was asked bizzare questions and made to take iq tests with shapes and recognizing patterns etc i dont remember most of the questions for some reason. but i think its cuz they gave me some sort of pill while in there to make me forget the whole interrogation
i tried a herb blend a month ago that did work but im not sure what in it worked exactly. it was given as a promotional gift
my lymph system is backed up and i have a swollen lymph node on the left side of my neck which has went down significantly with that herbal blend
ive had that for like 10+ years now and nothing worked except herbs my neck pain is starting to go away too
heres the list of herbs it has
Propolis, Ginseng, Burdock, Devil’s Claw, Oregano, Thyme, Echinacea, Rockrose, Olive Leaves, Milk Thistle, Artichoke, Ashwagandha, Couch Grass, Dandelion, Nettle, Yarrow, Sea Buckthorn, Calendula, Senna, rosehip
the victim is always blamed the victims thought process is weaponized and they are made to think as if its their own fault that they are suffering from the abuse bestowed upon them.
i hate how mostly everyone just blames the victim for feeling angry and sad when the real person that should be blamed is the attacker for the victim is just a victim...
the victim spends their wohjle life thinking something is wrong with them and studying and studying how to deal with the abuse. while the abuser gets to do as they please and in some cases they even gain peoples approval.
the victim on the other hand is mocked shamed and looked down upon with no one to cheer for them. they are looked at with disgust and mocked... treated like moldy fruit and blaming it for getting moldy after being exposed to such conditions without its will.
no matter what the viuctim is always blamed... and even when they give up the victim is still blamed.
something went wrong and they feel bad due to something external? "just ignore it bro" "try to think of it differently" as if it will make the issue go away. the advice that is given to them is just enraging and would drive the victim insane.. which i think is the goal these people secretly want.
its just their way of subtly mocking them while still being passive aggresive which is the normal of the average
i get stalked and harassed by noise campaigns everywhere and anywhere... i dont have a single person that actually cares about me in contact with me.
im losing hope and dont know how much longer i can keep doing this.
i wish i could have my own place and never have to live near any of those psychopaths ever again.
im forced to live with the parasites that abused me and just seeing them pisses me to no end...
no one really bothers to talk to me and if they do they just disappear or start acting weird and insulting me and other stuff...
i genuinely want to end it... my fking brain hurts and i want to cry but i cant i want to yell and break things but i cant... i want to show my emotions but i cant...
the only solution seems to get in the woods where no one can hear me... i want to be far away from everyone so i can never be hurt again. i cannot take this anymore.
i hate how all of my issues are because of stupid money
and also does anyone else deal with drooling? like they randomly start drooling? i never had this before prior to the brain damage caused by the poisons
where do i start? any studying material? videos specifically that you would recommend.
my experience was that the cops barged in my room and watched me dress up naked and refujsed to look away or close the door... they also took away my shaving thing that i had subconciously dehumanizing me
then i was basically kidnapped by these psychopaths 4-5 cops came with 2 different cars they literally barged in while i was sleeping naked
the police car had a broken fan and the officers were smoking deliberately and playing music so i couldnt breathe and what i smelled was second hand smoke... with the windows closed... picture all this in the peak of summer heat
finally they kidnapped me and transported me like a piece of meat without my will and also said "there is no way you wont go" when i asked what am i being held for they said "just a quick doctor checkup" refusing to elaborate what kind of checkup or what will happen to me.
the zerzetsung people in the brainwashing camp all acted as if they were expecting me and performing a certain way on puirpose.
before the interogation happened they drugged me so i coudlnt think straight with somethnig because apparently "my heart rate was too high"
i refused but the piece of shit bloody red handed murderer would insist on me taking it which is unlawful because it was before the paper was signed that i will be admitted.
they cannot make u take anything before the interrogation...
the people there were all psychopaths stealing my stuff smoking in doors near curtains there were no activities to do the tv was broken and couldnt play anything the food was horrible tasted like it was put in sewage water
all it was was just imprisonment with forced brain damaging poison and all over body poisoning...
i couldnt move while they forced me to take those poisons the poisons were at such a high dose that they made me paralyzed on a bed and i coudlnt walk without feeling dizzy (i have never felt dizzy in my life) i also got acne from it and smelled awful so it messed with my hormones too
the whole place smelled disgusting imagine cigarette smoke with shit and piss and garlic sweat with sewage smell and rotting food that even a homeless person wouildnt eat...
it literally made me sick every time i ate it and it must have permanently messed with my gut cuz i get regular stomach aches randomly (stomach aches were very rare prior to this think 2-3 times a year max)
i also retained a ton of water which i cannot lose as easily as before... my dopamine receptors feel damaged i cannot extract joy out of anything...
those meds made me think of harming myself and actually pushed me to do it (something i would never do or take seriously enough to proceed with it)
i was genuinely scared because my brain was not me anymore and felt posssed by some demon which i assume is a portal opened by whatever these satanists give u i have frequent nightmares ever since... i used to never dream before and if i dreamt it was not a nightmare... now all my dreams are nightmares...
i could not eat too i lost my appetite entirely... and i had to force myself to eat to not be labeled some other thing additionaly that they might decide to use as a reason to hold me in there more...
so i was basically playing this game of having to play the happy "im cured now!! this poison is really working!"
every week 4 interrogators came into ur room while the rest of the patients were there and simply asked them "how are you doing?" if u responded with "good" they just wrote it on the paper everything u said was written on the paper
at the first 2 days i was put in a room by myself with no light. i also had no other clothes there other than the ones i was wearing for 3 days till the vermin bugs that put me in there send a bag with them and also along with them put underwear i would not wear and was not mine deliberately leaving the underwear i wear for context i am a trans woman and they deliberately tried to control what i wear telling me i should be ashamed of myself and other such things "where will you go looking like this" while misgenderng and deadnaming me to everyone giving everyone an idea that im somehow crazy and to treat me as such.
the reason they treied to use was because i "isolate" and dont talk to them...
the reason i dont talk to them is because they are mentally and physically abusive and controlling the only reason they talk to me is to gain intel in which they will use to further abuse me in whatever form possible by knowing what buttons to press.
while i was in there they refused to tell me who admitted me and the disgusting psychopaths that admitted me lied that they were the ones doing and played this stupid mask of "i dont know who did this to u and i was shocked when i found out"
therefore i couldnt know how to defend myself because i dont know who my enemy is also i remember while i was still living with the sperm donor's family and "it" i remember it and its girlfriend whic it was together with since when it was 16 both hinting that they will put me in there saying things like " you are crazy, you are thinking wrong, you need to go to a doctor," "the only reason you are still here is cuz i let you" and its girlfriend said to me "they will put u in the jail and strap u and inject u with poison" which is something both sides of the egg donro and sperm donor say... painting this image of me being somehow "crazy" and by me isolating this is the only people i am related to so therefore my world is painted in a way that "i a m crazy and thats why no one talks to me and looks down on me" and that im somehow broken.
prior to this the sperm donor parasite put a hidden camera in a shoebox in my room and once confronted he said "what do uj have to hide" which led to a huge argument where i started pointing out what he did which he refused and said it never happened along with its parasite counterpart constantly nodding and taking everything it says to face value as if it was writen a scripture in a bible. siding with him no matter how insane it would sound for someone to make a story like that up. so they basically knew the reason i didnt talk to them but they tried ot paint it as me having agoraphobia or something schizoid related. which i was later labeled as by the parasites in there as a way to trap me and poison me and control me.|
there were cameras all over the house kitchen bathroom even outside. they would go into my things and search them while i wasnt home. and try to brush it off as "cleaning"
the sperm donor has connections with members of the cia and even the pentagon picture this.. it made a call to one of them and its fine was dropped just by a call..
it also has access to many cameras and has an obsession with spying on people. it install cameras in other people and spies them without their knowledge... it does this a profession by the way. all under the table
it probably is some kind of cia spy drone used to spy on me and systemically ruin my wellbeing.
messing with electronics too and putting spy devices in my appliances so it can spy on me.
the place there was built like an interrogation room and everyone felt like they staged it and it was some kind of brainwashing facility because i was specifically sent to one of them way too far from others that exist.
they all acted as iuf they were paid to act a certain way. and to paint me as an insane person. the admin specifically was a piece of shit on purpose.. controlling my eye movements and telling me how to speak... which is basically a technique to disrupt my thinking... cuz eye movement and thinking is very closely related.
they basically wanted me sedated and unable to think clearly on probably interrogation drugs they give u so u start speaking out things that would incriminalize you so they can use something as a basis to put me in there... while i was in there they all sides from theb egining with the parasites the sent me there... and didnt question anything they said even after i told them that i did nothing wrong and wasnt aggresive like they said... i literally was sleeping so how is that possible? the only times i got "aggresive" was when i got pissed off and started yelling to the parsaites which already were yelling at me as an abuse mechanism and playing this hierarchy of "you should respect me because im your sperm donor and you have no right to say anything back"
ever since it feels like im being gangstalked and monitored by some kind of secret group that runs this. probably the same group that did this to me.. im probably some kind of experiment... they frequently made me take iq tests and i was asked beizzare questions sort of in an interrogating way as to gain intel about me but didnt care abotu my emotions or how it affected me. they just asked questions about who what where and why. and me believing that if i told my side of the story they would believe me... but what i said was used against me instead and i was painted as if i made the whole story up ... cuz they are all parasites and lie and show emotions of "we are ppoor victims she went aggresive and neds to be checked hlp us please!!"
the parasites visited me many times and used m,oney as a way to "prove" thjat it wasnt them that put me in there.... they actively lied about why i was put in there and who put em in there and was told that my devices and clothing was seized by the police! by everyone once i was back... when i refused to take the poison they threated to send me back in there...!! saying things that are illegal and not what the law actually says!
the paper clearly states who did it and the parasite still lies about it. it also did a urine test on me without my knowledge which i later found out by looking at the hospital databse
they refused to admit lying nobody that is the sperm donor or the egg donor admitted everything ever unless it would benefit them by immediately after saying "yea i did this but u also did X thing years ago" ( a response to a claim i made for a behavior that is currently happening!)
everyone in the brainwasihng camp deadnamed and misgendered me deliberately... there was another trans person in there but they didnt deadname them! they also had the best treatment in there and tried to befriend me as a way to get intel!
all of this was deliberately done to control me and silence me against the organized crime that they are doing which is really eugenics and studying how people react to certain senarios and treating them as guinea pigs for their interrogation techniques! "gangstalking" is the term or also known as "zerzetsung"... everyone that is systemically put around me is secretly a supporter of the hated most known party to exist! so they definetly have connections with that party... i cannot say which it is but u probably know which one it is by the use of german words.
kratom
theobromine
caffeine
specifically as supplement
im dealing with memory loss and disconnect from old self ever since given abilif