u/Free-You5581

It’s the title. I’ve been trying to get better and my depressive episodes were reducing but ever since my brother has come back I’ve just been rotting. Cutting them off is not an option. He’s just been overly negative and rude to me, and I can’t say anything back because he’ll get hurt and he’ll be even more rude/guilt trip me/ harm someone or something. This is not something I ever expected to type, my brother has always been the only person in my family who treated me like a person. But I think it’s just because I didnt know what bullying was for all these years. He’s been calling me ugly and whatnot, and he brags about such stupid things. I really think no one else has such an incredibly low opinion about me. I’m not the most skilled or charismatic person but I’ve never been bullied or had people be this mean to me. The few times people have “bullied” me I generally have the ability to retaliate. I also just don’t even talk to that many people so I’m sure there are other people like this. But I don’t know if misplacing his things or accidentally breaking stuff makes me worthy of this.
As I’m writing this I feel as though he’ll read this and tell me I’m overreacting. But I’m just at such a low point in my life right now, and I have a lot of things I want to do and be but all I do is numb myself. I can’t go outside that often because it’s so fucking hot all day, and I’m chronically ill.

Honestly I don’t know what to do I don’t even feel comfortable getting a book out and journalling because I’m scared of being fun of. I don’t want to live my life like this. If I try to tell him this he thinks I hate him and want him away, and no, I just wish you treated me with basic human decency. But he’s the type of person that thinks bullying is cool or whatever so I can’t convince him

I’m turning 18 this year, and Im a girl. I need to get away from my family because they’re genuinely going to ruin me. They’re not physically abusive or anything they’re just crushing to exist around, these people who don’t see me as a person but even more than that it’s my psychopathic brother who keeps ending the lives of the cats around the area after he’s done with the ones in the house. I just need to get away, because as long as I keep around him I’m going to be the only one who knows and I’m so scared, I don’t want to do this anymore. I’ve spent my whole literal life trying to keep these cats alive with no avail. I can’t fucking do anything the best I can do is run because my family keeps using me as an excuse to keep cats at home but I keep begging to just give them away to another family. And Iccant tell why I want to give them away because then what if he does something to the cat, or what if he moves on to our dog? I’m so scared. I really am . I thought my parents would let me move into a hostel (it’s like a dorm here in India) but they’re changing their mind at the last moment. I can’t get help from the police being an adult is useless because my dad’s brother is rich and I need to listen to them to some extent or else my dad might go suicidal and if he does no one will pay for my brother’s and I’s college. I don’t know what to do. I just want to run. I’m tired. But they’re not letting me join the hostel because apparently they care about my safety. Like they haven’t ignored me for majority of my growing years which has led me to have a multitude of health problems they wont even take me to the doctor for. O need to run far away I hate these idiotic and stupid idea that just because the owner of a hostel is Muslim it’s automatically unsafe. It’s so fucking stupid, I’m so tired. I can’t believe these insecure losers are the ones making me feel this way, the same losers who look up “how to do AI influencer models”. It’s not fair that just because I’m a child I don’t get to be safe, or even feel unsafe
I just wanted to really “live”, I think if I have to wait more years to do that,, I wont be able to take it. I’m scared constantly, and then I have to be called talentless and over dramatic for never having done anything with my life

I have these face framing side bangs, which I love. But my hair is damaged rn, so I need to tie all of my hair, but because of my layers a lot of them don’t fit into my low ponytail. I bought mini claw clips, but I have chronic migraines and they make them worse. A high pony tail makes my hair hurt too :(. When I wear my bonnet my hair behaves, so I’m wondering if there’s an alternative to that I can wear for most of the day? Or if y’all have any other suggestions I’d be really thankful.
Also, in case someone asks why I got this haircut, it was very impulsive 🙏