After a decade of gender confusion and distress, listening to bands like Bikini Kill and Jack Off Jill helped me connect with my feminine power. I even started writing my own music and now I’m a somewhat successful performer. I can now be the ultimate woman on stage and irl. I am eternally grateful
I had ECT treatments a few years ago and it helped me a lot. However, I never want to go through it again. I went to my psychiatrist recently about worsening paranoia and hallucinations. She doubled my clozapine and said if that doesn’t work she’s going to add lithium and if that doesn’t work she wants me to have more ECT treatments. I’m really scared of getting more ECT treatments and I’m starting to get anxious about it. How can I make sure the meds work so I don’t have to do ECT again?
I am a Detrans woman (ftmtf). When I was 14, my mother eavesdropped on my therapy sessions and found out I was questioning my gender. When my mother confronted me about it, I told her I thought I’m gender fluid and wanted to explore my gender. By that I meant I wanted to play with fashion, hair, and makeup. I’ve had mental health problems my whole life. My mother believed if I medically transitioned, it would cure my mental illness. She pressured me to take hormones and get a double mastectomy and hysterectomy all before I was 18. I didn’t want any of this. My therapist refused to write a letter approving of hormones and surgery because she knew I was scared and didn’t want any of that. However, my mother doctor shopped and made sure all of those medical procedures happened to me. I was absolutely miserable but my mom tried to convince me I needed this. Meanwhile, my mother made being the mom of a trans kid her entire identity. She gave speeches and attended events as a “trans expert”. The entire time, I was telling anyone who would listen that all of this happened against my will. However, my mother is an extremely well respected member of the community and no one thought my mom would ever do something like this to me. My therapist has years and years of documentation of me saying I never wanted the transition to happen and I want to be completely female. I am 27 now and started officially detransitioning 3 years ago. I’m trying to save enough money to get breast reconstruction and laser hair removal. I decided to make a gofundme and post it on social media. After posting, I immediately got a phone call from my mother. She gaslit me the entire time saying the initial transition was my choice and she didn’t force me to do anything. I calmly told her that everything happened because she forced it. I was terrified and miserable every second I lived as male. She yelled at me and said that nothing I am saying is true and that I’m going to ruin her reputation. She gaslit me hardcore the whole phone call. She is now refusing to talk to me. I’m scared I’m going to completely lose my relationship with my mom even though everything I’ve said online is true. I’m tired of being gaslit and manipulated. I was too young to consent to what happened to me and I never wanted any of it to happen anyway. I don’t know what to do. I’m traumatized and don’t need more trauma. I’ve made an emergency appointment with my therapist so I’m hoping that will help give me some comfort. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this?
I am a Detrans woman (ftmtf). When I was 14, my mother eavesdropped on my therapy sessions and found out I was questioning my gender. When my mother confronted me about it, I told her I thought I’m gender fluid and wanted to explore my gender. By that I meant I wanted to play with fashion, hair, and makeup. I’ve had mental health problems my whole life. My mother believed if I medically transitioned, it would cure my mental illness. She pressured me to take hormones and get a double mastectomy and hysterectomy all before I was 18. I didn’t want any of this. My therapist refused to write a letter approving of hormones and surgery because she knew I was scared and didn’t want any of that. However, my mother doctor shopped and made sure all of those medical procedures happened to me. I was absolutely miserable but my mom tried to convince me I needed this. Meanwhile, my mother made being the mom of a trans kid her entire identity. She gave speeches and attended events as a “trans expert”. The entire time, I was telling anyone who would listen that all of this happened against my will. However, my mother is an extremely well respected member of the community and no one thought my mom would ever do something like this to me. My therapist has years and years of documentation of me saying I never wanted the transition to happen and I want to be completely female. I am 27 now and started officially detransitioning 3 years ago. I’m trying to save enough money to get breast reconstruction and laser hair removal. I decided to make a gofundme and post it on social media. After posting, I immediately got a phone call from my mother. She gaslit me the entire time saying the initial transition was my choice and she didn’t force me to do anything. I calmly told her that everything happened because she forced it. I was terrified and miserable every second I lived as male. She yelled at me and said that nothing I am saying is true and that I’m going to ruin her reputation. She gaslit me hardcore the whole phone call. She is now refusing to talk to me. I’m scared I’m going to completely lose my relationship with my mom even though everything I’ve said online is true. I’m tired of being gaslit and manipulated. I was too young to consent to what happened to me and I never wanted any of it to happen anyway. I don’t know what to do. I’m traumatized and don’t need more trauma. I’ve made an emergency appointment with my therapist so I’m hoping that will help give me some comfort. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this?