u/Fresh-Resource6122

Hi everyone,

First of all, I apologize if anything I say comes across as offensive to anyone’s religious beliefs. That’s genuinely not my intention. I’m just sharing how I personally feel and would like some outside perspective.

I’m not a very religious person. I do believe in God, but I’m not someone who does daily pooja, rituals, or religious practices regularly.

I’ve been married for about 4–5 months and currently live with my husband. Next year, my in-laws will be moving in with us permanently.

Whenever I’m at my husband’s hometown, my in-laws expect me to wake up early, take a bath, clean the mandir, and do pooja. I’m generally okay with doing it there because I’m not working, not going to the gym, and don’t have much else going on.

However, where we currently live, my routine is completely different. I go to the gym in the morning, then directly to the office, and after work I come home and handle cooking and other household responsibilities. Life gets busy, and I often forget things like cleaning the mandir or doing pooja.

My husband works from home permanently. Today, while cleaning the room where our mandir is kept, he noticed there was dust and started talking about how “we are not very religious people” and how “we should be doing these things every day.” He also said it’s not nice that the mandir hasn’t been cleaned.

What bothered me was that he kept saying “we,” but it felt like the message was directed entirely at me. Maybe I’m wrong, but it felt less like an observation and more like a taunt.

The thing is, if he feels strongly about daily pooja and maintaining the mandir, why doesn’t he do it himself? He says he isn’t expecting me to do it, but as an Indian woman and daughter-in-law, it’s hard not to feel that the responsibility is automatically being placed on me.

Another thing that crossed my mind was this: if someone believes that not doing daily pooja or not keeping the mandir clean is wrong, then shouldn’t the same logic apply to celebrating festivals, visiting temples, and participating in religious events? Yet many people who aren’t very regular with daily worship still happily celebrate festivals.

And to be honest, for me festivals have never been entirely about worship. They’re more about spending time with family, meeting loved ones, enjoying traditions, eating good food, and creating memories together.

The funny thing is, I wasn’t even hurt by his comments. I just don’t think devotion can be forced. I feel prayer should come naturally. If I pray only because I’m expected to, it loses its meaning.

What bothers me more is the larger expectation. Sometimes it feels like the moment a woman stops centering her life around traditions, rituals, and what everyone else expects from her, people get disappointed. It’s as if she’s somehow failing at being a “good” daughter-in-law.

Am I overthinking this, or would you have felt the same way?

TL;DR: My husband says “we” should do daily pooja and keep the mandir clean, but it feels like the responsibility is quietly being placed on me simply because I’m the daughter-in-law, even though neither of us is particularly religious.

Hi I am 30F and I honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting, expecting too much, or if this is actually a problem, so I just need to vent and maybe get some advice from people who’ve been through something similar.

Me and my husband got married 6 months ago. It was a love marriage and we got married right after finishing our masters. I genuinely love him and he’s a good person, but lately it feels like we’re just two people existing in the same house instead of an actual married couple.

He’s extremely ambitious and honestly kind of a workaholic. He works in tech with US timings and permanently WFH, so his schedule is completely messed up. Random 2–3 AM meetings, calls all day, constant pressure, etc

The problem is… I feel completely alone in this marriage.
When I wake up, he’s on a call.
When I go to sleep, he’s on a call.
Even during the day, mentally he’s still at work.
I go to office 3 days a week, and somehow despite being married and living together, I feel lonelier than I did before marriage.

We also don’t really have similar interests earlier it was not a problem but now I don’t have anything to talk to him.
He’s very into tech, sports, games, career growth, money, achievements, becoming “super rich,” etc. And I’m not judging him for that at all he’s genuinely hardworking and doing really well professionally.
But those things just don’t emotionally fulfill me the same way.
I crave quality time, conversations, shared experiences, emotional connection, random fun together… and right now our life feels so bland and transactional.
The only thing we consistently do together is gym.
And honestly? We barely even have things to talk about anymore.
He talks about office stuff and I try to listen because I know it matters to him, but personally I hate talking about work after work. Meanwhile he doesn’t really connect with the things I enjoy either.

I think what hurts the most is that I feel like his ambition has completely consumed him. I know he loves me, but sometimes it feels like I’m somewhere at the bottom of a priority list under work, money, goals, deadlines, and “future success.”

And I feel guilty for even feeling this way because technically nothing is “wrong.”
No cheating.
No fights.
No toxicity.
No abuse.
Just… emptiness.

I keep thinking:
Is this just how early marriage feels but it’s not even a year
Or are we ignoring a bigger compatibility issue that will only grow later?

I don’t even know how to bring this up without sounding needy or unsupportive of his career.
Would really appreciate advice from married people or anyone who has gone through this phase.

I’m stuck in a weird situation at work and it’s honestly affecting my confidence.

I’m working on a project with one of my colleagues. She logs in around 11 AM and works till 11 PM or sometimes even later. If I’m unavailable, she even picks up my work and finishes it herself.

Now the problem is -management keeps comparing me with her.

“See how much she works.”
“She’s more dedicated.”
“She’s taking ownership.”
Etc etc.

The thing is, almost everyone in the team logs out around 8–8:30 PM except the manager and her. I usually log out by 8 because I genuinely have a life outside work -gym, personal responsibilities, studying for a switch, trying to stay mentally sane.

But now I constantly feel guilty for not stretching my day till midnight.

I’m already preparing for a job switch because this culture doesn’t feel sustainable to me, but hearing these comparisons again and again is mentally exhausting. It feels like boundaries are seen as lack of dedication.

Has anyone dealt with this kind of “who stays online longer = better employee” culture?

How do you stop this from affecting your self-worth while still surviving the workplace politics?

I feel like my manager values “being online” more than actual work and it’s honestly exhausting.

I wake up around 5 AM, go for a run, hit the gym from 7 to 8, and reach office by 9 AM. Most people in my project start around 10/10:30/11, but because I start early, I usually leave office around 3 or 4 PM and continue working from home. I still work till 8 PM almost every day unless there’s urgent work.

The problem is, my manager constantly praises people who stay online till 10 PM, 12 AM, even 1 AM. During daily status calls he gives them shoutouts like they’re sacrificing their lives for the company. Meanwhile, I never get acknowledged even though I’m consistently delivering my work.

What hurt the most was in a senior leadership meeting where my manager showed work I did under someone else’s name just because that person was online till 9:30 or 10. This is not even the first time something like this has happened. If I bring it up, there’s always some excuse.

I genuinely don’t expect constant appreciation from work, but at least give credit where it’s due.

And honestly, almost everyone on my team looks completely burnt out and unhealthy. No work-life balance, no fitness, nothing. They treat the manager like he’s some god just because he appreciates people for staying online late.

I’m starting to wonder if having boundaries and taking care of my health automatically makes you look “less committed” in corporate culture.