u/Friendly_Eye7505

[Lyrics] Trade with my light by ASHIN

This is the first song I've ever written. I wrote these lyrics in about 10 minutes during an emotional moment. I'd love honest feedback on the lyrics, storytelling, and overall feeling. I'm trying to improve as a songwriter.

[Verse 1]

Lost in a thought

Still figuring out what I did wrong

Too many thoughts can't control alone

Hope you would be here

I'm sorry I was wrong

But still can't figure out what I did wrong

[Chorus]

It's so dark in here

But everyone's eyes it brought daylight

Trapped in a room

It's so dark in here..

But everyone's eyes it brought daylight

[Verse 2]

Heart hold the pain

Mind know the cure

Battle begins again heart wins the game

Cure can't get but it's only the cure

It's getting darker and darker

But everyone's eyes it's still daylight

[Bridge]

I tried harder and harder to be my best for him it wasn't good

In the end trade with my light

So I'm now trapped in darker room

[Outro]

It's so dark in here

It's so dark in here

But everyone's eyes it brought daylight

reddit.com
u/Friendly_Eye7505 — 4 days ago
▲ 0 r/Suno+1 crossposts

[IndiePop] Trade with my light by ASHIN

First song I've ever written! Lyrics are mine, music and vocals were made with Suno AI (free version). Honest feedback would mean a lot. Thanks!

suno.com
u/Friendly_Eye7505 — 6 days ago