i feel like i'm watching a car crash in slow mo and i don't even care
this is a new account so nobody can find me, just to make it totally clear i'm not a robot or a figment of my your imagination
i got let go from my job and i basically put my whole life into being a Good Employee ^(tm) . that made me hella depressed and lethargic and i don't do anything which makes me more depressed. so i go drink and party with strangers every evening to boost my mood because i immediately started drinking again when i gained 40hrs in my week
i told my psych and he told me it'll blow over, maybe because i'm not like, binge drinking? he was more concerned about me being med compliant, which i am. i don't think I want to die and i told him that, but i also don't particularly care about the consequences of my actions anymore, broader speaking. i'm openly flirting when i wasn't ever that way. i spent so much money on clothes this week to reinvent myself. i drove my car after taking an edible. i'm binging and purging waaay worse than i was dealing w/ before. i'm like two bad choices away from sleeping with my husband's coworker. but this'll blow over, my husband and my psych say so. i think i just need someone to tell me to grow up or something because i'm a bad person. everyone's life would be easier if i wasn't pulling this shit but i cannot stop