u/Fslikawing01

So unknownst to me, my mom (I live with her) invited my nfather to come to our home today just to drop off some stuff (and I also believe he's psychopathic, I made posts on this sub and r/raisedbynarcissists not too long ago explaining why if you wanna check that out) and just seeing and hearing him talk absolutely triggered me to where I cried as soon as he left. I did talk to my mom afterwards explaining that I don't wanna talk to or see him, and she said she was sorry, she didn't know I no longer wanted to see him and that she wouldn't let him come over anymore, but it really did ruin my whole day.

I've been crying and left in a depressive mood all day because even just seeing him now triggers me, and it bothers me that he likes to act all nice to me in short bursts, when I know he acted like an absolute monster when I lived with him, and he still tries to cross my boundaries. He was terrible towards my mom too when they were together, (to grasp the impact, he threatened to put her in a woodchipper and feed her body to pigs in front of me when I was little) so I'm not even sure how she can stand to see him.

What also triggered me is just hearing him talk about the same stuff over and over again confirming that he hasn't changed since I last saw him (and I know he can't, but still) a bit. For example, he talked to my mom for over an hour about how much he hates other people's drama, even though he causes a lot of it himself. And he talked about how much he hates other people for victimizing him, even though that's not the case, then he proceeded to tell the same stories he likes to tell people about him being violent as a preteen.

I burst into tears as soon as he left, what also infuriated me is hearing him talk to my mom about how he "worries about me all the time" even though he doesn't worry about how he's affected my mental health or how he's treated me, and he wants to put on the face of a worried dad knowing this. And I know he doesn't care because he's always either very flat about what he's done, or wants to pretend like nothing has ever happened. I guess this is just a rant because I was so shaken up today, I needed to put it somewhere.

I put NSFW because of some disturbing detail along with animal abuse.

But my dad...

- I remember him threatening to kill my mom by putting her in a woodchipper and feeding her body to pigs when I was around 6, he also beat my uncle (mom's brother) with a club in front of me when I was the same age for trying to defend her against him.

- Used to repeatedly get me dogs and puppies as a kid, wait til I got attached to them, and then would drop them off in the middle of a street field as a way to punish me for a slight that upset him, sometimes he also made me go with him and one dog went completely missing one day

- Brags about stories of him being violent even as a preteen, one such story he likes to tell people is when he allegedly whacked another kid over the face with a hockey stick when he was 13 as hard as he could, causing blood to go everywhere and knocking his tooth out all because he thought it would give him a better school grade

- His rage is explosive (narcissistic rage) and is very frequent. It's so scary that he often appears possessed when in this state, however he can also be very cold and calculating. I remember when his ex wife (not my mom, another woman he married after) accused him of cheating for example, instead of his usual rage outbursts at everything, he remained calm. Just sitting with a smirk on his face and I seen him drop to a cold whisper when being confronted while giving vague answers and not denying the allegations, like he was enjoying she was suspecting him and calculated it.

- Stuff like this is along side his general sense of entitlement and grandiosity, for example bragging about how good looking he thinks he is and expecting everyone to validate it, getting angry if you don't, making every conversation about himself and thinking everyone should immediately cater to his needs, fishing for compliments from people.

I would guess malignant narcissist is probably what he is if he's a combination of both, what do you think about all this? and have you suspected your parent of also being a psychopath? I've heard a family rumor my dad may have had a head injury as a baby, he seemed to be violent from an early age. His 5 other siblings aren't like him at all either

I put NSFW because of some disturbing detail along with animal abuse.

But my dad...

- I remember him threatening to kill my mom by putting her in a woodchipper and feeding her body to pigs when I was around 6, he also beat my uncle (mom's brother) with a pipe in front of me when I was the same age for trying to defend her against him.

- Used to repeatedly get me dogs and puppies as a kid, wait til I got attached to them, and then would drop them off in the middle of a street field as a way to punish me for a slight that upset him, sometimes he also made me go with him and one dog went completely missing one day

- Brags about stories of him being violent even as a preteen, one such story he likes to tell people is when he allegedly whacked another kid over the face with a hockey stick when he was 13 as hard as he could, causing blood to go everywhere and knocking his tooth out all because he thought it would give him a better school grade

- His rage is explosive (narcissistic rage) and is very frequent. It's so scary that he often appears possessed when in this state, however he can also be very cold and calculating. I remember when his ex wife (not my mom, another woman he married after) accused him of cheating for example, instead of his usual rage outbursts at everything, he remained calm. Just sitting with a smirk on his face and I seen him drop to a cold whisper when being confronted while giving vague answers and not denying the allegations, like he was enjoying she was suspecting him and calculated it.

- Stuff like this is along side his general sense of entitlement and grandiosity, for example bragging about how good looking he thinks he is and expecting everyone to validate it, getting angry if you don't, making every conversation about himself and thinking everyone should immediately cater to his needs, fishing for compliments from people.

I would guess malignant narcissist is probably what he is if he's a combination of both, what do you think about all this? and have you suspected your parent of also being a psychopath? I've heard a family rumor my dad may have had a head injury as a baby, he seemed to be violent from an early age. None of his other 5 siblings are like this either

It makes me feel so bad for some reason when I shouldn't care about some reddit points, but I do because it reminds me of when people somehow misinterpret what I say irl and I feel bullied when I can't understand why I've been downvoted especially. And I hate the idea that someone assigned bad intentions to what I wrote or misunderstood me because I just wanted to provide some insight. I guess I just had to vent since this has been happening to me a lot lately, but can anyone else relate? It makes me wanna get off Reddit sometimes, people also get hostile with you for the stupidest reasons