u/Full-Cress-1679

I've been having on and off mental break downs the entire week. Basically the last three times I was like this was when I was bullied relentlessly in high school for an entire by another girl who wouldn't leave me alone online and in person, while my other friends were mostly bystanders, sending a signal to my brain it was justified. The second was when I had a huge family trauma and wasn't sleeping for months while completing my master's with an extra course. The third was at this same work place, with some of the same people who are bringing me down, but because I'm such a strong performer I was able to get the broken system they wanted to work, temporarily alleviating the endless frustration but forever I'm left with a crappy system that is so precarious people are constantly freaked out by it and I'm constantly doing damage controls. The people who want the system are higher up and won't change their mind about it.

I'm really deeply in crisis, I want to resign on monday. I feel like it's impulsive, but i've been there for years, I've legitimately lost hundreds of hours of sleep over this job, gave up dating, and basically can't not treat myself in the rare moments of my spare time to feel better (i'm talking seeing friends and taking classes. Feels ludicrous and awful). I can't bring myself to try apply to other jobs because 1) my confidence is so low because of how a lot of people treat me and past life experiences, so I constantly feel like this is as good as it gets 2) my skills have rotted maintaining our system and 3) I'm so exhausted in my spare time and spending so much trying to "heal" from work.

It's been a rollercoaster, half the company sees me as a wonderful person and high performer, the others nitpick me to death and are aggressive. I've made some genuine mistakes worthy of criticism but generally am a good worker.

I can't figure out if I'm supposed to take a leave or just quit. I know quitting kills my chance to get EI, severance etc and a leave would have a small amount of money while I'm on it but I no longer feel like life is worth living? I want to see if I can build my life in any other way than this? What would you do?

I did a Mango Language course and it was really helpful. Sadly it only had 10 chapters, I'm grateful for it though! Do you track user interest in courses and does it ever lead to a course expansion?

After two years of managing, I'm really burnt out at work, and I'm feeling pretty desperate. I think there's three parts of it.

One is management itself is exhausting, so much to keep track of, much more isolating role than I had before, and things never stop moving.

The second is my particular leadership team. Their personalities are so exhausting and always have been. They are constantly criticizing everything, me, my team. Several are severely controlling. They get mad easily and for things that are unreasonable. Now 6 people's mistakes (the amount of people I manage) become my own and I get flack for their flaws, and my own. They are never happy.

And the third is the way AI is affecting our culture. This is probably universal, and feels me with the most existential dread because I'm guessing it's a problem everywhere.

I feel like something bad is going to happen. Like I'm going to blow up in a meeting, or abruptly quit without warning, or develop addiction issues.

I love working and I have a decent work ethic, I'm a good problem solver and have really good time management skills, I'm a supportive caring manager who wants my team to have no obstacles to their jobs.

But I'm tired of feeling like what I do is never enough. The other managers around me always find flaws and want more and more. They often ambush me in meetings and then I made stupid mistakes that seem like justify their obsessive criticism and monitoring. My own manager hasn't been supportive to any issue I've brought up for months.

While being a manager I fought to keep my personal life alive but that too is a battle. Most of the events I go to, I feel half dead. I took a 5 day vacation with my family, and it became a nightmare; I could barely enjoy it. I've given up dating, and I've neglected my physical health.

But obviously the economy sucks and if I don't work it could be a long time before I find another job. I feel stuck and trapped. I truly feel like I have no light or energy left. Not having a job is a different kind of hell but I'm not sure if there's anything else I can do at this point?

I really hate shopping for clothes and I find it really overwhelming. I don't like most of my clothes and they're starting not to fit. I would FLING money at this problem, if I could wake up one day with a basic decent wardrobe I'd be so happy. I'd pay a premium for each article of clothes and the method to get it to my place. I've tried so many things to trick myself into in person and online shopping and looking at outfits for inspiration and it just doesn't work. It's like a mixture of analysis paralysis and an inability to even process clothes (I walk into a clothing store and I just see a bunch of colours. When I look at an individual piece of clothing I have no vision for it, if I would like it or what I could pair it with). I feel awful about myself lately and I think actually feeling okay about what I wear could help a little.

I can't really tell if I'm finding my current therapy helpful. I see a lot of improvements in myself, but not to toot my own horn, I'm a really reflective/analytical person that reads a lot about personal growth and emotional intelligence in my spare time so I can't tell it's my natural growth or has to do with therapy helping me.

This being said I'm very very unhappy with my life overall and I have certain blocks I can't get over. For example, for some reason after covid I couldn't get the courage to date and no matter what I do I can't get it back. I've mentioned it at therapy before but my therapist has never really said anything that helps me with it. They say I should go on dating apps but... friends could give that same advice.

Are there ways you guide yourself to know when therapy is working? How to tell if it's a therapist-client mismatch or even a format mismatch (maybe talk therapy isn't the answer for me right now but self help books are)? I feel stuck with everything - including therapy - but since I can tell I'm growing as a person I have no idea if this is a wait and trust the process or try something else.

I miss dating, and my job has been draining me for years to the point where I feel too exhausted to date. I can't leave my job right now and I can't guarantee all jobs won't stress me out, although I think this workplace is particularly bad (a lot of people with serious emotional regulation issues, anger, blame, politics are heavy and games). I've learned a LOT about surviving and coping with these things (to the point I'm too adapted, I think I deserve something a little more chill haha) but the space for something like dating is still low.

I keep holding myself back from dating because I keep saying to myself "I'll do it when I feel better at a job". Well.. sure, I could invest time trying to get another job but I also miss meeting people and don't want to wait yet another year. The economy is rough where I am and a lot of my friends have been in an out of jobs for the past 2, many currently jobless so switching jobs is another big mountain to climb.

So basically I know my job is going to be a battle for a while, but I still want to try dating again. The way I see it, work life is going to be hard for a while regardless so I'd like to go out of my comfort zone and date during it anyway. Does anyone have any tips for dating and meeting people while exhausted?

When you can't make a trip should you still cancel the via ticket, even if you don't get a refund? I'm assuming yes so it opens a spot for another person?

I have a massive gap in my life where I did very little but work (2020-2025). I guess I'm telling myself I did more in 2025 just because I started going to community centres and stuff but its hard for me to not feel like that's extremely lame compared to people buying houses and having kids.

I was 25-30 during this time period.

I want to make up for lost time and do all the stuff I should've. But usually I just get overwhelmed and do nothing. It's not like work is going away either, my job comes with stress and there's only so much free time I have to make up for the time lost.

How do you make up for lost time?

I daydream over pictures I see of places in Quebec and the East coast, Alberta, BC, and beyond but I don't drive.

I really miss seeing mountains and ocean and would like to see more.