u/Full-Platypus8818

I just wanna start up by saying I don’t really know how to use Reddit. I don’t know where I could post this so I could get better answers so I’m posting this here. I’m 19 F and ever since I was a little kid I’ve been always struggled with sleeping. I could never sleep even if I did sleep. I would always wake up late the next day. This has always happened to me and this really affected my school.Now that I’m older I’ve realized that my sleep problems have been deeply affecting my academic life and my personal life. Every time I wake up late now I feel disgusted with myself. It’s currently 2:40 AM and Im wide awake. My doctors pointless and useless. I have been recently diagnosed with ADHD and I have been taking Vyvanse for a couple months now and I’ve heard that medication also affects your sleep, but I’ve been having the same issue for years now. Does anybody have any advise anything to fix my sleep schedule? I wanna be the person where they sleep at 10 PM wake up at like 6 AM. I don’t remember the last time I slept before 12.

I am a 20F, and my boyfriend is 19M. I am Tamil, and my parents are extremely strict and controlling. I’ve been dating him for over a year now, and they recently found out.
I went out of state to visit my cousin for her birthday. It turns out she found out I had a boyfriend and told my sister, who then told my cousins, and eventually my whole family found out.
The way my cousin found out is honestly ridiculous. She’s my age, and she prank-called me by getting her friend to pretend to like me. My boyfriend got upset and called from his own phone, which resulted in her having his number. She kept his number for six months, and when I went to visit, she told my sister. Then my sister and my cousins prank-called him, threatened him, and got the rest of my family involved. I got into so much trouble because of it.
What hurts the most is that I always had my cousin’s back. I genuinely supported her, defended her, and never thought she’d be the one to expose something so personal about my life. The girl she used to prank-call me has also never liked me. She’s always tried to put me down and make me feel small, so it hurts knowing my own cousin chose to side with someone like that instead of protecting me.
The thing is, my family is family friends with my boyfriend’s family. They invite each other to events, say hi at the temple, and they’re even the same caste. My parents care so much about caste, yet they still refuse to accept him. They keep saying it’s embarrassing because people in his family married outside of their caste. They say I’ll never marry him, and if I choose to disobey them, they’ll cut me off. My aunt doesn’t even talk to me anymore.
I genuinely hate how this family makes me feel. They drain the life out of me, and it feels like the only way to escape is to marry a man who has the exact same values as them. Even if my boyfriend and I don’t work out, I want that to be \*my\* decision. I want autonomy over my own life. I’ve been trying to stay positive because this has been an issue for over 10 years, but it’s hard when I’m constantly reminded of it.
I don’t even know where to start right now. I don’t know how to move on, and I genuinely don’t know what to do. I try not to think about it, but it always comes back. I feel drained.
His parents don’t know about us, and my parents don’t want to tell them because they’re embarrassed. Their views on women are honestly disgusting and degrading, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel stuck. I feel drained and controlled. It feels extremely wrong to rebel against them because I grew up being controlled and manipulated. I just don’t know what to do.
Do you think they’ll ever come around?
Any advice would really help. I’ve always been the black sheep of the family. I feel like I have no one because everyone in my family is against me. I feel completely alone.
The only people I really have are my good friends and my amazing boyfriend

I am a 20F, and my boyfriend is 19M. I am Tamil, and my parents are extremely strict and controlling. I’ve been dating him for over a year now, and they recently found out.
I went out of state to visit my cousin for her birthday. It turns out she found out I had a boyfriend and told my sister, who then told my cousins, and eventually my whole family found out.
The way my cousin found out is honestly ridiculous. She’s my age, and she prank-called me by getting her friend to pretend to like me. My boyfriend got upset and called from his own phone, which resulted in her having his number. She kept his number for six months, and when I went to visit, she told my sister. Then my sister and my cousins prank-called him, threatened him, and got the rest of my family involved. I got into so much trouble because of it.
What hurts the most is that I always had my cousin’s back. I genuinely supported her, defended her, and never thought she’d be the one to expose something so personal about my life. The girl she used to prank-call me has also never liked me. She’s always tried to put me down and make me feel small, so it hurts knowing my own cousin chose to side with someone like that instead of protecting me.
The thing is, my family is family friends with my boyfriend’s family. They invite each other to events, say hi at the temple, and they’re even the same caste. My parents care so much about caste, yet they still refuse to accept him. They keep saying it’s embarrassing because people in his family married outside of their caste. They say I’ll never marry him, and if I choose to disobey them, they’ll cut me off. My aunt doesn’t even talk to me anymore.
I genuinely hate how this family makes me feel. They drain the life out of me, and it feels like the only way to escape is to marry a man who has the exact same values as them. Even if my boyfriend and I don’t work out, I want that to be *my* decision. I want autonomy over my own life. I’ve been trying to stay positive because this has been an issue for over 10 years, but it’s hard when I’m constantly reminded of it.
I don’t even know where to start right now. I don’t know how to move on, and I genuinely don’t know what to do. I try not to think about it, but it always comes back. I feel drained.
His parents don’t know about us, and my parents don’t want to tell them because they’re embarrassed. Their views on women are honestly disgusting and degrading, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel stuck. I feel drained and controlled. It feels extremely wrong to rebel against them because I grew up being controlled and manipulated. I just don’t know what to do.
Do you think they’ll ever come around?
Any advice would really help. I’ve always been the black sheep of the family. I feel like I have no one because everyone in my family is against me. I feel completely alone.
The only people I really have are my good friends and my amazing boyfriend