u/Fun_Tie1917

AITA for expecting my ex-roommate to venmo me the $300 we agreed on?

So this is a long one. Bear with me.

Me (25F), my roommate Oliva, and a guy Jesse (23M) all moved into a new place together in July 2025. We'd lived together before so we thought it would work out fine.

Shortly after we moved in, my friend Jacob needed a place to stay. He was only supposed to be there two weeks. Six months later he's still here but it's lowkey fine becase. He pays maybe $300 toward an $800 rent share, usually late, sometimes not at all. He used to sleep on the couch and bring his promoter friends home constantly which drove Jesse insane. Jesse nagged him about it and he mostly stopped. Jacob gives us free coke which is honestly why we don't push him too hard on the rent stuff. Jesse doesn't partake and was always weird about the liability thing since Jacob isn't on the lease.

Also when we first moved in Jesse spotted me $800 for my security deposit. We agreed verbally I'd pay him back by covering his utility share. I've been doing that since October. I think. It's a little complicated because Jacob sometimes contributes and I handle all the bills through autopay and I don't always check the portal super carefully. But I did sit down with Jesse and walk him through it once to show him it was covered. He seemed satisfied.

Jesse clearly hated the living situation and decided to leave. He's also a teacher so he's just kind of uptight in general. He found our friend Ally to take over his spot on the lease. The whole process took about a month and the leasing company was really strict about it. They sent us a scary email about paying on time even though we always pay, just sometimes a few days late.

We worked out the financial transition together. Ally would pay Jesse back his portion of the security deposit directly. Jesse and I agreed explicitly that once Alyssa sent him that money, he would Venmo me $300 out of it to cover his utility share for April and May.

Ally sent him the money. I never received the $300.

I've texted him multiple times. He keeps saying he wants to wait until June 1st to see a full breakdown of everything before he pays anything. He says he wants one complete accounting, not piecemeal payments. I kind of agreed to June 1st in conversation but I feel like the $300 was already a separate explicit agreement we made before that.

He's never acted like this with money before. He always paid rent on time, every single month, never late once. Now he's completely moved out, off the lease, has Ally's deposit money, and I'm having to chase him down.

Is he just being petty because he hated the living situation? AITA for being upset about this?

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u/Fun_Tie1917 — 7 hours ago

Hey all,

I’m moving soon out of a shared row house to my own space.

I’m sure I’ll need to get a parking permit for the Rittenhouse area (I’m on 20th st).

Not sure if I’ll need one for the small side street that I’m on currently in point breeze.

Has anyone had any experience with moving to/from these areas? Thanks.

Edit: I am using a U-Haul, not a car. I do not have a car!

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u/Fun_Tie1917 — 23 days ago

Just wanted to clear things up since my last post.

First off I appreciate all the advice. It is very helpful and validating to hear that this is NOT okay.

I officially move in 35 days. I am currently in waiting mode because a new tenant (one of my roommate's friends) is taking over my spot. The property management company is supposed to send the lease addendum this week. Since I need my current roommates to sign that paperwork to let me off the hook, I can't go nuclear yet. I’m protecting my peace to ensure my departure goes smoothly.

At 6:15 AM today, I walked into the kitchen to find that he had another random girl staying on the couch. No text, no heads-up, despite him literally promising me 12 hours prior that he’d stop doing that. I sent a firm text (see screenshot) letting him know that as a non-paying guest, this is unacceptable. I felt very scared to send that but moreso I was just so upset and angry.

He didn't respond. When I got home, he was just mopey and half asleep on the couch. My roommates have blown up at him before and he usually just shuts down, so I’m not worried about my safety. He even grabbed my package for me while I was at work. I’m now storing all my valuables in my room just to be safe. Still, I'm sure he has "connections" given his promoter job and his "side hustle".

Even if I wanted to raise hell, I have to be careful because of my two cats. I know how you guys feel about them. I don't have anyone nearby who can take them in, and I'm not willing to give them up. I don't have a car to transport them either. I’ve had them since October, and while one just got ESA certified for my new lease two weeks ago, I still don’t want to give the landlord any reason to look too closely at the house dynamics or the pets until that addendum is signed and I’m out.

Just counting down the days until I'm in my own stable, quiet environment. 35 days to go.

u/Fun_Tie1917 — 25 days ago

I (23M) am a first-grade teacher. My alarm goes off at 5:30 AM every single morning. I live in a row home with two roommates and what was supposed to be a "temporary guest" (30M) back in February. He was only supposed to crash in our spare room for two weeks. It’s almost May and he’s still here.

He refuses to get on the lease. The rest of us pay $900/month, but he told my roommates he "couldn't afford it" so they let him slide with $400.

Because he’s a club promoter, his life begins when mine ends. He spends all day asleep on the living room couch, hungover, drinking, doing blow, or talking loudly on the phone. He’s a total slob. He cooks constantly but never cleans a single dish. It got so bad that I’ve literally started washing my own dishes in my bathroom sink just to avoid the kitchen entirely.

Every night is a gamble. He brings people over anywhere from 3 PM to 6 AM for "afters." I’ve had to resort to a "white noise defense" just to sleep: a white noise machine, noise-canceling headphones, and a high-powered fan all at once.

I’ve confirmed with him multiple times that he needs to text the group when people are coming over. He always says yes, then rarely does it. I finally sent a fresh text to the group chat (pics attached) today asking for a heads-up and a leave time since I’m moving out in 30 days and need a predictable environment to pack and keep my sanity.

Right after I sent that, I heard him on the phone telling a girl to come over. She showed up 10 minutes later. Only after she was already in the house did he finally reply to the text saying, "I never saw this message until she was about to be here." Then he pulled the "let me know specifics so I can understand you better my dawg" card. He knows exactly what the "specifics" are, he just doesn't care.

Since he refuses to respect my need for sleep, I’ve stopped respecting his. When I get up for work at 5:30 AM, I turn on every single light in the common areas while I get ready for my students. It’s finally annoyed him enough that he’s started crawling into the spare bedroom to sleep instead of the couch, but he's still a parasite.

I can't even report him because I have two cats that aren't on the lease, and my roommates share his lifestyle, so they’d just retaliate against me. We've got a new roommate (a friend of theirs who is officially taking over my lease - so I just need to wait til my roommates have resigned that addendum) so I am counting down the seconds until my lease is up in June. I know people like this have no feelings and don't care about their impact on anyone else, but I am just so done.

(I know some of you may say I sound harsh or petty, and that's fine. I have tried being the chill roommate for months. He agrees to everything and changes nothing. When you are a first-grade teacher running on 4 hours of sleep because a 30-year-old man is hosting coke fueled afters in your living room on a Tuesday, I have no choice but to stand my ground. I am really losing my mind.)

u/Fun_Tie1917 — 26 days ago