u/FutureAIgod

At the start of 2026, I made a promise to myself that I would seriously try to become a better version of myself — not just physically, but also mentally. I wanted to stop feeling stuck and actually put effort into improving myself.

Over the past months, I genuinely worked hard on my appearance and health:

I improved my posture through posture correction exercises. It's still not perfect, but there is already a visible difference.

I lost weight from 52 kg to 45 kg (I'm 4'11" F).

I started taking better care of my hair and now get treatments at salons.

I began buying clothes that actually fit me better and make me look more put together.

Objectively, I know these are improvements. People would probably say I look better now than before.

But the weird thing is… internally, I still feel almost the same. I'm still awkward socially. Still shy. Still hesitant around people. Still lacking confidence.

I thought improving my appearance would automatically make me more confident, but it didn't happen the way I expected. Sometimes I even feel frustrated because I know how much effort I put into changing myself.

I don't understand, I improved. Why am I still like this? What did I do wrong? What should I do?

This 2026, I vowed to the best or at least become a better version of myself. I promised that I will improve my appearance and upskill.

I did improved my appearance:

* I improved my posture (i did posture correction exercises and my posture did visibly improved though not fully correct yet.

* I lost weight from 52 kg to 45 kg (I'm 4'11" F btw)

* I now get my hair treated at a salon

* I buy better looking clothes

But despite of those, I'm still not confident, still awkward, still shy.

I don't understand, I improved myself and it took me a great effort. Why am I still like this? What did I do wrong? What should I do?

My bf and I broke up last February. And now, the loneliness start to creep in and it's growing. We are LDR, we never meet in person. But I really felt the emptiness now that we're over. I don't miss him, I don't, but I miss having a bf. I miss having someone.

I miss saying and receiving "I love you"

I miss the long affectionate video calls

I miss the sweet voice messages

I miss typing "babyyyyyyyy"

I miss using this emoji 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

I miss receiving compliments "You're so beautiful my love"

I miss giving compliments "You're so handsome babyyyyy"

I miss talking sweetly in third person "Did my babyyyyy eat already"

My bf is 7 years younger than me so when we're together I know it will end soon. But I did not expect that it will affect me this way.

I never had a bf in person, all are online and he's the only one I had serious relationship with. Now, getting a bf in my city is not possible for a specific reason. I get back on dating apps but I end up uninstalling them. Most of the matches I get are perverts, some ghosted me, some I ghosted (yeah you can judge me on that), a few are just fishing for instagram followers. I downloaded other apps hoping for the better but those are heavily paywalled and have a lot of ads. So I delete them all.

Now that I'm 31 I realized that it's my fault that I did not get bf here. I did not take good care of my looks on my teenage years and my 20s. On my teenage years, we were in poverty and I can't afford stuff and products to make myself prettier. Though keeping my hair tidy is very doable, but I failed even that. On my 20s I can already afford it but still I failed to do that. My hair is unkempt and messy, I did not dress femininely, I did not even wear lipstick. Maybe it's because I'm used to it and looking unkempt became my default setting. One of my male coworker even mentioned that I'm pretty if I just know how to take care of my looks.

I did some effort to change that now.

I did some posture correction exercises and my posture improved visibly though it's not fully correct yet.

I lost weight from 52 to 45 kg. I'm 4'11" btw

I started buying better looking clothes

I now get my hair treated at a salon.

I even get my nails done. Though I did that not to improve my looks but to feel delighted everytime I look at my nails

But there are some things I can't do even I really I wanted too

I don't wear dresses. ( Though this year I was able to wear a dress once for my friend's wedding, and I'll wear it again on my another friend's wedding this june)

I dont wear lipstick

The reason is that doing those will only get me teased a lot and get unwanted attention. I was already treated bad here and I don't want to make it worse. Doing that will only make me feel bad, the jokes and humiliation that I'll get greatly outweighs the satisfaction and joy that I'll get when I do those things. I have bipolar disorder and was even bullied at work. But after 2 years I already submitted a complaint on CSC (I'm in the Philippines and I work in the city govt, but I'm not a permanent worker yet) and the case is still ongoing now.

I'm working on moving out of the city. But the opportunity is not there yet. I have to make sure that I already secured a job there before moving out, I cant afford to be broke. I take meds and get therapy and those cost much, I also support my parents. I do have savings but it's not enough my expenses will eat it quicky if I don't have work.

I really really hope I can move out soon. When I'm already on the city that no one knows me. I can finally do everything I want - to look and feel feminine and at least have a chance to get a bf in person.

I'm sick of hearing "Stop chasing butterflies, build a garden.......". It does not work, the butterflies in my place doesn't want to be near my garden. That's why I need to go to other place.

I'm not even hoping for the true love, marriage, happy ever after stuff. I'm not dilusional. I don't even dream to have kids, I don't think I'll be a good mother since I'm too insecure and I have bipolar disorder. I'm fine with being a placeholder. All I want is to have someone to pour my affection and to receive affection too.

My standards are too low actually

\* Not a pervert

\* Not a criminal

\* To be at least on the same financial status as me, being richer than me would be nice haha. But being on the same level will do.

\* Not ugly, of course I know I can't get a handsome man. All I want is to be at least the same level of my looks haha, not beautiful but not ugly.

\*Will not cheat on me while we're together, if he doesn't want me anymore he can just leave.

They say that women don't need men. Yeah you could say that, I don't need a man. But I long for it, I want it, I crave it. I have so much affection to give, so much it overflows.

How do I cope with an intense longing for affection while I'm stuck in a holding pattern of life?

My bf and I broke up last February. And now, the loneliness start to creep in and it's growing. We are LDR, we never meet in person. But I really felt the emptiness now that we're over. I don't miss him, I don't, but I miss having a bf. I miss having someone.

I miss saying and receiving "I love you"

I miss the long affectionate video calls

I miss the sweet voice messages

I miss typing "babyyyyyyyy"

I miss using this emoji 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

I miss receiving compliments "You're so beautiful my love"

I miss giving compliments "You're so handsome babyyyyy"

I miss talking sweetly in third person "Did my babyyyyy eat already"

My bf is 7 years younger than me so when we're together I know it will end soon. But I did not expect that it will affect me this way.

I never had a bf in person, all are online and he's the only one I had serious relationship with. Now, getting a bf in my city is not possible for a specific reason. I get back on dating apps but I end up uninstalling them. Most of the matches I get are perverts, some ghosted me, some I ghosted (yeah you can judge me on that), a few are just fishing for instagram followers. I downloaded other apps hoping for the better but those are heavily paywalled and have a lot of ads. So I delete them all.

Now that I'm 31 I realized that it's my fault that I did not get bf here. I did not take good care of my looks on my teenage years and my 20s. On my teenage years, we were in poverty and I can't afford stuff and products to make myself prettier. Though keeping my hair tidy is very doable, but I failed even that. On my 20s I can already afford it but still I failed to do that. My hair is unkempt and messy, I did not dress femininely, I did not even wear lipstick. Maybe it's because I'm used to it and looking unkempt became my default setting. One of my male coworker even mentioned that I'm pretty if I just know how to take care of my looks.

I did some effort to change that now.

I did some posture correction exercises and my posture improved visibly though it's not fully correct yet.

I lost weight from 52 to 45 kg. I'm 4'11" btw

I started buying better looking clothes

I now get my hair treated at a salon.

I even get my nails done. Though I did that not to improve my looks but to feel delighted everytime I look at my nails

But there are some things I can't do even I really I wanted too

I don't wear dresses. ( Though this year I was able to wear a dress once for my friend's wedding, and I'll wear it again on my another friend's wedding this june)

I dont wear lipstick

The reason is that doing those will only get me teased a lot and get unwanted attention. I was already treated bad here and I don't want to make it worse. Doing that will only make me feel bad, the jokes and humiliation that I'll get greatly outweighs the satisfaction and joy that I'll get when I do those things. I have bipolar disorder and was even bullied at work. But after 2 years I already submitted a complaint on CSC (I'm in the Philippines and I work in the city govt, but I'm not a permanent worker yet) and the case is still ongoing now.

I'm working on moving out of the city. But the opportunity is not there yet. I have to make sure that I already secured a job there before moving out, I cant afford to be broke. I take meds and get therapy and those cost much, I also support my parents. I do have savings but it's not enough my expenses will eat it quicky if I don't have work.

I really really hope I can move out soon. When I'm already on the city that no one knows me. I can finally do everything I want - to look and feel feminine and at least have a chance to get a bf in person.

I'm sick of hearing "Stop chasing butterflies, build a garden.......". It does not work, the butterflies in my place doesn't want to be near my garden. That's why I need to go to other place.

I'm not even hoping for the true love, marriage, happy ever after stuff. I'm not dilusional. I don't even dream to have kids, I don't think I'll be a good mother since I'm too insecure and I have bipolar disorder. I'm fine with being a placeholder. All I want is to have someone to pour my affection and to receive affection too.

My standards are too low actually

* Not a pervert

* Not a criminal

* To be at least on the same financial status as me, being richer than me would be nice haha. But being on the same level will do.

* Not ugly, of course I know I can't get a handsome man. All I want is to be at least the same level of my looks haha, not beautiful but not ugly.

*Will not cheat on me while we're together, if he doesn't want me anymore he can just leave.

They say that women don't need men. Yeah you could say that, I don't need a man. But I long for it, I want it, I crave it. I have so much affection to give, so much it overflows.

I'm not a physicist by any means, but time is a topic I find endlessly fascinating. What unproven theories about its nature do physicists generally agree on or lean toward? Genuinely curious to hear from people who know far more than I do.

I'm not a physicist by any means, but time is a topic I find endlessly fascinating. What unproven theories about its nature do physicists generally agree on or lean toward? Genuinely curious to hear from people who know far more than I do.

I saw a girl several times and I have observed that people faked sneeze when she's around. Sigeg clag hatching if naa siya. Can you give me context please. Thanks

I’m curious whether any serious frameworks in modern physics (for example in quantum mechanics, retrocausality, or time-symmetric formulations) allow effects that appear to propagate backward in time, while still remaining mathematically and experimentally consistent.

I’m curious whether any serious frameworks in modern physics (for example in quantum mechanics, retrocausality, or time-symmetric formulations) allow effects that appear to propagate backward in time, while still remaining mathematically and experimentally consistent.

From what I understand, the First Law (energy conservation) is essentially exact, while the Second Law is more statistical — entropy *can* decrease, it's just extremely unlikely at large scales.

So are there any known or hypothetical physical scenarios where energy is fully conserved but entropy still decreases? Even microscopic or thought-experiment cases count. I'm not talking about perpetual motion or anything like that — just curious about where the two laws actually come apart.

I’ve been thinking about the fundamental differences between the First and Second Laws of Thermodynamics. While the First Law (Conservation of Energy) seems to be a hard constraint based on time-translation symmetry, the Second Law is often described as statistical or probabilistic in nature.

​I’m curious if there are any recognized processes—either observed at the microscopic scale or proposed in thought experiments—where energy is perfectly conserved , yet the total entropy of the system (or the universe) decreases.

I’ve been thinking about the fundamental differences between the First and Second Laws of Thermodynamics. While the First Law (Conservation of Energy) seems to be a hard constraint based on time-translation symmetry, the Second Law is often described as statistical or probabilistic in nature.

​I’m curious if there are any recognized processes—either observed at the microscopic scale or proposed in thought experiments—where energy is perfectly conserved , yet the total entropy of the system (or the universe) decreases.

I would like to know how the physicists here formally describe the structure of time. I only have below moderate physics knowledge but I'm so fascinated about the nature of time. I have read that theres no consensus among scientists about this yet. I would like to know what's your take on this. Thanks!

I would like to know how the physicists here formally describe the structure of time. I only have below moderate physics knowledge but I'm so fascinated about the nature of time. I have read that theres no consensus among scientists about this yet. I would like to know what's your take on this. Thanks!