u/Fuzzy_Variation_1016

As the title says, I just got my first bike. Brand would probably be unfamiliar to most, it's on the cheaper end from a local shop but it's new and feels very comfortable and not too heavy. So I'm feeling very good about that.

However, I'm very anxious about using it to commute to work. So much so that I'm planning my first ride around midnight or early early morning to avoid people and try to practice a bit.

I grew up in the country side where I used to cycle as a kid/teen with no worry as there was no traffic/wide empty roads.

In the city I live in driving culture is awful. It's stressful even when I'm in my car so I can imagine it wont be easy on a bike. We dont have many bike lanes so I would be mostly driving on the sidewalk with people.

My question is: Any advice, sth you wish someone told you, anything to watch out for, anyone who also had anxiety around this?

Basically any insight is welcome since I feel like I'm stepping into the complete unknown.

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I've been on both sides of the coin. Im not saying people struggling with mental health are inherently selfish, but I am saying that these issues will often lead you into not being your most giving self (duuuh). And it's okay. It's okay to say it - yes I am selfish, yes you are selfish. Yes I did stay in my room and rot for a month and ignored you even though I know that hurts you. Yes I was depressed and selfish, I chose my feelings over yours. So what? Life's often shitty, we are all shitty people at some point so what. I lost a lot of friends during that time of my life and I'm not angry at that, they are allowed to say I was selfish for not responding, calling back or putting ANY effort. Mental health is not a ticket for forgiveness.

I am also allowed to be hurt by other people who are struggling and therefore not in the capacity to give.

I guess this is just my way of making sense of those situations without the pressure of forgiveness or understanding on any side. It feels very freeing to acknowledge the selfishness without immediately jumping to say - but I/they didnt have a choice they were depressed. Yes I didnt have a choice and it also turned out to be selfish. Where to draw the line even? For me rn I make sense of these things by allowing myself to name selfish behaviours as selfish. Strictly behaviours, not the person behind it. At a diff phase in my life I will probably move to another way of understanding these things, but right now this frame of mind feels very freeing.

Anyone relating? Any thoughts? Open to changing my mind and learning new things.

For 7 years now. I used to love seeing it, now it gives me chills. Accompanied by deja vu, and sometimes after seeing it its like a lesson unfolds in my life. Edit: and dreams about or containing the number. My dob is 23.09.2001.

Would appreciate any insight so I could try to connect some pieces? Or how to properly research it?

For 7 years now. I used to love seeing it, now it gives me chills. Accompanied by deja vu, and sometimes after seeing it its like a lesson unfolds in my life. Edit: and dreams about or containing the number. My dob is 23.09.2001.

Would appreciate any insight so I could try to connect some pieces? Or how to properly research it?