u/GenderedPhoenix

My (26 ftm) girlfriend (29 mtf) is getting facial feminization surgery in a few weeks.

I've basically been freaking out these last few days, and my anxiety is so bad I've been throwing up and being extremely depressed.

She's getting it on her brow ridge, eyes, nose, chin, jawline, adams apple, AND gave her scalp pushed forward.

I didn't realize how much happens during these procedures until recently especially with how the scalp will be pushed forward...

I've been having nightmares and day dreams of something bad happening during the surgery....

I'm also scared because I'm going through multiple health issues, trying to deal with a recent diagnosis I got, still dealing with my mom recently getting spinal fusion surgery... There's so much going on. I'll be, as far as I know, the main one taking care of her. But the last time she had a surgery (Nuss surgery), I ended up breaking down because of how much pain she was in sometimes and me not being able to do anything except give her meds on time and make her as comfortable as possible.

But there's so much going into this upcoming surgery. And I don't know what to even get her or do to help support her post-surgery...

She's also really stressed too, but won't talk much about it. We've also been having random arguments due to the stress of it all, on top of our mixed health issues/disabilities and trying to navigate life in a world that's making it harder for us to do even basic things.

I seriously love her. I even plan on proposing to her in a few months after she heals more from her surgery. (We've talked about proposing a few times before.)

But the strain this surgery is putting on us and the relationship before she even had the surgery, is worrying me. Mostly because I'm worried about her and I want her to communicate her worries with me. But she'll seem distant whenever I try to have her talk to me about it. I've also tried distracting her and giving her space to process everything, but that doesn't seem to do much either.

Has anyone else on here either had ffs, or has a partner who had it, who can give me advice on how to make things easier for her? Either before surgery or after?

I've been having issues getting on Washington's SSI.

I used to be on it as a baby, but was suddenly cut off by the state, with no reason why.

I struggle with both mental and physical disabilities. More than I've been officially diagnosed with. (I've been trying to get diagnosed for my other issues for a few years now, but my doctor has either pushed it off, or my psych kept gaslighting me. I'm currently now searching for a new counselor and psych to at least help with my mental disabilities.)

I've been struggling with SSI for over 2 years now. Last year I finally had a court hearing for my case, with help from my SSI attorney. But I lost the case. A few days afterward, he called me and chewed me out saying I didn't tell my doctor and therapists the same issues I've been telling him. (Which is wrong. They just weren't doing their jobs and adding my symptoms/issues in my files, like I kepr asking them to do, and that my attorney himself, tried to push them to do.)

He was this whole different person. Extremely rude, putting all the blame on me, wouldn't listen to me at all.

As far as I know, he's still my attorney. SSI is still sending letters to both me and him. I know this because they have his address at the bottom of their letters to me, stating that they've also sent a copy to his business address.

But he hasn't contacted me at all, and his secretary has stopped replying to my emails for several months. (I don't overwhelm them with emails. Just sent some asking if they know anything about my current appeal, and sometimes update them on my current medical status, changes in diagnosis, doctors and meds, etc. Which is what he originally wanted me to do.)

2 weeks ago, I got a letter saying my current appeal is being sent to an Administrative Law Judge. Usually my attorney would have called me by now to talk about what our next steps are. But he never did.

So I emailed him at the start of last week, asking what we should do, do I need to talk with him personally, etc. Along with an update on my current meds and my new ABA therapist.

I've got no reply. No calls from him, no emails.

I don't know if he's even still on my case anymore. The state is still sending my SSI letters to both him and me. So surely he still is? But it's like he's given up on me without any warning.

Should I try calling him and ask what's going on?

I'm honestly scared to because of how upset he was last time. He also didn't seem to want to talk to me as soon as I told him my mom wasn't home. (She usually joined me in my calls with him, since she's been my biggest help/support through these SSI issues.) and used it as some excuse to talk rudely to me.

I'm FINALLY making progress in seeing the right doctors for my issues. And I'm hoping they'll help my case since my biggest issues haven't been diagnosed by a qualified doctor yet. (They were only diagnosed by my general practitioner until I kept pushing to get a referral to see a rheumatologist and some therapist who's both qualified to get me tested for some issues and also won't gaslight me like my last one did.)

I'm just lost on what to do. I've lost so much money on my last case because my attorney pushed me to see this psych he knows, who had me pay him $700 (which was over a year of my savings), who did 1 appointment with me before my last court case and didn't help at all. And at this point I've lost hope that my attorney himself, will even help. Even though he was one of the only ones who originally wanted to take my case.

How do I even contact him in a way that helps me know what's going on? It would help a lot to at least know that he's still on my case or for him to even say himself that he's given up on me, so that I can at least take the next steps needed to find someone else who can help.

Location: Washington state, USA

I've been having issues getting on Washington's SSI.

I used to be on it as a baby, but was suddenly cut off by the state, with no reason why.

I struggle with both mental and physical disabilities. More than I've been officially diagnosed with. (I've been trying to get diagnosed for my other issues for a few years now, but my doctor has either pushed it off, or my psych kept gaslighting me. I'm currently now searching for a new counselor and psych to at least help with my mental disabilities.)

I've been struggling with getting on SSI for over 2 years now. Last year I finally had a court hearing for my case, with help from my SSI attorney. But I lost the case. A few days afterward, he called me and chewed me out saying I didn't tell my doctor and therapists the same issues I've been telling him. (Which is wrong. They just weren't doing their jobs and adding my symptoms/issues in my files, like I kepr asking them to do, and that my attorney himself, tried to push them to do.)

He was this whole different person. Extremely rude, putting all the blame on me, wouldn't listen to me at all.

As far as I know, he's still my attorney. SSI is still sending letters to both me and him. But he hasn't contacted me at all, and his secretary has stopped replying to my emails for several months. (I don't overwhelm them with emails. Just sent some asking if they know anything about my current appeal, and sometimes update them on my current medical status, changes in diagnosis and meds, etc. Which is what he originally wanted me to do.)

2 weeks ago, I got a letter saying my current appeal is being sent to an Administrative Law Judge. Usually my attorney would have called me by now to talk about what our next steps are. But he never did.

So I emailed him at the start of last week, asking what we should do, do I need to talk with him personally, etc. Along with an update on my current meds and my new ABA therapist.

I've got no reply. No calls from him, no emails.

I don't know if he's even still on my case anymore. The state is still sending my SSI letters to both him and me. So surely he still is? But it's like he's given up on me without any warning.

Should I try calling him and ask what's going on?

I'm honestly scared to because of how upset he was last time. He also didn't seem to want to talk to me as soon as I told him my mom wasn't home. (She usually joined me in my calls with him, since she's been my biggest help/support through these SSI issues.) and used it as some excuse to talk rudely to me.

I'm FINALLY making progress in seeing the right doctors for my issues. And I'm hoping they'll help my case since my biggest issues haven't been diagnosed by a qualified doctor yet. (They were only diagnosed by my general practitioner until I kept pushing to get a referral to see a rheumatologist and some therapist who's both qualified to get me tested for some issues and also won't gaslight me like my last one did.)

I'm just lost on what to do. I've lost so much money on my last case because my attorney pushed me to see this psych he knows, who had me pay him $700 (which was over a year of my savings), who did 1 appointment with me before my last court case and didn't help at all. And at this point I've lost hope that my attorney himself, will even help. Even though he was one of the only ones who originally wanted to take my case.

How do I even contact him in a way that helps me know what's going on? It would help a lot to at least know that he's still on my case or for him to even say himself that he's given up on me, so that I can at least take the next steps needed to find someone else who can help.

Hello, I apologize if this is the wrong subreddit.

My mom will be getting spinal fusion surgery within 1 to 2 weeks. (Depending on when her surgeon calls her to schedule the surgery. It's REALLY close though.)

Is there anything I should get to help her with her recovery? I honestly don't know much about the specifics of her personal surgery, but it's been very stressful due to her current health and the fact that we just don't have much help. (My dad will be home from work for an undetermined amount of time to help, but that won't be long since he's our household's only source of income due to my mom staying at home for my sisters and I, and me being disabled.) I want to be able to help in any way possible, so I thought that I could get some items for her to help with recovery. But I'm unsure of what exactly I should get that'll be helpful for this kind of surgery.