u/Glass-Grade2455

don’t really know how to explain this without it sounding strange, but I’ve been dealing with really bad OCD and overthinking for months now and it’s gotten to the point where I barely remember what it was like to just read something normally.

It started with me becoming way too aware of whether I was actually understanding what I was reading. Then I started questioning definitions of words I’ve known forever. Things like guilty, sentencing, trial, law, government, ownership, buying and selling, what a company is, what it means to order someone to do something. Just completely normal concepts that I never had trouble understanding before.

I’d ask myself what something “really” means, come up with the definition, then question the words in that definition. Then I’d question that explanation too. I’ve done this so much that sometimes familiar words just feel blank now.

It’s gotten ridiculously basic. The other day I got stuck on the word “garden” and started wondering whether a garden meant the actual plants and flowers or the tiled/walking area around them. I know that sounds almost absurd written out, but that’s genuinely where my mind is at. Instead of just seeing a garden and understanding the whole thing normally from context, my brain wants to dissect exactly what part the word refers to. Then I’m questioning something I would never have given a second thought to before.

I haven’t properly read a book or watched TV normally in months. Even imagining something while I’m reading has become something I check. I’ll picture the scene and immediately think, “Wait, did I imagine that correctly? Is that actually what happened?” Before all of this, I obviously never sat around thinking about how I understood things. I just understood them and moved on.

It’s honestly gotten so bad that sometimes I feel like I don’t even know what reality is anymore. I don’t mean that literally, like I don’t know where I am or think the world is fake. I mean I’ve questioned normal everyday knowledge for so long that things I’ve known for years can suddenly feel completely unfamiliar.

And I’ve been praying through all of this constantly. Every day I pray Hail Marys and Our Fathers, but a lot of the time I also just talk to God normally. Nothing formal or eloquent. I’ll literally lie there and plead with the Lord to please help me, heal my mind, let me read normally again, let me understand things without questioning everything, and give me some peace. Sometimes I don’t even know what else to say anymore besides, “Lord, please help me.”

The OCD has started grabbing onto religious concepts too. I can suddenly find myself questioning exactly what grace means, what a blessing means, what healing means — things I wasn’t confused about before. I really don’t want my relationship with God to turn into another endless definition-checking exercise.

I miss just reading. I miss watching something and following the story. I miss learning about something without stopping to examine whether I understood every word correctly. And I miss being able to pray without my mind finding something else to question.

If anyone here has gone through OCD or scrupulosity like this, especially where it starts attacking basic comprehension and meanings, I’d really appreciate hearing from you.

Please pray for me. I’m exhausted and I really want to get better.

For months I’ve been stuck questioning things that I already knew and understood before all of this started.

It started with reading. I became hyperaware of whether I was actually understanding what I read, so I kept checking. Then I started questioning definitions. Not difficult words either — completely normal concepts I’ve known for years.

Like “guilty,” “sentenced,” “trial,” “official,” “government,” “law,” “ownership,” buying and selling, etc. I would ask myself what a word really meant, then question the definition, then question the words inside that definition. I kept digging deeper and deeper into things that previously required zero thought.

Now sometimes these words just feel blank. I recognize them. I know I used to understand them automatically. But my brain immediately starts inspecting them instead of just letting the meaning exist.

I haven’t properly read a book or watched TV normally in months. I genuinely don’t remember what normal reading is supposed to feel like anymore. I used to just read a sentence and know what was happening. I didn’t sit there thinking about how the words created meaning or whether I understood every concept “correctly.”

Even imagining things has gotten caught in it. I’ll picture something I’m reading and immediately think, “Wait, did I imagine that correctly? Is that actually what this means?” Then I start checking the mental image too.

It’s been going on for so long that sometimes I genuinely feel like I don’t even know what reality is anymore. I don’t mean that I literally don’t know where I am or that I believe the world isn’t real. I mean I’ve questioned my own understanding of ordinary things so relentlessly that everything can start feeling unfamiliar and uncertain.

That’s what scares me. Before this, I didn’t need definitions for definitions for definitions. I just lived, read things, watched things, understood situations and moved on.

Has anyone with OCD gotten this deep into questioning meanings and comprehension? Did you eventually get back to just reading and understanding things without constantly checking how your brain was doing it?

I’m a devout Catholic, and lately I’ve been struggling badly with overthinking while reading. I keep analyzing individual words and meanings instead of just understanding them naturally, and it has made reading and studying extremely difficult. I’ve been praying to God constantly for help with this and asking Him to forgive my sins.

Today I went to a roughly two-hour farewell Mass. During Mass I prayed seriously for God to help me read normally again, to clear my mind, and to forgive me for my sins, including masturbation. I genuinely want to become closer to God and overcome this.

What really bothered me is that **right after that youth farewell Mass where i prayed and received my blessings specifically went their to address my own sins and wrondoings, I fell into masturbation again. This wasn’t weeks or even days later — it was basically immediately afterward, and it happened again just moments ago.**

That makes me feel especially guilty because I had literally just spent Mass praying for forgiveness and asking God for help. Part of me starts thinking, “How can I sincerely ask God to forgive me and help me, and then fall into the same sin almost immediately?”

I’m not trying to justify the sin. I genuinely regret it and want to stop. But I also tend to overthink things intensely, so now I’m worried that by doing this right after Mass I somehow rejected God’s grace or made my prayers meaningless.

How should a Catholic understand this? Does falling again so quickly mean my repentance or prayers weren’t sincere, or should I repent again, go to Confession when I can, and keep trusting in God’s mercy rather than obsessively analyzing exactly how badly I failed?

I’m a devout Catholic, and lately I’ve been struggling badly with overthinking while reading. I keep analyzing individual words and meanings instead of just understanding them naturally, and it has made reading and studying extremely difficult. I’ve been praying to God constantly for help with this and asking Him to forgive my sins.

Today I went to a roughly two-hour farewell Mass. During Mass I prayed seriously for God to help me read normally again, to clear my mind, and to forgive me for my sins, including masturbation. I genuinely want to become closer to God and overcome this.

What really bothered me is that **right after that youth farewell Mass where i prayed and received my blessings specifically went their to address my own sins and wrondoings, I fell into masturbation again. This wasn’t weeks or even days later — it was basically immediately afterward, and it happened again just moments ago.**

That makes me feel especially guilty because I had literally just spent Mass praying for forgiveness and asking God for help. Part of me starts thinking, “How can I sincerely ask God to forgive me and help me, and then fall into the same sin almost immediately?”

I’m not trying to justify the sin. I genuinely regret it and want to stop. But I also tend to overthink things intensely, so now I’m worried that by doing this right after Mass I somehow rejected God’s grace or made my prayers meaningless.

How should a Catholic understand this? Does falling again so quickly mean my repentance or prayers weren’t sincere, or should I repent again, go to Confession when I can, and keep trusting in God’s mercy rather than obsessively analyzing exactly how badly I failed?

2 months of Horrible obsessive ocd, now words dont feel familiar and i mechanically read and i overthink meaning of life or words

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About two months ago this all started from one obsessive thought. I was reading my Catholic missal one night and suddenly wondered, “How do I actually understand what I’m reading?” Instead of just moving on, I became obsessed with figuring out how my brain understood language. I kept analyzing it over and over until it completely snowballed.

Now it feels like I’ve lost the natural way my mind used to work. I don’t just read anymore—I mechanically go through words while constantly monitoring whether I actually understood them. Words I’ve known my whole life can suddenly feel strange or unfamiliar, and if I don’t instantly grasp the meaning of a word or sentence, my brain gets stuck on it instead of just moving on.

It’s also affecting the way I think. Thoughts and sentences don’t feel concrete anymore—they almost feel abstract, distant, or disconnected from meaning. Sometimes someone can say a completely normal sentence and instead of just understanding it, I start thinking about \*how\* I’m supposed to understand it. Then I end up questioning the meaning of words I’ve known for years or wondering how I ever learned language in the first place.

I can’t even enjoy movies anymore because instead of following the story, I’m constantly monitoring whether I understood every line correctly. It feels like every automatic cognitive process has become something I’m consciously trying to control. My mind is always analyzing the process of understanding instead of just understanding.

Has anyone else had OCD become this focused on language, meaning, comprehension, or the feeling of understanding itself? Did things eventually go back to feeling natural once the obsession faded? Right now it honestly feels like everything that used to happen effortlessly has become something I’m trying to manually do.

Genuine question, not trying to start a fight.

It feels like we solve one problem, then 10–20 years later we’re dealing with an even bigger one. The 2000s felt like the U.S. had relatively manageable rivals, but now we’re worrying about Russia again, China has become a peer competitor, North Korea is a permanent nuclear state, and Iran remains a major issue.

Is this just inevitable for any superpower, or has the U.S. repeatedly focused too much on short-term goals instead of long-term strategy?

Curious what conservatives think. Is this mostly policy failure, or is it simply impossible to prevent other powers from eventually becoming rivals?

About two months ago this all started from one obsessive thought. I was reading my Catholic missal one night and suddenly wondered, “How do I actually understand what I’m reading?” Instead of just moving on, I became obsessed with figuring out how my brain understood language. I kept analyzing it over and over until it completely snowballed.

Now it feels like I’ve lost the natural way my mind used to work. I don’t just read anymore—I mechanically go through words while constantly monitoring whether I actually understood them. Words I’ve known my whole life can suddenly feel strange or unfamiliar, and if I don’t instantly grasp the meaning of a word or sentence, my brain gets stuck on it instead of just moving on.

It’s also affecting the way I think. Thoughts and sentences don’t feel concrete anymore—they almost feel abstract, distant, or disconnected from meaning. Sometimes someone can say a completely normal sentence and instead of just understanding it, I start thinking about how I’m supposed to understand it. Then I end up questioning the meaning of words I’ve known for years or wondering how I ever learned language in the first place.

I can’t even enjoy movies anymore because instead of following the story, I’m constantly monitoring whether I understood every line correctly. It feels like every automatic cognitive process has become something I’m consciously trying to control. My mind is always analyzing the process of understanding instead of just understanding.

Has anyone else had OCD become this focused on language, meaning, comprehension, or the feeling of understanding itself? Did things eventually go back to feeling natural once the obsession faded? Right now it honestly feels like everything that used to happen effortlessly has become something I’m trying to manually do.

It feels like the 2019–2020 school year was the last “normal” middle school experience before COVID changed everything.
What was your school like? What trends, jokes, music, games, fashion, or social media do you remember? What’s the biggest difference compared to middle school today?

I’m curious if other Americans living/traveling in Europe have experienced a lot of anti-American stereotyping or hostility socially.

When I lived in London for a while, I often felt like being American automatically came with assumptions:
- loud,
- ignorant,
- uncultured,
- politically embarrassing,
etc.
-And also many assumed i was some Neo Nazi for supporting our current President (please do not get heated in the comments)

I also felt people could be socially colder or more dismissive once they heard my accent, especially in certain academic/social environments.

I know not everyone in Europe is like this obviously, and I met normal people too, but the experience honestly left me feeling more alienated than I expected.

Has anyone else experienced this? Or was my experience unusually negative?