I wish I had a boyfriend in high school
I never had a boyfriend in high school. I always wanted one, but the guys I talked to never seemed to workout.
I felt really behind for all my friends being in relationships/having sex and not me. I wanted to be cool and fit in so I started drinking with my friend senior year and I regret that so bad. I feel like if I had a boyfriend I would’ve felt less inclined to do this.
Now that I’m a freshmen in college I’ve started dating my current boyfriend. It was always really important to me to lose my virginity/experience my firsts with someone who was also experiencing those things. However, my current boyfriend had 2 serious relationships in high school. He dated one for three years from his freshman-senior year, and the other one his senior year, and had sex with both of them (they were also both virgins). I’ve been really struggling with some retroactive jealousy, and I can’t help but wish so badly that I had a relationship in high school. I’m even looking back on a guy I could’ve dated and I really wish I had, since he would’ve dated me as well but I was too to start talking to him.
I also had a feeling when I was in high school this would happen by the time I got in my first relationship, so it’s not even like I can be like “well how was I supposed to know.” This has been bothering me so much, and I wish so badly I could go back in time. The first time my boyfriend and I had sex I cried, because I wanted so badly to lose my virginity to another virgin. Every time we’ve had sex since or even talk about it I just get this horrible pit in my stomach, because I can only think about how much sex he had with his other girlfriends.
I also want to clarify that I don’t even wish he didn’t date in high school. I really believe that those experiences made him appreciate me more and turned him into the person I love. I just can’t get over the fact that I wish I had a boyfriend in high school. It doesn’t help that I now know of a guy who would’ve dated me and we could’ve had a good relationship, which makes it even worse.
Any advice would be helpful, TIA!!!!