u/Glittering_Map_7176

I had Dequervain's and trigger thumb surgery two weeks ago, and the surgeon said she'll see me in two months (I got dissolvable stitches). I just got a call from her office yesterday to set up the appointment, and I was told it would be over the phone. I wasn't expecting this, especially since I told the doctor earlier that I've been having pain in my other hand lately. Is it enough to just tell her over the phone or should I request to physically be seen? I had assumed anyway she'd want to actually see my progress for herself, but maybe she thought since I'm over an hour away from her office it'd be more convenient for me.

I had surgery for Dequervain's and Trigger thumb six days ago, and really the only thing my surgeon instructed me on was keeping it dry. I wish I had thought to ask her more questions, but right now my main concern is that since yesterday, my bandaged have been off and up until next Wednesday I need to keep the stitches covered with bandaids. The ones I bought are pretty large.

What's been going on since yesterday is I keep accidentally twisting my wrist when doing certain things such as dressing, fixing my hair, etc and it does hurt at the time but the pain goes away probably within 15 seconds. My concern is that if I keep twisting my wrist, I'll either mess up my stitches or hurt the tendons, so I thought I should wear my brace. Is this a good idea or will this cause irritation? I'm especially worried about the thumb stitches getting rubbed. Could it also cause more swelling? My thumb is still a bit swollen.

My (43f) husband (54m) and I have been married 22 years. I'm a revert, and honestly the hardest part of being married to him is his hard headedness, stubbornness and rigidity. To him, everything is black and white. I'm the complete opposite of him. I was raised in the US and he's from Pakistan. Although he moved to the States when he was in his mid 20's, his mindset is still that of a very traditional, old school Pakistani.

Whenever we have small issues, his sister would explain to me that my husband is just acting a certain way out of stress, and that I don't know what is all going on in his mind because he has to work, take care of the bills, pay fees for the kids' activities and school, eetc.I know there's so much he has to worry about and I deeply respect my husband. But when there's an issue, he won't just fully listen to what I have to say. When he does listen, he literally twists my words around and it's so frustrating. This has been going on for years and I'm so fed up. I'm a very calm person, but he easily gets upset and starts raising his voice, and because he isn't listening to me and getting more aggressive, I eventually start raising my voice just so he'll listen, but I don't actually yell. But he gets more mad, saying I shouldn't raise my voice, but it's perfectly fine for him to raise his!

I recently had surgery on my hand and I knew this would cause some difficulties because I have to cook a lot, so I knew I'd either have to rely on my sons to help, or ask my MIL for help. She ended up coming without me even asking, and I assumed she would just do all the cooking and I would tell my kids to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen. But instead my husband has decided that he would do all of the dishes (he doesn't want his mom to do them because she gets water everywhere), and that he would also be in the kitchen the whole time his mother cooks. I didn't say anything about it, but it made me feel bad because, just because of me, he's taking time off of work to do all this extra work at home even though I never expected it of him.

The other day I was helping pack his lunch and was trying to get a banana from a bunch with one hand and he saw me kind of struggle and suddenly raised his voice and got mad at me for just trying to help. It's hard for me to just sit there and do nothing; I feel like what I can do with one hand, I should try and do. But I got upset with him for raising his voice and I told him and his response was, well you've known for 20 years I talk like that, you should be used to it. I said I always mind it when he takes that tone with me. This is what really bothers me- he expected me to change so much before marriage, but he can't simply talk to me nicer??

I was already kind of feeling blue because I knew I wouldn't be able to do much with just one hand for two weeks, and after he yelled at me I went in my room and was crying. I didn't want him to see that but he came in, saw me crying, and got even more mad, without me even saying anything. He went into the kitchen where his mom was, and was saying all kinds of things to her, such as, I do so much, I'm taking care of her, what kind of husband does she want? (Implying that I'm ungrateful).

All I said was, first of all I don't like you talking that way to me, and second, I feel bad you're putting yourself through more stress because of me, and I feel like I shouldn't have gotten the surgery. Somehow he took this as something completely different from what I said and starts saying all this stuff to his mom, and she doesn't even know what I'm saying because she doesn't know English, so he's making himself look like a hero and I'm an unappreciative wife.

Today something similar happened. He was working and I heard him tell our daughter he was stuck with something (he said he was going to drop her off somewhere) and when I heard this, I said if he's too busy I could drop her off. He said no because he doesn't want me driving until I can take my bandage off my hand even though I'm allowed by the doctor to drive. As soon as he comes home to get our daughter, he gets aggressive with me and said, why did you say you would drop her off, and I said, I was only suggesting that I could if you were stuck with something. Instead of him seeing it as me trying to help him out as much as I can, he just gets mad, and again he starts saying all this stuff to his mom and again she's taking his side. I don't know how I'm going to deal with this for the next two weeks. I guess this is more of a vent, but at the same time, isn't it wrong for him to keep involving his mom? He told me before marriage that in his culture, if husband a wife have an issue they keep it between themselves, but it's like he's simply doing this to make me look bad. It's like he wants me to look crazy. He's really good and manipulating and turning my words around.