u/Glittering_Suit1277

Its like my ocd or what i believe to be ocd is actively morphing in my head.

So at first i was totally convinced I was gay/lesbian. But i had attraction real attraction to men that couldnt be displaced. And so then my brain goes mmh okay ur bi. Yeah ur bisexual. And im like huh? Wait no I dont wanna be bi. I cant. And so i sit and im like well in order to be bi i have to experience attraction to women and me myself I dont feel real attraction for women outside of my hocd/soocd. So then and for a bit of time since I found out about hetronormative behaviour and comphet my mind has been tryna say im that, that my attraction to men isn't real and its fake. And so im watching icarly and carly is so boy crazy and so my brain goes yeah so you watched this as a kid what if you learned this behaviour from icarly (being boy crazy) and you're actually a lesbian in denial. I mean i dont believe im lesbian but I cant exactly disprove having comphet or being in denial or hetronormative activity? So it just feels so real and im so scared and its like what do I do? I mean is this real? And if you're thinking well u said you definitely have attraction for men why cant you say you definitely dont for women and thats simply because of my ocd thoughts me myself without ocd have no attraction or desire for women but with the intrusive ocd thoughts its so hard to trust myself and know what I want.

Really i just wanna know has anyone had this happen to them where their thoughts morph infront of them and u can see and feel it happening??

Kind of a random question but do people with ocd enjoy their lives?

I suspect that i have hocd/soocd. I think it does play a huge factor as to why I'm unhappy but regardless I dont have anything I like. No TV shows, no movies, no games. Anything I do I have no peace or joy at all. I woke up today just so sullen and sad and immediately started panicking (what did I dream about scared did i dream of women and therefore I'm lesbian) but i mean its just constant emptiness. I feel nothing for no one im constantly fighting my thoughts so I really have no time to think about anything else. But this cant be life just sad and just going through life. I mean what's the point then?

Anyways my main point is, is this what everyone with ocd feels (we definitely arent all the same) but something has to be common or do other people also feel like this and is it a result of ocd? Or is it depression? Or do some people still enjoy life with ocd?

Kind of a random question but do people with ocd enjoy their lives?

I suspect that i have hocd/soocd. I think it does play a huge factor as to why I'm unhappy but regardless I dont have anything I like. No TV shows, no movies, no games. Anything I do I have no peace or joy at all. I woke up today just so sullen and sad and immediately started panicking (what did I dream about scared did i dream of women and therefore I'm lesbian) but i mean its just constant emptiness. I feel nothing for no one im constantly fighting my thoughts so I really have no time to think about anything else. But this cant be life just sad and just going through life. I mean what's the point then?

Anyways my main point is, is this what everyone with ocd feels (we definitely arent all the same) but something has to be common or do other people also feel like this and is it a result of ocd? Or is it depression? Or do some people still enjoy life with ocd?

Kind of a random question but do people with ocd enjoy their lives?

I suspect that i have hocd/soocd. I think it does play a huge factor as to why I'm unhappy but regardless I dont have anything I like. No TV shows, no movies, no games. Anything I do I have no peace or joy at all. I woke up today just so sullen and sad and immediately started panicking (what did I dream about scared did i dream of women and therefore I'm lesbian) but i mean its just constant emptiness. I feel nothing for no one im constantly fighting my thoughts so I really have no time to think about anything else. But this cant be life just sad and just going through life. I mean what's the point then?

Anyways my main point is, is this what everyone with ocd feels (we definitely arent all the same) but something has to be common or do other people also feel like this and is it a result of ocd? Or is it depression? Or do some people still enjoy life with ocd?

Hi so I think I have hocd/soocd. Recently though It just feels so real and I know ocd does feel incredibly real but how do I know that its ocd and im not actually just lesbian using the ocd as a cover so that I dont have to admit it.

Like I'll be scrolling on social media and then boom there's a pretty girl and I can admit she's pretty now I have a lot of intrusive thoughts about kissing and so I'll have a kissing thought but I can admit the person is pretty so how can I say its ocd? Also sometimes ill just be scrolling ok there's a pretty girl now my stomachs dropped and ive got panic in my stomach and im scared but how do I know im not just scared from finding her attractive and like im in denial or have internalised homophobia. Sometimes i dont even have to look at the girls properly i just get scared. I dont know what to do im living in a constant state of panic and feeling like im actually lesbian. But I want to have relationships with men and not women. Idk what to do i cant even look at a such obviously pretty girl without my stomach dropping, getting scared and thinking im lesbian. But how do i know im not like Ive seen those post that say I thought I had hocd/soocd but really i was just religious and gay. I really dont want to be lesbian but its not a choice.

So I feel like i have hocd/soocd a lot of the stuff I go through align with ocd however I dont want to self diagnose and am trying to get a therapist.

Basically I keep getting convinced that I am lesbian even tho im straight. Now ive done some not straight stuff in the past. When I was about 12-13 I used to masterbate to breast. I used to do it alot and also stopped doing it before I had these intrusive thoughts but now my brain is using it as proof. A lot of these posts about hocd/soocd say a lot of gay/lesbian people knew from a young age and i did those stuff at a young age now while I was doing those stuff I still labelled myself as straight and even had crushes on men. But now im scared that I am infact lesbian cause of what I used to do and am in denial or have internalised homophobia and that im suppressing my real attraction for women since I no longer get turned on by what I used to.

Please I need help. Can I still be straight after what I did?

So I feel like i have hocd/soocd a lot of the stuff I go through align with ocd however I dont want to self diagnose and am trying to get a therapist.

Basically I keep getting convinced that I am lesbian even tho im straight. Now ive done some not straight stuff in the past. When I was about 12-13 I used to masterbate to breast. I used to do it alot and also stopped doing it before I had these intrusive thoughts but now my brain is using it as proof. A lot of these posts about hocd/soocd say a lot of gay/lesbian people knew from a young age and i did those stuff at a young age now while I was doing those stuff I still labelled myself as straight and even had crushes on men. But now im scared that I am infact lesbian cause of what I used to do and am in denial or have internalised homophobia and that im suppressing my real attraction for women since I no longer get turned on by what I used to.

Please I need help. Can I still be straight after what i did?

Hi im in need of help. I have what i believe is hocd/so-ocd. It makes me think im lesbian. Ive been having repeated kissing thoughts for some time now and specifically about this one girl so I go and check her tiktok videos very often to test whether im still having the thoughts or if i can now look at her and feel nothing. All of yesterday and now today I have been consumed by watching her videos. However, while watching I asked myself what do I want from her? Like do I want a relationship and no i dont? Do i want sexual things? Again no. So really all it is, is that im scared of being attracted to her and the thoughts being real and that meaning something about my sexuality.

My main question is how do I stop this cycle? How do I stop feeling scared? How do I stop her face coming into my mind (as images)? How do I stop watching her videos? Cause to me I mean i dont want her, i just dont want to be attracted to her. Like in dont want to have kissing thoughts or sexual thoughts about her or any woman at that but I mean id rather start here cause I know i cant just stop this all in one night.

Genuinely how do I tell if im lesbian?

I [17F] have been having thoughts about women for about 5/6 years now. These thoughts include kissing and sex. However the thoughts distress me very much and arent wanted. So imagine ill like be scrolling on tiktok ill see a girl ill think oh shes pretty insert image of us kissing in my head and then I get super panicked and I can't let the thought go for hours. Or I'll be doing the same thing but I'll feel this pull that i can't explain. Its kinda like when I think about loving a man, being with a man and being in love and engulfed with a man that's what im feeling and it makes me scared its like imagine being with her like really being loved by her and I dont want to. Its just things id imagine doing with a man but happening with a woman. I started having these thoughts after my ex 'friend' asked me across the classroom if I was lesbian and i said no but it became scared that they knew something I didnt or saw something I didnt but I also just feel like this is all a lie and im manipulating myself to cope and feel better about being a lesbian even though I came out as a lesbian to my mom, but I dont believe it like even after coming out I continued to have the thoughts and fear. And its like why dont you want to be lesbian? And i mean i never imagined my life being like that (being with a woman), im not comfortable with it, its not what I want and i know you can't control your attraction like if im lesbian what can I do? I'm lesbian. But i dont want to be.

So i think I have so-ocd/hocd. I am not diagnosed but am actively trying to get into therapy and get help but I think its a 99% chance of OCD.

However, ive just had a crazy like thought and idk if anyone else has gone thru this or knows how to deal with it. As i said i think I have so-ocd/hocd which makes me think im lesbian one of my intrusive thoughts is kissing (same gender). So I was checking this girls tt to see if i would have any kissing thoughts cause i usually do ab her and if i dont check i get super anxious. I saw this pic of her and idk what happened but I couldn't put my finger on what made me feel anxious about the pic I was like is ot her lips (usually), her hair, her expression, her eyes, her skin and then when I started thinking all this is got super scared thinking it was real and I liked her and have a crush on her cause why would it be all those things at once. At the same time I was saying bye to my mom and gave her a kiss on the cheek and then I was like oh my mom's skin is soft and then my mind was oh imagine its that girl you were saying that her skin looks soft and looks like it would feel soft and then I got super scared and started panicking and then I couldn't pucture my mom everytime I would try to think of my mom this girls face would show up (apparently it's false memory ocd not too sure tho) anyways I started getting scared cause I dont want to think ab this girl and i dont want to forget about my mom and im scared i am. I just keep having panic attacks about it and i can't forget this girl face and then im also getting scared that i actually am lesbian on top of this.

Im [17 F] I often check this girls tiktok videos a lot to see if i like her cause I dont know if I do or dont. I sometimes feel an urge to want to kiss her but it makes me feel disgusted, uncomfortable and yucky. It makes me panic a lot and I dont know if im lesbian or not. I also like some of her facial features I guess and like it makes me scared that im lesbian. And im just stuck in this cycle of do I? Don't i? And i don't know what to do cause its driving me crazy abd I mean ive been on this for months probably since March or even late February. I'm at my wits end.

I am [17 F] and ive been questioning my sexuality for a really long time now maybe since I was about 13? Not in the typical way though. It started with my friend asking me if i was lesbian (I had never thought about it before then nor did I think i was) but after that incident I have just never stopped questioning and its taking over my life. I dont particularly want to marry or date a women nor engage in any sexual activities with them. I dont think I can ever see myself marrying or dating a women (even if short term) however i see a lot of women on my social who I think are very pretty and my mind will put an image of me kissing them or say do i want to kiss them? This usually results in me feeling panicked, scared and i really just want them to stop however im scared i just have internalised homophobia and am in denial. Due to this ive come out as a lesbian to my mom however the thoughts and panic haven't stopped and I also just dont feel as if i am lesbian as I really want to marry/date a man and do other stuff with men. Another issue is that in the lock down I did do some same sex stuff and its now haunting me as proof.

Please help and provide some input it would help me alot.