u/Global-Version-2878

TL;DR: My boyfriend has ADHD, and we’re back together after a ups and hard downs . I want to understand ADHD better so I can support him without losing myself. Any books, resources, or practical advice?

My boyfriend and I have been together for years. Love has never been the issue, and there has never been cheating or betrayal. We love each other very deeply. Our biggest challenge has been that I need more reassurance and visible commitment, while he struggles with project making and explicit commitment.
We’re back together now, and I’m trying to understand ADHD instead of making assumptions. I think I underestimated how much it may have influenced his behaviour.
We’re also in a long-distance relationship. I know regular calls or making plans can feel stressful for him, and I don’t want to put pressure on him , even if this is really not easy for me since I am very joyful communicative . I accept that, but I also find it hard to have so little contact.
I truly know we could be very happy together, I love him with all my heart and admire him for who he is adhd or not - and that’s why I’m here. I don’t want us to keep repeating the same patterns or spend years suffering because of misunderstandings if there are healthier ways to navigate ADHD together.

I’d love advice from people with ADHD or partners of someone with ADHD. What helped your relationship? What should I avoid doing? How can I support him without overwhelming him? And what healthy boundaries should I keep?
Thank you so much.

Bonjour
Je souhaiterais participer à des scènes ouvertes, notamment de poésie d'écriture par exemple, mais j'aimerais aussi regarder d'autres participants de tous domaines :-)
Savez-vous où il s'en passe régulièrement ? Merci beaucoup.

I know that I feel terribly alone , and that binges appeared to replace the social and affection wholes I have in me . A kind of guilty pleasure ... "at least I have that to make me feel cuddled and pleasure today"... and it s been years - too long now . I b/p many times a day .

Outside I seem like a very successful independant and pretty 32 y.o woman, people would never guess ... I have no other mental disorder or sickness and I love sports (I don't use it to compensate).

I am looking for pals to support each other and get out together of these b/p cycles . It s possible . Others have done it so we can too, we only need help and support each other to achieve it .

:)