u/Global_Tomorrow3719

So I've taken admission for the B.Arch course. What should I expect? Do I need to prepare something before joining college? Any essentials?

Okay things have been quite patchy with my partner lately. I know we are young and all but I've always been a believer of talking out important things like: political ideologies, drinking, dietary preferences, marriage, kids, equality, finances, staying in or out of our country, etc.

So we've been together since over 2 years now and for most part our opinions were aligned. He's a vegetarian, inspired by him even i switched to vegetarian lifestyle (I was initially a vegetarian who also ate eggs, egg-itarian).

Both my parents are engineers but my mom is a SAHM. 2 years ago I believed I was likely to become an engineer myself and glamourised the life my mom had and told him that's what i wanted for myself (as i had no interest in engineering, always wanted to be an architect).

However now that circumstances have changed and so have my opinions. Since, I am to leave for college in 2 months to become an architect, which is my dream career, I actually do want to keep my job. I do want to be financially independent which for some reason my bf thinks that means its a safety net women create do they have the option to up and leave if things go south. I told him thats not what financial independence means to me and that i want to have the ability to buy things i want and not have to ask him for money or approval. To that he thinks that couple should regardless consult each other before buying anything. But I believe in the concept of: his money, my money and our money. Like a good portion of money should collectively be joint for saving and daily expenses while some of it (10-15%) should be used to save and buy things that you want to (eg. lego) without needing to ask the other. He disagrees with the whole concept and says that there is no such thing as his money or my money.

Secondly, he thinks I'm watching to many reels and that's making me too 'feminist'. I argue everyone should be a feminist, and i'm not a misandrist if thats what he think I'm being. He says that all these reel-life does not mirror our reality and that i need to live in the real world. Often times he makes jokes like "he'll cut me off the internet" or "snap my sim" or "delete my insta acc". The reason why he makes such comments are because I demand that if we're both working a 9-5, then both should contribute equally in the housework. He seems to have some kind of aversion to housework and thinks that if I earn less than him, I should do more housework. But I argue that he can't judge my work based on my salary as I'm working the same amount of hours as him. So he says then leave your job, why'd you need a job if I can provide for both of us.

He wants me leave or take a break from my career when kids happen because he thinks that atleast one parent should constantly be with the child and that he'll switch places if I out earn him. Which I'm reluctant to do but will probably find a work from home or by then start my own architectural firm; so i wouldn't need to leave my career.

Lastly, we had a huge one month long disagreement over drinking and non veg. As we're going to college I wanted to return to my eggi-tarian lifestyle since canteen food in college may or may not be great and i wanted to keep my options open. I was open to venturing into non veg as well but he's strictly against it. I felt that it was my choice what i ate or drank as long and that as long as i'm respectful enough to not indulge in those things in front of him or his family, he shouldn't have an issue. Well that's not the case, he says that if i have the right to choose what to eat and drink, then he has the right to choose his partner.

When it came to drinking, we negotiated on me drinking only and only in his presence and not in front of any other company and no eating non-veg but egg is alright.

How do I explain to him that wanting him to contribute 50-50 in housework is not being "feminist" as he thinks it is but actually a basic decent human thing to do.

Sometimes I genuinely wonder if feels any empathy for me? I really do love him but things like things make me question everything. He's a good person and I fear I'll never find anyone like him with whom I've been so emotionally vulnerable. I feel lost.

Okay things have been quite patchy with my partner lately. I know we are young and all but I've always been a believer of talking out important things like: political ideologies, drinking, dietary preferences, marriage, kids, equality, finances, staying in or out of our country, etc.

So we've been together since over 2 years now and for most part our opinions were aligned. He's a vegetarian, inspired by him even i switched to vegetarian lifestyle (I was initially a vegetarian who also ate eggs, egg-itarian).

Both my parents are engineers but my mom is a SAHM. 2 years ago I believed I was likely to become an engineer myself and glamourised the life my mom had and told him that's what i wanted for myself (as i had no interest in engineering, always wanted to be an architect).

However now that circumstances have changed and so have my opinions. Since, I am to leave for college in 2 months to become an architect, which is my dream career, I actually do want to keep my job. I do want to be financially independent which for some reason my bf thinks that means its a safety net women create do they have the option to up and leave if things go south. I told him thats not what financial independence means to me and that i want to have the ability to buy things i want and not have to ask him for money or approval. To that he thinks that couple should regardless consult each other before buying anything. But I believe in the concept of: his money, my money and our money. Like a good portion of money should collectively be joint for saving and daily expenses while some of it (10-15%) should be used to save and buy things that you want to (eg. lego) without needing to ask the other. He disagrees with the whole concept and says that there is no such thing as his money or my money.

Secondly, he thinks I'm watching to many reels and that's making me too 'feminist'. I argue everyone should be a feminist, and i'm not a misandrist if thats what he think I'm being. He says that all these reel-life does not mirror our reality and that i need to live in the real world. Often times he makes jokes like "he'll cut me off the internet" or "snap my sim" or "delete my insta acc". The reason why he makes such comments are because I demand that if we're both working a 9-5, then both should contribute equally in the housework. He seems to have some kind of aversion to housework and thinks that if I earn less than him, I should do more housework. But I argue that he can't judge my work based on my salary as I'm working the same amount of hours as him. So he says then leave your job, why'd you need a job if I can provide for both of us.

He wants me leave or take a break from my career when kids happen because he thinks that atleast one parent should constantly be with the child and that he'll switch places if I out earn him. Which I'm reluctant to do but will probably find a work from home or by then start my own architectural firm; so i wouldn't need to leave my career.

Lastly, we had a huge one month long disagreement over drinking and non veg. As we're going to college I wanted to return to my eggi-tarian lifestyle since canteen food in college may or may not be great and i wanted to keep my options open. I was open to venturing into non veg as well but he's strictly against it. I felt that it was my choice what i ate or drank as long and that as long as i'm respectful enough to not indulge in those things in front of him or his family, he shouldn't have an issue. Well that's not the case, he says that if i have the right to choose what to eat and drink, then he has the right to choose his partner.

When it came to drinking, we negotiated on me drinking only and only in his presence and not in front of any other company and no eating non-veg but egg is alright.

How do I explain to him that wanting him to contribute 50-50 in housework is not being "feminist" as he thinks it is but actually a basic decent human thing to do.

Sometimes I genuinely wonder if feels any empathy for me? I really do love him but things like things make me question everything. He's a good person and I fear I'll never find anyone like him with whom I've been so emotionally vulnerable. I feel lost.

Was solving LR ques on phodu club when the date changed (and paper changed) so wasnt able to submit and see the correct answer or reasoning.

Pls help.