u/GlumEntertainment902

Hey everyone,

I’ve never traveled outside my country before, but I’m planning my first international trip next year, and China is currently at the top of my list.

Since it will be my first time visiting, I’d love some honest recommendations from people who know the country well.

If you could recommend one city for a first-time visitor, which would it be and why?

I’m interested in experiencing local culture, food, beautiful places, and everyday life….not just tourist attractions. I’m also curious which city feels the most welcoming or easiest for a first-time foreign traveler.

Looking forward to hearing your suggestions 🙂

I want to ask this respectfully because I genuinely want to understand if this was cultural or just a personal experience.

Last year, I met a Chinese girl on Reddit. She was beautiful, caring, understanding, and genuinely made me feel confident. We connected deeply and started talking every day on almost every platform possible. Over time, I became emotionally attached and honestly a bit obsessed because she brought so much peace into my life.

For the first 3 months, everything felt like a dream. I was genuinely happy, and I even started planning a trip to China in early 2027 to finally meet her.

Then suddenly, things changed.

One day, she asked me, “Why should I meet you? You haven’t proved yourself yet.”

I asked what she meant, and she said I hadn’t sent her gifts or money to prove that I was serious about her.

Honestly, I was shocked because we had never even met in person, and suddenly money became important. But then I told myself, maybe this is a cultural difference that I don’t understand. So I told her to give me a couple of months because I needed to save money for the China trip and also for gifts.

What surprised me was that she didn’t seem interested in my travel plans at all. She only said, “I’ll see if you really gift me after two months.”

After that, everything changed. She stopped talking to me kindly, blocked me multiple times, constantly said we were “not a match,” and put me under a lot of emotional pressure. She even said that if another guy gave her gifts, she would switch to him.

That honestly shattered me.

I know this sounds foolish, but I’m still emotionally attached because I’m a very loyal person and I don’t easily give up on people. I still remember the good times more than the bad ones.

My honest question is:

Was this likely just an individual personality issue, or is gift-giving and financial proof considered an important part of dating culture in China, especially in long-distance relationships? I genuinely want to understand and not judge unfairly.

Do young people in China still believe in marriage and long-term relationships, or has dating become more difficult like in many other countries?

What do you think are the main reasons - money, work pressure, changing values, or something else?

M31, still a virgin.

It’s not like I never had chances. When I was younger, I was very serious about sex and believed that I would only have sex with the woman I was going to marry. Because of that belief, I turned down almost five chances.

At the time, I wasn’t financially stable either, and I genuinely wanted my first time to be meaningful and with someone I saw a future with.

Now, at 31, most people my age are married or settled, while I feel lonely and depressed most of the time. Recently, my long-distance relationship also ended, which made things even harder mentally.

Sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong choice. Did I hold on too tightly to values that don’t really matter in today’s world? Was I naive for waiting?

I also find myself questioning whether being “good” or patient was worth it when life feels this lonely.

M31, Single

I don’t know where to start.

I don’t like talking like a hopeless man, but things haven’t been going well for years.

I’m getting older, unable to find a stable source of income, and constantly living under stress. Sometimes I wonder — am I really this unlucky, or did I make the wrong choices somewhere?

Recently, my long-distance girlfriend left me, saying that we were not a match. Since I wasn’t able to gift her anything, I asked for a few more months, but it seems she had already made up her mind. Was love really that weak, or was I just not enough?

Now, I’m all alone.

Struggling financially and emotionally. I can’t focus on anything, and I don’t have anyone close enough to hear my pain.

Has anyone else gone through something like this in their 30s? How did you rebuild yourself when life felt completely stuck?