u/Glum_Feed1580

Hi! I’m a July Cancer. I consistently have attracted Libra men romantically, but the flame burns super bright and burns half as long. I’m emotionally intense, intelligent, caring, kind and very considerate. I’m a pretty attractive girl, so I have options.. but once I really like someone i’m like let’s trade skin for a day sort of deal lol. I notice that i over invest myself in the talking stage too soon, and this is something i consistently find myself doing with libra men. By the way, it’s not like this is one or two libra men I’ve dated… the last five men I have talked to have been libras, which is crazy to me. Cancer and Libra are drawn to eachother physically and it is magnetic, until things get real is what I’ve realized.

A few things that i’ve observed about them :

1. A lot of libra men are very flirty, charming and take really good care of themselves. They tend to sometimes present in some feminine ways as well and are comfortable with their masculinity.

They are romantic and a lot of romance for them is mystery and fantasy based. They will say things they dont mean in the beginning because of that fantasy.

2.

1. I wouldn’t say it is love bombing, but it feels similar to that. And then when things start feeling real and you start actually addressing things, they will start to pull back and try to be more logical… even though they just spent the last four days texting you about what the names of your kids would be ( didn’t happen, just hypothetical lol )

3. I feel I kept confusing their openness and ability to talk to anyone as them caring. A lot of libra men are genuinely just open and down for the experience with anyone, and also the people pleaser in them just makes them come across as nice. Im different than this. I’m very intentional about who I give my time to, and if i’m texting you consistently from the jump.. it’s because I think it’s going somewhere down the line. I either care or i don’t at all. However, what I find is this causes a clash too soon. I’m mistaking their opennness to chat and make others comfortable as a sign that I can open up and say anything. This is not true, and I don’t want to overshare too soon during a talking stage.

All in all, i’m just asking how to do better this time and just take things slower as a cancer. I think libra men tend to want to move a lot slower than we do, and thats where I have butt heads with them in the past. I need to just see things for what they are in the beginning and not be so locked into someone lol

First off, I may be in serious need of a career pivot. I’m burnt out and having trouble applying meaning to this job anymore because I view it as so temporary and not building on anything for myself.
I love the life nannying has given me, due to the fact that I grew up poor… but I think now i’d tell myself to just take out loans and pick something practical.
Nannying feels oppressive and too traditional for me. In a world where women have the potential to do anything they want, nannying feels too demeaning. I get it, we’re getting paid to watch kids and not being forced to, but honestly I fell into this during school because I had no other option and it paid better than minimum wage jobs. Plus, i’m good at it. But i’m over it. This cannot be all that’s left for me to do in my life. I’m going to be stuck here if I don’t make a decision, and then I feel i’ll be failing myself and other women who wanted more. Let’s be honest, it’s hard work and most of us are underpaid. We deserve insurance with our jobs. We deserve to be viewed as competent. Women are dynamic and multi faceted- I want to live up to that. I value the importance of nannying, but I feel society doesn’t.

So idk if this is something everyone feels or just me, but I constantly feel like i’m up against the clock for things I want to do. I feel like everyone who has a job thinks everyone has the same 24 hours in a day , which is not true. I’ve been frustrated at some of my friends lack of ability to be understanding about this. For example, if you work from home and work 8-3, you likely have a lot more time to show up as a friend or family member consistently - esp if your job doesn’t have very much social interaction. I feel like a lot of people in my life want my time without recognizing that I am physically and mentally drained the majority of the time. I’m not trying to be selfish by not hanging out a lot or answering your calls, I need to regain my capacity in order to do so. I’m going into nursing and I’m worried i’m not going to have friends who recognize this. :( It’s not my friends job to be my therapist but I just wish people would stop applying pressure about expectations for showing up in certain ways in our lives when not everyone has the same amount of free time and mental capacity!

Is it bad I didn’t write a card or do anything? I’m with them all week and I adore them but we didn’t get around to doing it. Is it mandatory or just considered polite ? Ugh

Hi. I’m a 25F. Growing up, I was considerably bright and excelled at writing, english, and biology. Always awful at math. When i was a child, my mom always told my life trajectory and I felt motivated to achieve from a young age. I remember dreaming about attending an ivy league in sixth grade and I had the work ethic for it. However, as I started growing up, my mental health worsened. My home life was not great and my teachers wanted my parents to intervene for my mental health but they declined. I feel if I got treated for ADHD and depression, or at least was in therapy, I would have turned out better off.
The minute I got to college I felt empty. I felt like I belonged nowhere and I had a drinking problem amongst other issues. My original major was criminal justice.. I thought I wanted to be a lawyer. I procrastinated but still did well. A lot of my assignments were essays.
Then, I got kicked out for a semester due to my drinking issue that sent me to the hospital. I felt lost but was trying to get my life back on track. I started working out everyday and worked two jobs to try and earn my mom’s respect for me back. I got back to school and chose the major neuroscience to try and keep up with other asian kids. I still fell behind. I have a deep feeling of shame when it comes to school. It triggers everyone insecurity in me and I constantly feel like I won’t do well before I even have the chance to. I fall behind due to this anxiety and it affects my grades.
Now, I work 50 hours a week as a caregiver and am trying to keep up with school but I still feel this way. My gpa is a 2.0. I used to be a 4.0 student despite my poor mental health in highschool. I used to be better than this and now i’m a failure. I hate myself. My entire friend group are high achievers and I’m watching people fly by in success and i’m mourning this person I thought I was going to be.

Is the answer quitting school entirely and focusing on my mental health? I feel I need to get on ADHD medication and it will help a lot. I clearly have unresolved issues that keep coming up.

I guess i’m looking for peoples thoughts and validation. I realized i either am so fully burnt out from caring for people or i just don’t care about it anymore. i would care for a child for 8-10 hours a day and neglect my needs and then come home and listen to friends or family vent. i can’t do it anymore. i want to go back to school and study something completely different and WFH so everyone leaves me alone. There codependency in care giving. I have no clue who I an anymore.