u/God-sSoldier077

This is gonna be a long one...Hi fam please remember me and my family in your prayers. I just wanted to share what I've been going through and since I can't do it irl, why not online where we can post anonymously(I might overshare). I hope I don't sound like "woe is me" . I grew up in a christian houselhold, but we never went to church.I really came to want to know Christ and 2 years ago i gave my life to Christ.My family situation is not so great. My dad's gambling habbit is really harming our family and it's gotten worse this year. He even borrows money from me, a teen.Like is he that broke when he keeps more money that me,my mom and my brother??My relationship with him has never been that good. I've shared the gospel with him, but he's just a nominal believer.Ive prayed for him, tried to work things out but things never change.He is an adulterer so him and my mom don't even talk to each other on the phone for months when he goes out of state for work. He visits like twice a year. And when he visits they always fight. Screaming,arguing,speaking of divorce. When they get angry at me, my mom says I'm like my dad and my dad says I'm like my mom.😂

And my mom...i feel bad for her. I always feel like a burden to both her and my dad. But what makes me upset is her favoritism. I have a brother who is younger by 2 years. My mom's favoritism is so obvious, i know it's petty but I feel so upset. She keeps on verbally abusing me even though she might not realise it. AND IT HURTS MUCH HEARING THOSE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOU OWN MOTHER'S MOUTH. She hits me sometimes when she is mad.And you know what? My brother is so spoiled. I've tried so hard to be a good example to him, preach to him and bought him a Bible but he keeps on being more hostile and disobedient to my mom. She is literally like a slave to him. My brother and her constantly bicker and my mom can't even discipline him. He keeps hanging out with wrong people and makes my mom do everything for him.

And my mom complains about it but does nothing to discipline him??? Like if she raised him the way SHE RAISED ME he wouldn't turn out like this. And when I try to discipline him, she scolds me.My brother quarrels with my mom and she, in turn, takes it out on me. She keeps forcing me to accomodate to his wants. If I have something my brother wants she forces me to give it to him even if I myself have only one piece of that thing. I don't feel so loved in my family. I am fed, i have a place to live, and they buy me things, and that's love too to be honest.

I wish I could word things better. I am so sad but I don't want to cry over things like this anymore. I've shared this with someone I've trusted before but they brushed it away and they always make me feel like my troubles aren't valid. Am I overreacting,like honestly? Maybe I can change myself.It's been like this for years and it's making me crazy. This environment is so toxic. I wish I could be more like Jesus but my family always brings out the worst in me. I feel so guilty. I try to be a good person but always end up sad or angry so i try my best not to talk with them as much.

I wish I could share this with someone other than Jesus. I know Jesus is enough but I just want to tell someone. I want to have hope. I have tried what I could but things never change, I wonder if theres nothing I can do. It seems self destructive to keep hoping when you only get disappointments one after another. What if I just accept things as they are? But for now, please pray for my family.

Thanks for reading all this. God bless you.

Just as in the title, i wanna make some artworks for people here. Im not an expert at art but I'd say im an intermediate. I draw semi-realistic anime style. Can try animals too. Simple background. You can message me. Life brings different struggles and obstacles and i hope i can cheer someone through my art. And of course i cant draw anything that goes against the Bible.

Also, reminder to read your Bible today. O_O

Just as in the title, i wanna make some artworks for people here. Im not an expert at art but I'd say im an intermediate. I draw semi-realistic anime style. Can try animals too. Simple background. You can message me. Life brings different struggles and obstacles and i hope i can cheer someone through my art. And of course i cant draw anything that goes against the Bible.

Reminder to read your Bible today. O_O